Anonymous
Post 01/26/2013 15:06     Subject: My son likes dolls
what are action figures? oh yea - they're DOLLS too. Let him play with what he wants FFS. If you bend to your "butch ex" you are just teaching your son that bullies win in the end, and bullies get to dictate what he plays with in his own home.
Anonymous
Post 01/22/2013 21:42     Subject: Re:My son likes dolls
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I actually don't really agree that kids don't have the same ideas about gender stereotyped toys as adults. My son is 3 and can easily and correctly identify boy toys vs girl toys. We never told him that certain toys are only for girls or boys, or that it is bad to like certain toys. He just observes what other kids play with.
That being said, if your son likes to play with dolls, I wouldn't worry about it. You can't change what he likes, and you shouldn't make him feel bad about it. If he's gay, that's fine. If he likes dolls, that's fine. You need to let him know that you accept and love him for who he is.


If he can "correctly" identify boy toys vs girl toys than you have somehow reinforce for him that there are certain toys that are correct for certain genders.


And what is so wrong with that?

I have four boys and we all joke that our house is a doll-free zone. They see the girls playing with dolls and princess dresses at school but know that we don't have them at home because "boys live here." What am I supposed to do, go out and buy them Barbies just to satisfy some idiotic notion that children should be encouraged to experiment?


Not the PP - but boys play with dolls too. As I said in an earlier post - boys sometimes grow up to be fathers. Playing with dolls is just another part of role play which is completely normal among the toddler/preschooler set.

You make your home "doll free" because you have boys (which reinforces the idea to them that dolls are "girl toys" but what if your boys did want to play with dolls? or a toy kitchen?

You reinforce the idea that certain toys are for boys only and certain toys are girls only - that comes from adults and their preconceived ideas of what is "right" for each gender. Kids don't have those stereotypes until they learn them from adults.


Maybe true, but again, so what? They are exposed to dolls and kitchens and such at school. If any of my boys ever asked for one... really wanted one, not just a passing fancy ... I'd get it for him. But I certainly don't see the need to suggest it.


So what?

Well, if you don't mind participating in gender stereotyping, I guess you wouldn't see anything wrong with it.


Thank you, but I have far bigger issues on my hands -- not to mention demands on my time -- in raising four boys than worrying about some crazy notion of "gender stereotyping." And according to this logic, I suppose that every time I put on a skirt or lipstick, I am commiting this horrible sin of "gender stereotyping."
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2013 20:35     Subject: Re:My son likes dolls
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I actually don't really agree that kids don't have the same ideas about gender stereotyped toys as adults. My son is 3 and can easily and correctly identify boy toys vs girl toys. We never told him that certain toys are only for girls or boys, or that it is bad to like certain toys. He just observes what other kids play with.
That being said, if your son likes to play with dolls, I wouldn't worry about it. You can't change what he likes, and you shouldn't make him feel bad about it. If he's gay, that's fine. If he likes dolls, that's fine. You need to let him know that you accept and love him for who he is.


If he can "correctly" identify boy toys vs girl toys than you have somehow reinforce for him that there are certain toys that are correct for certain genders.


And what is so wrong with that?

I have four boys and we all joke that our house is a doll-free zone. They see the girls playing with dolls and princess dresses at school but know that we don't have them at home because "boys live here." What am I supposed to do, go out and buy them Barbies just to satisfy some idiotic notion that children should be encouraged to experiment?


Not the PP - but boys play with dolls too. As I said in an earlier post - boys sometimes grow up to be fathers. Playing with dolls is just another part of role play which is completely normal among the toddler/preschooler set.

You make your home "doll free" because you have boys (which reinforces the idea to them that dolls are "girl toys" but what if your boys did want to play with dolls? or a toy kitchen?

You reinforce the idea that certain toys are for boys only and certain toys are girls only - that comes from adults and their preconceived ideas of what is "right" for each gender. Kids don't have those stereotypes until they learn them from adults.


Maybe true, but again, so what? They are exposed to dolls and kitchens and such at school. If any of my boys ever asked for one... really wanted one, not just a passing fancy ... I'd get it for him. But I certainly don't see the need to suggest it.


So what?

Well, if you don't mind participating in gender stereotyping, I guess you wouldn't see anything wrong with it.
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2013 01:01     Subject: My son likes dolls
Just not judy.
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2013 01:01     Subject: My son likes dolls
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Really? You have issues. You sound self hating and don't get the sexuality and gender are unrelated. Gay male here, happily married for 10+ years with two year old twin girls.

They are kids and I let them play with anything that helps them develop. Cars and trucks help their dexterity and teach hem moving parts. A doll helps make believe and imagination. That it is feminine is in your head. Get over it.

I am a happy gay Man. I have no interest in being a woman, nor sleeping with effeminate men. I am attracted to men, not women. That is why I am gay. It has nothing to do with toys. Incidentally I did not play with toys except gi joe till 7 or so. I did boy things. It has nothing to do with my sexuality. Now sleeping with men, that is what makes me gay. It is that simple.


A girl playing with trucks is different than a boy playing with dolls. The girl won't get teased but people will tease the boy. That's just how it is. Some boys can take it but some can't. Also, OP's son is 6 and that's definitely at the age where teasing is happening. That being said, I don't think she should stop him - just prepare him and protect him.

My ten year old still plays with Barbies sometimes. He happens to be one of those kids who knows he gets teased and talked about, but he doesn't care. He figures that's just how he is. But he's really an eccentric kid in many ways and he doesn't get bullied or picked on, just some teasing.


If he's going to be shamed into dropping them it shouldn't be by his parent. At six he will not be branded for life Judy because some first grader saw him playing with dolls.

Don't make him ashamed of himself solely because of what others might think. I'm sure you wouldn't want to be made to feel that way.
Anonymous
Post 01/12/2013 18:18     Subject: Re:My son likes dolls
Those Monster High dolls are cool, let him play.

So what if he end up gay, and if he does, lucky for him he has parents that can help him sort it all out.

Also, definitely keep up with the putting toys away thing...my kids leave their shit all over the house, I wish they would hide their stuff once in a while and get it out of my way!
Anonymous
Post 01/12/2013 18:09     Subject: Re:My son likes dolls
OP, I'm gay and have been married to my husband for 7 years (together for 13), and we have three kids, with one son. I think you need to explore some of your feelings on this, as we've had to do. Why are you so uncomfortable with your son playing with dolls? And what if he does turn out to be gay? Are you concerned that people will point and say that he is gay because he was raised by gay parents?

So what. So what! You know the truth - he is who he is, and that has nothing to do with you. It's in his DNA. You need to step up for him, as you would if he was teased because he had red hair, or if he had a lisp, or if he was shorter than his peers. You need to get over this while he is still young. I think it's a shame that he already knows to put the toys away when company is over. Don't you recall how that felt growing up? That shame endures. Please make some changes in this situation, for your son's sake.
Anonymous
Post 01/12/2013 17:43     Subject: Re:My son likes dolls
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I actually don't really agree that kids don't have the same ideas about gender stereotyped toys as adults. My son is 3 and can easily and correctly identify boy toys vs girl toys. We never told him that certain toys are only for girls or boys, or that it is bad to like certain toys. He just observes what other kids play with.
That being said, if your son likes to play with dolls, I wouldn't worry about it. You can't change what he likes, and you shouldn't make him feel bad about it. If he's gay, that's fine. If he likes dolls, that's fine. You need to let him know that you accept and love him for who he is.


If he can "correctly" identify boy toys vs girl toys than you have somehow reinforce for him that there are certain toys that are correct for certain genders.


And what is so wrong with that?

I have four boys and we all joke that our house is a doll-free zone. They see the girls playing with dolls and princess dresses at school but know that we don't have them at home because "boys live here." What am I supposed to do, go out and buy them Barbies just to satisfy some idiotic notion that children should be encouraged to experiment?


Not the PP - but boys play with dolls too. As I said in an earlier post - boys sometimes grow up to be fathers. Playing with dolls is just another part of role play which is completely normal among the toddler/preschooler set.

You make your home "doll free" because you have boys (which reinforces the idea to them that dolls are "girl toys" but what if your boys did want to play with dolls? or a toy kitchen?

You reinforce the idea that certain toys are for boys only and certain toys are girls only - that comes from adults and their preconceived ideas of what is "right" for each gender. Kids don't have those stereotypes until they learn them from adults.


Maybe true, but again, so what? They are exposed to dolls and kitchens and such at school. If any of my boys ever asked for one... really wanted one, not just a passing fancy ... I'd get it for him. But I certainly don't see the need to suggest it.
Anonymous
Post 01/10/2013 14:41     Subject: Re:My son likes dolls
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I actually don't really agree that kids don't have the same ideas about gender stereotyped toys as adults. My son is 3 and can easily and correctly identify boy toys vs girl toys. We never told him that certain toys are only for girls or boys, or that it is bad to like certain toys. He just observes what other kids play with.
That being said, if your son likes to play with dolls, I wouldn't worry about it. You can't change what he likes, and you shouldn't make him feel bad about it. If he's gay, that's fine. If he likes dolls, that's fine. You need to let him know that you accept and love him for who he is.


If he can "correctly" identify boy toys vs girl toys than you have somehow reinforce for him that there are certain toys that are correct for certain genders.


And what is so wrong with that?

I have four boys and we all joke that our house is a doll-free zone. They see the girls playing with dolls and princess dresses at school but know that we don't have them at home because "boys live here." What am I supposed to do, go out and buy them Barbies just to satisfy some idiotic notion that children should be encouraged to experiment?


Not the PP - but boys play with dolls too. As I said in an earlier post - boys sometimes grow up to be fathers. Playing with dolls is just another part of role play which is completely normal among the toddler/preschooler set.

You make your home "doll free" because you have boys (which reinforces the idea to them that dolls are "girl toys" but what if your boys did want to play with dolls? or a toy kitchen?

You reinforce the idea that certain toys are for boys only and certain toys are girls only - that comes from adults and their preconceived ideas of what is "right" for each gender. Kids don't have those stereotypes until they learn them from adults.
Anonymous
Post 01/09/2013 21:28     Subject: My son likes dolls
Anonymous wrote:My 5 yo son's favorite color is pink! If he wants pink bowls or cups and Dora things I let him have it. I don't think it means anything and if if it does so what?


I once knew a 5/yo kid who wore hot pink sweatpants to school. I asked his mom about it and she said that he picked them out of the catalogue..so she bought them! As far as I know he was and is perfectly fine. Dolls or trucks, straight or gay, your kid is gonna be fine too.
Anonymous
Post 01/09/2013 21:24     Subject: Re:My son likes dolls
Anonymous wrote:
I actually don't really agree that kids don't have the same ideas about gender stereotyped toys as adults. My son is 3 and can easily and correctly identify boy toys vs girl toys. We never told him that certain toys are only for girls or boys, or that it is bad to like certain toys. He just observes what other kids play with.
That being said, if your son likes to play with dolls, I wouldn't worry about it. You can't change what he likes, and you shouldn't make him feel bad about it. If he's gay, that's fine. If he likes dolls, that's fine. You need to let him know that you accept and love him for who he is.


If he can "correctly" identify boy toys vs girl toys than you have somehow reinforce for him that there are certain toys that are correct for certain genders.


And what is so wrong with that?

I have four boys and we all joke that our house is a doll-free zone. They see the girls playing with dolls and princess dresses at school but know that we don't have them at home because "boys live here." What am I supposed to do, go out and buy them Barbies just to satisfy some idiotic notion that children should be encouraged to experiment?
Anonymous
Post 01/09/2013 16:54     Subject: Re:My son likes dolls
I actually don't really agree that kids don't have the same ideas about gender stereotyped toys as adults. My son is 3 and can easily and correctly identify boy toys vs girl toys. We never told him that certain toys are only for girls or boys, or that it is bad to like certain toys. He just observes what other kids play with.
That being said, if your son likes to play with dolls, I wouldn't worry about it. You can't change what he likes, and you shouldn't make him feel bad about it. If he's gay, that's fine. If he likes dolls, that's fine. You need to let him know that you accept and love him for who he is.


If he can "correctly" identify boy toys vs girl toys than you have somehow reinforce for him that there are certain toys that are correct for certain genders.
Anonymous
Post 01/09/2013 12:31     Subject: My son likes dolls
This can't be real.
Anonymous
Post 01/09/2013 01:12     Subject: My son likes dolls
I would think a same-sex couple wouldn't have the gender hang-ups that straight couples do.

He is a kid, let him play with what he wants.
Anonymous
Post 01/08/2013 20:30     Subject: My son likes dolls
Let your kid be himself in his own home. I think that you and your ex are well intentioned about protecting him from teasing, but you need to temper this with just supporting him gay or straight. You know more than anyone that you are what you are and it is not fun trying to "pass". You can set limits around the dolls- in terms of when to take them out. But if he wants to sit in his room and play dollies, give the kid a break.