Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But I still masturbate and respond to sexual stimuli, even have the ocassional crush and definitely notice attractive men.

Any LD spouse want to chime in?

I think this is key. I used to masturbate every day from age 4-28, and then it tapered off to where it is now: Never. When I touch my clit or nipples, I feel nothing. That can't be anything other than hormonal, right?

(I'm the one about to start testosterone cream.)

I think that "if you don't use it, you lose it" applies here in some instances.
If you're not having sex or in a sexual mode with your partner, you won't necessarily feel the desire to masturbate.
Sex begets stimulation and desire.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who the hell has time for 90 minutes of foreplay on a weeknight? We go up half hour early on sex nights - 30 minutes total for everything. Sheesh.

Cuddling = foreplay? Why can't cuddling be cuddling? Why must EVERY physical interaction lead to intercourse??

Because it feels good. Why do people consistently turn down orgasms?

It feels good for YOU, maybe. For me, it's quite painful. (Nerve damage caused by giving birth. And yes, I have seen doctors, and no, they haven't been able to do much.) I can, and do, get through it... with preparation. But it would be very nice if intimacy and intercourse weren't always linked. Although... with enough more no-pressure intimacy, who's to say what's possible...?

14:00, let me elaborate. My DH has a lower sex drive than I do. If I told him I wanted 90 minutes of foreplay, ideally, before having sex, I'd be in a sexless marriage. He's a sexual camel. Once a month would be fine for him. Would you rather masturbate than have sex with your husband, since you say you still have sexual thoughts, just not particularly about your husband.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who the hell has time for 90 minutes of foreplay on a weeknight? We go up half hour early on sex nights - 30 minutes total for everything. Sheesh.

Cuddling = foreplay? Why can't cuddling be cuddling? Why must EVERY physical interaction lead to intercourse??

Because it feels good. Why do people consistently turn down orgasms?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who the hell has time for 90 minutes of foreplay on a weeknight? We go up half hour early on sex nights - 30 minutes total for everything. Sheesh.

Cuddling = foreplay? Why can't cuddling be cuddling? Why must EVERY physical interaction lead to intercourse??

Speaking as a sex deprived woman, because I don't have enough? If I had sex three or four times a week, I'd be happy to let a caress or cuddle stand on its own.

Anonymous wrote:Who the hell has time for 90 minutes of foreplay on a weeknight? We go up half hour early on sex nights - 30 minutes total for everything. Sheesh.

Cuddling = foreplay? Why can't cuddling be cuddling? Why must EVERY physical interaction lead to intercourse??

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You people are missing the point. She's not choosing to take that long. It is what it is.

Then have sex when you're not fully aroused.

Get your own thread. That you would even make that suggestion shows that you have no idea what people are talking about here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

damn, that's a whole hour and half of "warming up". Poor guy.

What about "Damn, five minutes from hello to hand up the shirt? Poor woman."

I'm a woman. 5 minutes works for me.

You are not 47 though and married to the same man for 17 years. Guaranteed.

I am in fact 47 and married to the same man for 16 years.

Anonymous wrote:You people are missing the point. She's not choosing to take that long. It is what it is.

Then have sex when you're not fully aroused.

Anonymous wrote:You people are missing the point. She's not choosing to take that long. It is what it is.

thank you. I don't know why all the hot-and-heavies are on this thread. This is not about being frigid or high-maintenance. It is, indeed, what it is. And what it is NOT is a lack of attraction.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

damn, that's a whole hour and half of "warming up". Poor guy.

What about "Damn, five minutes from hello to hand up the shirt? Poor woman."

I'm a woman. 5 minutes works for me.

You are not 47 though and married to the same man for 17 years. Guaranteed.

You people are missing the point. She's not choosing to take that long. It is what it is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

damn, that's a whole hour and half of "warming up". Poor guy.

What about "Damn, five minutes from hello to hand up the shirt? Poor woman."

1.5 hrs warm up is just plain stupid. It's 10pm already. You both want to sleep too. Let's get ourselves both satisfied already. 5 minutes too soon for hand up the shirt? Would 10 minutes be OK then?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

damn, that's a whole hour and half of "warming up". Poor guy.

What about "Damn, five minutes from hello to hand up the shirt? Poor woman."

I'm a woman. 5 minutes works for me.

Who the hell has time for 90 minutes of foreplay on a weeknight? We go up half hour early on sex nights - 30 minutes total for everything. Sheesh.