We live in Maryland so it was a pretty easy demarcation for us. We would not allow the older ones to drive the younger ones until the provisional licesne period was completed (usually at 18th birthday). The ONLY exception was that the two oldest went to the same school. The older one could drive straight to school and straight home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would wait 6 months to a year except in case of emergency. I would want more experience first.

This is what most of the parents I know, including myself, did. It is just common sense. They need the experience of driving on their own, no other distractions, while they get more road time.

+1 This is similar to what we did. After the first month or two of clean driving we had our oldest son drive his younger brother (14) with him to high school. It was a 10 minute drive with local roads the whole way. We didn't allow him to drive around his 10 yo sister until he had a bit more experience -- maybe another few months?

Don't listen to all of the people trying to read into your intentions here, OP. Listen to your gut and do what you and DH believe is best for you.

OP, I'm a pp and parent of teens who allows them to drive their younger siblings. However, I wanted to add that the driving is only an occasional thing: to get ice cream, to the local park via McDonalds, to soccer practice/game. But I have never relied on or expected the teens to be the primary carpool driver to any school/activity of the younger ones. That, I don't think is a good idea (mostly because I don't think it's fair to the teen, not so much that I'm concerned about their driving). Also, as others have mentioned, make sure DH spends the hours and hours required with the teen driving the car, in all kinds of road/weather conditions, before he gets his license. And to the pps who get distracted by their 6 year olds in the car. Really? I guess you just need to know your kids. Just wanted to throw that in. GL.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but I think if the 16 weren't my husband's son, he'd never allow it.

This seems totally logical. I wouldn't let a random 16 year old drive my 6yo, but I do allow his 16 yo brother to drive him.

Random?!? He is family!

Anonymous wrote:I would wait 6 months to a year except in case of emergency. I would want more experience first.

This is what most of the parents I know, including myself, did. It is just common sense. They need the experience of driving on their own, no other distractions, while they get more road time.

Why don't you first wait until he's got the license, and then go driving with him several times, so you can see how he drives (at least, with you in the car). THEN make the decision. If he's constantly gunning it at yellow lights or stopping with too little space between him and the car in front of him, ask him to work on those issues, because you'd like to feel comfortable giving him more driving opportunities, but can't until you see improvements in those areas.

I just let a high school neighbor drive my elementary kid to sports practice. Here's the thing. Ime not going to let a new driver get on the beltway with one of my kids. But, when you're talking about driving through your neighborhood to the local elementary school, if the kid is responsible enough to have your car, not sure why they can't drive your child. In the alternative, if he is not responsible enough to drive your child, why are you letting him use your car and why are you letting him put himself in danger.

I get distracted by my six year old. have him practice driving with the kid in the car (and you if you want) for shorter trips first.

I would not OP and it has nothing to do with him being a stepson. Some teens (including girls) drive fast as hell. One teen boy I know regularly drives 90+mph (he recently got a reckless driving citation and has to go to court). Not to mention they get distracted because they can't pry themselves away from their iPhones and other gadgets.

I would say give him a 6 month period to adjust to driving. Have him drive you around. Get comfortable with his driving style. Take it from there.

Anonymous wrote:If he isn't responsible enough to drive your son then he shouldn't be driving at all. There are many lives at risk. His own, other drivers, other children, passenger, pedestrians etc...

90% of PPs, including this one, are approaching this whole issue completely differently than I would. I would never in a million years let a newly minted driver drive my young child around, one reason being that young children are themselves a major distraction. Having both of my kids in the backseat yammering at me has nearly caused me to have an accident on more than one occasion, and I'm a safe driver. Totally on OP's side here. It actually scares me that so few responders can understand the concern.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but I think if the 16 weren't my husband's son, he'd never allow it.

This seems totally logical. I wouldn't let a random 16 year old drive my 6yo, but I do allow his 16 yo brother to drive him.

OP, remember, too, that your DSS needs 45 hours of driving with a licensed driver plus (36 hours?) driver's ed plus (12) hours behind the wheel with a professional driver before he can drive alone (I may not have this exactly right, but it's very close to this in VA). So, you'll definitely have a sense of how good a driver he is. I'd also have him drive the school route as much as possible during this learning period. I'm a parent of teens and younger siblings. When the oldest was younger, I wouldn't allow him to drive with a friend's 16 year old. But when DS turned 16, he definitely drove around his younger siblings.

If he isn't responsible enough to drive your son then he shouldn't be driving at all. There are many lives at risk. His own, other drivers, other children, passenger, pedestrians etc...

Wait 6 months or so. Ride with him and check out his driving. Do this in rain, at night, etc. Then decide if you're comfortable with it. You are being a responsible, thoughtful parent to BOTH kids to want to make sure it's safe. If something happened to your DD, it would also ruin DSSs life. I wasn't allowed to ride with teenaged drivers at all, until I was one.

OP here. Thank you for perspectives of last two posts! Just what I was looking for.

It's about a 30 minute drive. No highways, but very congested city streets. Liklihood of accident pretty high, but not a high speed accident.

I think 6 months of clean driving (and some random phone usage checks) might be a good compromise.