Yes, OP I have. OMG the fantasies, the dreams.... overwhelming how strong they can be. Luckily for me we work in different cities... met on work trip, and both are Catholic and love our spouses. Focus on negatives, things about him that you know would drive you crazy, farting, pooping, loss of your life if you did anything. It will fade into an occasional fantasy which you can use to get excited and have sex with your husband. Focus on why you chose your husband in the first place. Sometimes it is attraction or sometimes it just seems like you knew each other from a different life. Be friendly, make sure a 3rd person is at any lunch or hh you attend.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again - just want to add that I think he simply wants to pursue a friendship. I am the one having sexual/romantic thoughts. But I don't think I am imagining possible chemistry, which is why continuing to hang out is just not a good idea.

You keep saying what you should do, then do it. End of thread. Go get a hobbie, spend time with your kids, or your husband. You sound desperate and childish. He doesn't want you. You have baggage in your life.

You know what? Fuck you. I came here wondering if anyone else had experienced this. I am not childish or desperate. I am simply someone who has been surprised at thougts that have arisen about someone else. I am sure you are perfect, right? Whoever you are, all I have to say is glass houses, asshole.

DCUM solution- you may want to look into getting a therapist or maybe medication

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again - just want to add that I think he simply wants to pursue a friendship. I am the one having sexual/romantic thoughts. But I don't think I am imagining possible chemistry, which is why continuing to hang out is just not a good idea.

You keep saying what you should do, then do it. End of thread. Go get a hobbie, spend time with your kids, or your husband. You sound desperate and childish. He doesn't want you. You have baggage in your life.

You know what? Fuck you. I came here wondering if anyone else had experienced this. I am not childish or desperate. I am simply someone who has been surprised at thougts that have arisen about someone else. I am sure you are perfect, right? Whoever you are, all I have to say is glass houses, asshole.

Anonymous wrote:OP again - just want to add that I think he simply wants to pursue a friendship. I am the one having sexual/romantic thoughts. But I don't think I am imagining possible chemistry, which is why continuing to hang out is just not a good idea.

You keep saying what you should do, then do it. End of thread. Go get a hobbie, spend time with your kids, or your husband. You sound desperate and childish. He doesn't want you. You have baggage in your life.

OP again - just want to add that I think he simply wants to pursue a friendship. I am the one having sexual/romantic thoughts. But I don't think I am imagining possible chemistry, which is why continuing to hang out is just not a good idea.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The odds of him actually liking and wanting to fuck you is slim to none, so think about that.

I wish that were the case, but I don't think so. There are frequent invites to lunch and after work drinks, hence the need to avoid them. There is chemistry; that is part of my concern.

See, here's the rub. Any dude interested in a married woman....something's off. And don't say he wants no strings attached sex. Please. Dudes fuck over women all the time. If he were that great he'd be banging hot single chics. Sorry. You are idealizing him. Affairs are low hanging fruit for all involved. I don't judge based on morality. I don't care about that. It's low hanging fruit and desperation.

Just to be clear, I don't think he's pursuing me. He is actually dating someone. We are in a small, female dominated workplace; many of the women our age or gossiping backstabbers. So we began to socilize at work b/c we have similar backgrounds, interests, values and sensibilities and b/c neither of us want to eat at our desk every day. Had we met 10 years ago, we may very well have ended up dating b/c there is an easy rapport. I am confident that nothing will happen; he is a decent guy and it is likely that he doesn't think about me that way. I actually hope he doesn't. I wish I didn't think about him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The odds of him actually liking and wanting to fuck you is slim to none, so think about that.

I wish that were the case, but I don't think so. There are frequent invites to lunch and after work drinks, hence the need to avoid them. There is chemistry; that is part of my concern.

See, here's the rub. Any dude interested in a married woman....something's off. And don't say he wants no strings attached sex. Please. Dudes fuck over women all the time. If he were that great he'd be banging hot single chics. Sorry. You are idealizing him. Affairs are low hanging fruit for all involved. I don't judge based on morality. I don't care about that. It's low hanging fruit and desperation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The odds of him actually liking and wanting to fuck you is slim to none, so think about that.

LOL Not the OP, but there are lots of guys like this. Not hard to attract one.

Not hard for OP to have slut tendencies either...

OP here and really? I am a professional woman and mother and barely have time to go out. I dress fashionably but appropriately for my age. You sound defensive and like you are projecting your issues on me. Stop trolling and being nasty.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You described my DH, OP. he's a great dad too. Stop fantasizing and work on your own marriage.

OMG, OP has a crush on your husband!! Your marriage may not be as good as you think, honey!

No, my crush is single, never married, no kids. A fact that baffles me. He'll be a good husband and father one day, of that I'm sure.

To answer PP's question about whether considering that he would never love my kids more than DH helps quell the crush the answer is as a woman not really but as a mother absolutely. I know that doing anything about this crush would, in addition to being a total betrayal of my vows to DH, devastate my children and their trust in me. Satisfying my sexual lust is not worth all the ramifications. But I have been totally surprised and disturbed at how powerful my thoughts (including explicit and arousing dreams) about this man are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The odds of him actually liking and wanting to fuck you is slim to none, so think about that.

LOL Not the OP, but there are lots of guys like this. Not hard to attract one.

Not hard for OP to have slut tendencies either...

Anonymous wrote:You described my DH, OP. he's a great dad too. Stop fantasizing and work on your own marriage.

OMG, OP has a crush on your husband!! Your marriage may not be as good as you think, honey!

Anonymous wrote:Looks like you know what to do, and actually staying away.
So keep staying away from trouble.

He is definately not the man who love your children the most on this planet.

Have you found that statements like this help quell the crush? Just curious, I'm not OP, but honestly I haven't.

Anonymous wrote:The odds of him actually liking and wanting to fuck you is slim to none, so think about that.

LOL Not the OP, but there are lots of guys like this. Not hard to attract one.

Anonymous wrote:Looks like you know what to do, and actually staying away.
So keep staying away from trouble.

He is definately not the man who love your children the most on this planet.

This is true. But it is nice to have a place to get this out and to know others have dealt with this.

Looks like you know what to do, and actually staying away.
So keep staying away from trouble.

He is definately not the man who love your children the most on this planet.