Anonymous
02/16/2013 20:44
Subject: Raising a child without a father
Anonymous wrote:Why the hell do posts like this ALWAYS devolve into blaming the mother? It doesn't matter why she was with him, or why he left.
What matters is her kid, who is here NOW and who she is trying to raise without a father (for whatever reason). She posted here for advice and support, not to be ripped to shreds.
It's fine to say 'be careful who you date and go slow', but why the fuck do people need to be nasty about it? Are you so miserable inside that you need to spread it around? 23:33 is scary, but not nasty. That's good info to think hard about when dating. 23:12 is an asshole.
If a single mom posts here and is obviously a nutcase, go for it. But not every single mother is a slut, stupid or irresponsible. Yet EVERY post gets responses that blame her for being all of the above.
You want to help the child, "the one who is more sorely affected"? Which do you think is more helpful? Making her mother feel like shit and guilty (she prob already feels that way or she wouldn't post a question like this)? or giving thoughtful advice that she can USE and think about?
Because there is a or a handful of trolls that are on this forum to harass single moms.
One who claims to be a man railroaded by the system and at least one woman whose husband dipped out. I'm pretty sure my ex's wife is on here harassing single moms thinking they are me. Ex was dumb enough to make reference to it.
Anonymous
02/16/2013 11:05
Subject: Raising a child without a father
Why the hell do posts like this ALWAYS devolve into blaming the mother? It doesn't matter why she was with him, or why he left.
What matters is her kid, who is here NOW and who she is trying to raise without a father (for whatever reason). She posted here for advice and support, not to be ripped to shreds.
It's fine to say 'be careful who you date and go slow', but why the fuck do people need to be nasty about it? Are you so miserable inside that you need to spread it around? 23:33 is scary, but not nasty. That's good info to think hard about when dating. 23:12 is an asshole.
If a single mom posts here and is obviously a nutcase, go for it. But not every single mother is a slut, stupid or irresponsible. Yet EVERY post gets responses that blame her for being all of the above.
You want to help the child, "the one who is more sorely affected"? Which do you think is more helpful? Making her mother feel like shit and guilty (she prob already feels that way or she wouldn't post a question like this)? or giving thoughtful advice that she can USE and think about?
What matters is her kid, who is here NOW and who she is trying to raise without a father (for whatever reason). She posted here for advice and support, not to be ripped to shreds.
It's fine to say 'be careful who you date and go slow', but why the fuck do people need to be nasty about it? Are you so miserable inside that you need to spread it around? 23:33 is scary, but not nasty. That's good info to think hard about when dating. 23:12 is an asshole.
If a single mom posts here and is obviously a nutcase, go for it. But not every single mother is a slut, stupid or irresponsible. Yet EVERY post gets responses that blame her for being all of the above.
You want to help the child, "the one who is more sorely affected"? Which do you think is more helpful? Making her mother feel like shit and guilty (she prob already feels that way or she wouldn't post a question like this)? or giving thoughtful advice that she can USE and think about?
Anonymous
02/16/2013 09:11
Subject: Raising a child without a father
You love her.
Anonymous
02/15/2013 23:33
Subject: Re:Raising a child without a father
Be picky about the men you bring home. Rate of (sexual) abuse with a non bio parent in the home is higher. All those "boyfriends" may be leaving your room and going into your daughters. Be careful of running about trying to find male father figures. These men may not be trustworthy. If your family of origin is dysfunctional, now is the time to draw the line (lose their phone numbers).
Also, be open about sex and about birth control. Many stats show a strong association between teen pregnancy and absent fathers. And evidence suggests that girls with stepfathers engage in sexual behavior even earlier. http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn3724-absent-fathers-linked-to-teenage-pregnancies.html .
Just saying. Be careful.
Also, be open about sex and about birth control. Many stats show a strong association between teen pregnancy and absent fathers. And evidence suggests that girls with stepfathers engage in sexual behavior even earlier. http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn3724-absent-fathers-linked-to-teenage-pregnancies.html .
Just saying. Be careful.
Anonymous
02/15/2013 23:16
Subject: Raising a child without a father
Er, loser is the guy who cut and ran.
Anonymous
02/15/2013 23:12
Subject: Re:Raising a child without a father
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So this is her fault that he split then?
Um, there's the possibility of the old she wanted a kid, he wasn't asked kind of thing....
OP can clarify or we'll keep guessing.
No, frankly it's none of your business, loser.
No. The loser is a woman who has a child without benefit of a man who can be counted on to help care for his child. Of course, the child is the one who is more sorely affected.
Anonymous
02/15/2013 21:13
Subject: Re:Raising a child without a father
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So this is her fault that he split then?
Um, there's the possibility of the old she wanted a kid, he wasn't asked kind of thing....
OP can clarify or we'll keep guessing.
No, frankly it's none of your business, loser.
Anonymous
02/15/2013 20:37
Subject: Re:Raising a child without a father
Anonymous wrote:So this is her fault that he split then?
Um, there's the possibility of the old she wanted a kid, he wasn't asked kind of thing....
OP can clarify or we'll keep guessing.
Anonymous
02/15/2013 20:08
Subject: Re:Raising a child without a father
So this is her fault that he split then?