My husband golfs every day and plays in tournaments almost every weekend during the summer! We have six kids, including a two-month-old. I've spent years wondering if I was being selfish and unreasonable wanting him to spend more time with us. Now that I have read this I can stop worrying about that . Apparently I'm not selfish, just stupid!!

If you feel it's too much, it's too much. It doesn't matter what works for other families.

My DH golfs, but cut way back last year when our DD was born. Mostly because he wants to spend time with her on the weekends. He'll occasionally take a day off to go golf and sometimes still on the weekends. But he's okay with the fact that golf needs to take a backseat while we have young kids. Once our DD is old enough to go with him, I can't wait to send them BOTH to go golf while I have a mama-day...

A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box. We're leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! And please pack my new blue silk pajamas."

The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy but being a good wife she does exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good.

The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish. He says, "Yes! Lots of Walleye, some Blue gill, and a few Pike. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?"

The wife replies; "I did, they were in your tackle box."

Actually most of what she does, tennis, nights out with friends, etc - are 12 months a year, golf is 6 months but takes more time

We have a great, fair balance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, golf only takes place between April and November at the most - 6 months out of the year.

my wife lets me go when I want and she gets the time to do what she wants.

I would lose my mind if she put a quota on me of, say, twice a month and driving range with advanced notice. Same for her with the things she likes to do.

I play twice most weekends during the summer, and try to be home by noon when I do, but not always. I also take 4-5 trips a year, some or most of those are work related, also hit the range once or twice a week. She takes a few weekends to do the things she wants to do. People run every day or hit the gym every day which I assume equates to 7-8 hours, so I am not sure how that is different than playing golf.



As long as nobody abuses the system and is grateful for the time they get to do other things they like to do, it works. For those of you who are nagging your husband to stay home or limit his golf - get a hobby and get some balance. This has nothing to do with golf and everything to do with balance. Nobody should have to check in, make a list or make sure that everybody has equivalent time away. That would never work for us.

OP - get a hobby even if it's walking on the treadmill, sitting in the sauna, showering followed by reading at Starbucks for an hour or two in the gold "odd-season." \\

If DH gets pissy, ask him for suggestions on how to fix it and relate it to his golfing habit.

should read in the GOLF OFF SEASON.

Anonymous wrote:First, golf only takes place between April and November at the most - 6 months out of the year.

my wife lets me go when I want and she gets the time to do what she wants.

I would lose my mind if she put a quota on me of, say, twice a month and driving range with advanced notice. Same for her with the things she likes to do.

I play twice most weekends during the summer, and try to be home by noon when I do, but not always. I also take 4-5 trips a year, some or most of those are work related, also hit the range once or twice a week. She takes a few weekends to do the things she wants to do. People run every day or hit the gym every day which I assume equates to 7-8 hours, so I am not sure how that is different than playing golf.



As long as nobody abuses the system and is grateful for the time they get to do other things they like to do, it works. For those of you who are nagging your husband to stay home or limit his golf - get a hobby and get some balance. This has nothing to do with golf and everything to do with balance. Nobody should have to check in, make a list or make sure that everybody has equivalent time away. That would never work for us.

OP - get a hobby even if it's walking on the treadmill, sitting in the sauna, showering followed by reading at Starbucks for an hour or two in the gold "odd-season." \\

If DH gets pissy, ask him for suggestions on how to fix it and relate it to his golfing habit.

First, golf only takes place between April and November at the most - 6 months out of the year.

my wife lets me go when I want and she gets the time to do what she wants.

I would lose my mind if she put a quota on me of, say, twice a month and driving range with advanced notice. Same for her with the things she likes to do.

I play twice most weekends during the summer, and try to be home by noon when I do, but not always. I also take 4-5 trips a year, some or most of those are work related, also hit the range once or twice a week. She takes a few weekends to do the things she wants to do. People run every day or hit the gym every day which I assume equates to 7-8 hours, so I am not sure how that is different than playing golf.



As long as nobody abuses the system and is grateful for the time they get to do other things they like to do, it works. For those of you who are nagging your husband to stay home or limit his golf - get a hobby and get some balance. This has nothing to do with golf and everything to do with balance. Nobody should have to check in, make a list or make sure that everybody has equivalent time away. That would never work for us.

My DH does not golf, but when my son was young I was lucky if DH watched him for an hour on the weekend. And he spent lots of his time sleeping or complaining about work. I would have gladly have him doing something that relaxed him. Just ask for some time back in return or if you want family time, be explicit a pit when and what it will be.

Btw, now that my son is older my DH spends lots of time with him. It just took my son getting old enough for my husband to know what to do.

I don't "let" my husband play golf, he just goes and plays. Kind of hard to put a limit on games when you look out the patio door and see everyone playing. My BIL used to play golf a lot and taped golf tournaments to watch when he was away playing. He lived and breathed golf. He even had a side job cleaning clubs and restoring vintage ones.

My sister divorced him.

I hire a sitter one Saturday morning a month. He golfs, I shop or go to the spa. We meet up for lunch later on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that sounds that excessive. A few hours on weekends, plus two other days per month, and one weekend out of the year?

I would just make sure that you also get equal time to do whatever hobby you like, and a "girls weekend" once a year.

I think what's giving OP pause is being left alone with a baby and a toddler for hours on end.

OP's baby and toddler are now a toddler and preschooler.

Pp who didn't think it's excessive here.

I didn't realize someone bumped up an old thread.

Still, I don't think it's unreasonable to be left with a baby and toddler for hours on end. Taking care of your kids is part of being a parent. My husband was active duty military when my kids were younger. I was left with a 4 year old, 2 year old and a newborn (he deployed when the youngest was 3 weeks old) for MONTHS on end. "Hours" is nothing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that sounds that excessive. A few hours on weekends, plus two other days per month, and one weekend out of the year?

I would just make sure that you also get equal time to do whatever hobby you like, and a "girls weekend" once a year.

I think what's giving OP pause is being left alone with a baby and a toddler for hours on end.

OP's baby and toddler are now a toddler and preschooler.

I think each parent should have some time to do their own thing. You need to do this too.

That said, I would feel like your husbands is too much for me. I would be okay with 1 round/week OR a few hours at the range, not both. My husband is not a hard core golfer, but when he does golf he just hits a small bucket the range before he tees off.

One weekend morning each weekend is when he goes golfing.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that sounds that excessive. A few hours on weekends, plus two other days per month, and one weekend out of the year?

I would just make sure that you also get equal time to do whatever hobby you like, and a "girls weekend" once a year.

I think what's giving OP pause is being left alone with a baby and a toddler for hours on end.