I think it is way too old. You have a greater risk of having a Down Syndrome's baby. My dad was 42 when we were born. It was gross having an older dad than everyone else. Too, it is selfish. You won't be around for your grandkids. Why not adopt a child who needs parents and is already here?

My cousin had triplets at age 41. Then she had a stroke at 51. Bit of a strain for the father.

Some people are too old at 35. Some are too old at 40. Some are too old at 45. It depends on YOU! If you feel energetic and happy and in good health, then go for it. If you are already tired, then no. I know 40 year old moms who are more active with their kids than 20some year old moms. In my case, my dad was still running several miles day through his mid 60's He was way more active and fun than most of my friends' parents. but my uncle was in a nursing home by the time he was 58 (hard life). So others can't tell you what's too old. You and your husband are the only ones who can really answer that

I had my one and only at 39. And I would say that you are not too old at 41. I think mid-late 40s starts to get too old. But obviously everyone has their own opinion and story.

I had my one and only at 40. Would have liked to had her a little younger and had another but life didn't work out that way. My energy level as a mother was never really a problem, but dealing with other family issues, specifically the health issues and deaths of 3 of our older parents while raising a young child was, indeed, difficult at times.

Still, looking back, she was definitely worth it. I'll be the older mom at h.s. graduation soon and couldn't be prouder.

I had my first when I was 20, and my 2nd when I was 35. My 2nd is now 10 1/2. I noticed it was not as easy to cope with a lack of sleep with the 2nd; that seemed to be the major difference for me. I think if you are healthy and are able to maintain a healthy & energetic lifestyle, don't let age hold you back.

1:34 thanks for your perspective from the other side, I found it really helpful and insightful. (This is OP).

Kid’s perspective. Mom was 40 and Dad was 45 when I was born.

Things I remember...

I knew/realized they were older, especially in the town where I grew up where older parents were quite uncommon. But age, in and of itself, did not seem to matter regarding day-to-day parenting.

My mom and dad had a terrible marriage; mom was deeply depressed and unhappy. However, I don't think their age impacted that based on reports from my much older siblings.

Had a wonderful relationship with my dad. I did always worry that he was "older," and that he would die “too soon.” (I was a worrier as a kid and still am.) Got really pissed a few times when I was young and people thought he was my grandpa. But in the grand scheme of parental relationships, I don't think these things were a big deal.

My dad died when I was 28. It was crushing and awful. I still miss him 12 years later. I wish he met my kids. But I wouldn't change who my dad was for anyone, and I certainly don't begrudge that he had me later in life. I'm so, so, so thankful for the 28 years I had with him.

At the end of the day if you love your kids while you are here, and give them the support and structure they need, I honestly don’t think 25 v. 35 v. 45 matters.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Baby at 41 means you are 60 when child graduates HS.

So what?

Ditto. My dad had already retired by the time I graduated college. Big whoop. (He did retire fairly young, 55, but still).

So there's a big difference between being 55 at your child's college graduation and being 60 at high school graduation. About 10 years difference actually.

So what?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Baby at 41 means you are 60 when child graduates HS.

So what?

Ditto. My dad had already retired by the time I graduated college. Big whoop. (He did retire fairly young, 55, but still).

So there's a big difference between being 55 at your child's college graduation and being 60 at high school graduation. About 10 years difference actually.

I had my first at 27 and my second at 31. A good friend of mine met her husband later in life than I did and had her children at 39 and 42. I remember her, referring to a family member considering having children, saying "There's no way I'd be having a baby at 42!". Yet, she did do it! She got pregnant naturally and looks about 10 years younger than she is so I'm not sure she's any more tired than I am. So much of it depends on YOU. There are way too many factors to consider that you can't list on this type of forum. As another poster pointed out, Dads do this.....my Dad as 40 when I was born. A friend my age just had a baby with her 45-year-old husband and I OFTEN see men who appear to be in their 50s at my daughter's Elementary School.

Would it maybe have been easier physically to have kids earlier? Maybe. Does it matter now? No.

There are millions of men who become fathers at age 41.

I had my first at 41 and my second at 43. Totally worth it! There are times that I do feel older, but I do have friends around my age with kids around the same age as my kids. For us, the problem is that our parents are not really able to help out as they did for my siblings, too old and sick. But, I am so happy I have my kids!

No. I did it. Naturally conceived. No problems. No issues. Also, because most parents in private schools are wealthy and waited to have children, I've never felt "older" than the other parents. Go for it. But only if YOU want it.

It would be for me. I'd also be way too nervous about all the possible birth defects.