Anonymous
Post 01/30/2013 15:34     Subject: Am I a Tiger Mom?
I think it's great that you're spending time with your kids on enriching activities, but personally, I plan to spend that time on more creative/character-building activities/life-skills, instead of just academics. So things like music lessons, helping with chores, cooking dinner, outdoors skills (Scouting, map reading, etc), and volunteering. I see my role as a mother more as instilling good values and character and providing a rich cultural environment. I'm happy to leave the content of academics to DS's teachers.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2013 13:46     Subject: Re:Am I a Tiger Mom?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do the kids of Tiger moms have to have high IQs. So, can you be a Tiger mom to an average or below average kid? Does Tiger mom's IQ also matter?


The philosophy of the Tiger Mom is that IQ's don't matter, hard work does. In Asia there isn't an obsession over your kids' IQ or being classified as gifted. It is all about where you rank academically in your class. If you work hard enough you won't be below average.


How can that be? If everyone worked hard, the naturally smarter ones would rank higher.



This is true. But we're in the U.S. where there seems to be an aversion for parents pushing their kids to work hard. So those that do, tend to have kids that perform above average.


The flip side is for some Asian (Tiger) parents is that as long as the kid is ranked #1 (or #2), they can do whatever. My Asian parents never read to us, never limited TV/electronics, never drilled us. Basically we could do whatever as long as we brought home the grades (and play the piano). They did not supplement/coached but they nagged alot.

Must have worked since we all went Ivy (and Hopkins at 14) nevertheless with watching tons of TV and never being read to
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2013 13:16     Subject: Am I a Tiger Mom?
How many hours a day do they have to be doing directed work in order to build a good worth ethic? Isn't school enough? How does supplementation teach them to problem solve, be creative, learn more complex social skills, work in groups?
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2013 13:09     Subject: Re:Am I a Tiger Mom?
Anonymous wrote:Do the kids of Tiger moms have to have high IQs. So, can you be a Tiger mom to an average or below average kid? Does Tiger mom's IQ also matter?


I'm certainly not a Tiger mom, but I'm of the thinking that my kid's IQ isn't as important as how hard she works and how persistent she is at achieving her goals. I think a good work ethic, and good discipline can go a long way in attaining success. And, I don't just mean success w.r.t. money - she can be a doctor or a garbage woman. Either way, having a good work ethic and a good foundation of knowledge will get her far.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2013 11:43     Subject: Am I a Tiger Mom?
Anonymous wrote:OP, you are WAY FAR from being a tiger mom. Sorry, not qualified!

But what you are doing is GREAT. Keep it up!

I, had my DD learned phonic before 3 yo, able to read 1st gr. story book on her own +violin +piano by 4yo, memorized the complete multiplication table by 2nd grade, no sleep over.

Before anyone scream at me telling me I ruined my DD's childhood. Let me tell you that she enjoys it, WE enjoy it. The key is HOW to do it.

For the phonic part: we went to community park every couple of days, and sang the phonic songs while we played on the swing, the slide: "A says Ah, B says Ba . . . She became able to ready naturally after picking up phonic.

She has been listening to classical music since baby time. (well actually before she was born, technically) Violin and piano appeal to her naturally. She understands Bach and Perlman, but doesn't quite get Bieber (yet). In her mind, piano is a 88 key highly complicated game controller. She LEVEL UP whenever she is able to perform a more advance song.

For Math word problems, whenever she got stuck, I told her to replace all the names to Barney, Dora; objects' name to lollipops; then rethink the questions.

For vacation, instead of Disney, we went to Galapagos, Panda breeding center China, Assisi Italy... she has to write journals.

The point is HOW, keep it fun and interesting.
DD is in 5th gr. now, and we still do things together and enjoy each others company.

Do I consider myself as tiger mom? NO.
I arrange play dates at home (with a handful controlled list of kids). So I am not qualified as well.


I'm the 20:10 poster. Thanks for the specifics. Helpful to have some concrete examples.

I bet she does enjoy it. I think adults get satisfaction from mastering something, and kids probably get that same sense of satisfaction/pride that comes from accomplishing something.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2013 09:06     Subject: Am I a Tiger Mom?
OP, you are WAY FAR from being a tiger mom. Sorry, not qualified!

But what you are doing is GREAT. Keep it up!

I, had my DD learned phonic before 3 yo, able to read 1st gr. story book on her own +violin +piano by 4yo, memorized the complete multiplication table by 2nd grade, no sleep over.

Before anyone scream at me telling me I ruined my DD's childhood. Let me tell you that she enjoys it, WE enjoy it. The key is HOW to do it.

For the phonic part: we went to community park every couple of days, and sang the phonic songs while we played on the swing, the slide: "A says Ah, B says Ba . . . She became able to ready naturally after picking up phonic.

She has been listening to classical music since baby time. (well actually before she was born, technically) Violin and piano appeal to her naturally. She understands Bach and Perlman, but doesn't quite get Bieber (yet). In her mind, piano is a 88 key highly complicated game controller. She LEVEL UP whenever she is able to perform a more advance song.

For Math word problems, whenever she got stuck, I told her to replace all the names to Barney, Dora; objects' name to lollipops; then rethink the questions.

For vacation, instead of Disney, we went to Galapagos, Panda breeding center China, Assisi Italy... she has to write journals.

The point is HOW, keep it fun and interesting.
DD is in 5th gr. now, and we still do things together and enjoy each others company.

Do I consider myself as tiger mom? NO.
I arrange play dates at home (with a handful controlled list of kids). So I am not qualified as well.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2013 08:34     Subject: Re:Am I a Tiger Mom?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do the kids of Tiger moms have to have high IQs. So, can you be a Tiger mom to an average or below average kid? Does Tiger mom's IQ also matter?


The philosophy of the Tiger Mom is that IQ's don't matter, hard work does. In Asia there isn't an obsession over your kids' IQ or being classified as gifted. It is all about where you rank academically in your class. If you work hard enough you won't be below average.



Agree entirely.

The US coddles their kids and tries to justify their actions based on "potential". Tiger Moms/Dads based their actions on actual results.

Bright kids will excel; it's the "middle of the road" kids that benefit best from pushing, IMO.

But most kids simply aren't bright...and if they are, they aren't also motivated. Tiger Mom/Dad provides the "3rd party motivation". LOL
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2013 08:18     Subject: Re:Am I a Tiger Mom?
I knew the original Tiger Mom. She did not need to test IQs. It was obvious. Everyone in the family was VERY bright.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2013 08:18     Subject: Re:Am I a Tiger Mom?
Anonymous wrote:
I do about an hour and half with my 2nd grader each evening. Combo of homework, workbooks, games, computer, flash cards, etc.


Wow. That seems like a lot to me.


Do you have custody of your children?

Or are you a working CEO mom always on the road?
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2013 08:15     Subject: Re:Am I a Tiger Mom?
Do the kids of Tiger moms have to have high IQs. So, can you be a Tiger mom to an average or below average kid? Does Tiger mom's IQ also matter?



Tiger moms and immigrant moms generally are neither enamored nor waste hard earned dollars on assorted IQ test. That past time and preoccupation is left for other moms.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2013 06:27     Subject: Re:Am I a Tiger Mom?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do the kids of Tiger moms have to have high IQs. So, can you be a Tiger mom to an average or below average kid? Does Tiger mom's IQ also matter?


The philosophy of the Tiger Mom is that IQ's don't matter, hard work does. In Asia there isn't an obsession over your kids' IQ or being classified as gifted. It is all about where you rank academically in your class. If you work hard enough you won't be below average.





I'm not Asian, but I'm assuming that Asian moms are no different than any other moms when it comes to assessing their kids' intelligence. Most parents think that their kids have above average intelligence whether that's true or not. Seriously, how many parents of non learning disabled kids think that their children are not capable of earning straight A's if they just worked hard enough?
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2013 06:22     Subject: Re:Am I a Tiger Mom?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do the kids of Tiger moms have to have high IQs. So, can you be a Tiger mom to an average or below average kid? Does Tiger mom's IQ also matter?


The philosophy of the Tiger Mom is that IQ's don't matter, hard work does. In Asia there isn't an obsession over your kids' IQ or being classified as gifted. It is all about where you rank academically in your class. If you work hard enough you won't be below average.


How can that be? If everyone worked hard, the naturally smarter ones would rank higher.



This is true. But we're in the U.S. where there seems to be an aversion for parents pushing their kids to work hard. So those that do, tend to have kids that perform above average.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2013 22:19     Subject: Re:Am I a Tiger Mom?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do the kids of Tiger moms have to have high IQs. So, can you be a Tiger mom to an average or below average kid? Does Tiger mom's IQ also matter?


The philosophy of the Tiger Mom is that IQ's don't matter, hard work does. In Asia there isn't an obsession over your kids' IQ or being classified as gifted. It is all about where you rank academically in your class. If you work hard enough you won't be below average.


How can that be? If everyone worked hard, the naturally smarter ones would rank higher.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2013 22:06     Subject: Re:Am I a Tiger Mom?
Anonymous wrote:Do the kids of Tiger moms have to have high IQs. So, can you be a Tiger mom to an average or below average kid? Does Tiger mom's IQ also matter?


The philosophy of the Tiger Mom is that IQ's don't matter, hard work does. In Asia there isn't an obsession over your kids' IQ or being classified as gifted. It is all about where you rank academically in your class. If you work hard enough you won't be below average.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2013 21:38     Subject: Re:Am I a Tiger Mom?
Do the kids of Tiger moms have to have high IQs. So, can you be a Tiger mom to an average or below average kid? Does Tiger mom's IQ also matter?