Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM and my husband makes about 300K. What would I be looking at for child support (sine the calculators don't go that high) and would you recommend finding a job before divorcing or waiti g until after it is final?

Thanks

Support issues are very fact specific, often based on the age of the children and the length of the marriage.. I think women usually come out ahead if they secure themselves financially with a job / benefits, but you should consult with an attorney to find out how the law applies to your situation.

Kids are 5 and 2. Marriage is 8 years long. I've also heard that it can make sense to try to stay married for 10 years. Apparently if you've been married 10 years you can collect your spouses SS in the event of his death. Is this true?

Yes, after 10 years you get Social Security based on your husband's earnings.

How difficult it is to get a divorce in Virginia if another spouse (DH) is MIA, moved away to another country and didn't leave an address? I want full custody of our children. DH decided to go back to his old country since he coulnd't "find himself" in the U.S.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM and my husband makes about 300K. What would I be looking at for child support (sine the calculators don't go that high) and would you recommend finding a job before divorcing or waiti g until after it is final?

Thanks

Support issues are very fact specific, often based on the age of the children and the length of the marriage.. I think women usually come out ahead if they secure themselves financially with a job / benefits, but you should consult with an attorney to find out how the law applies to your situation.

Kids are 5 and 2. Marriage is 8 years long. I've also heard that it can make sense to try to stay married for 10 years. Apparently if you've been married 10 years you can collect your spouses SS in the event of his death. Is this true?

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM and my husband makes about 300K. What would I be looking at for child support (sine the calculators don't go that high) and would you recommend finding a job before divorcing or waiti g until after it is final?

Thanks

Support issues are very fact specific, often based on the age of the children and the length of the marriage.. I think women usually come out ahead if they secure themselves financially with a job / benefits, but you should consult with an attorney to find out how the law applies to your situation.

Anonymous wrote:I just found out my husband has been having an affair and want to leave him. I am a non us citizen from Honduras awaiting my green card. We have a young son, 3'y.o. I feel like my situation is very precarious and fear being deported and losing custody of our son if we break up. Where can I get free legal advice in the Philadelphia area? Is there any general advice you can give on this forum?

Call your local county bar association and ask for a referral to an immigration attorney ASAP.

Anonymous wrote:And what do you advise those women with asshole/bully husbands who know they would be in for a custody battle? What should they do to prepare?

The only preparation is to be an active involved primary caretaker, and to document this. Custody is granted to the parent who is more involved in day to day activities. If your child is over age 11, the child's preference also plays a role.

Anonymous wrote:Why is 50/ 50 custody not the starting point in custody discussions (when there are 2 relatively normal sane parents)-- do you see the Courts moving in that direction of 50/50 becoming more the norm?

Courts are definitely moving in that direction, but every case is unique and the custody laws are gender neutral. If both parents are working, there is a strong incentive to discuss joint custody.

Anonymous wrote:If one spouse works in a different city and commutes, and the "home base" (ie kids and property) is in DC, in case of a divorce is there a chance that the commuting spouse can get 1/2 custody of the kids (ie kids are required to live 1/2 the time in the commuting spouse's place of work)?

Extremely unlikely. Custody determinations are based on the best interests of the children, and their need for continued stability. This includes school, social relationships, etc. Shared custody as you describe is very rare, and can only happen if both parties agree to it.

I am a SAHM and my husband makes about 300K. What would I be looking at for child support (sine the calculators don't go that high) and would you recommend finding a job before divorcing or waiti g until after it is final?

Thanks

I just found out my husband has been having an affair and want to leave him. I am a non us citizen from Honduras awaiting my green card. We have a young son, 3'y.o. I feel like my situation is very precarious and fear being deported and losing custody of our son if we break up. Where can I get free legal advice in the Philadelphia area? Is there any general advice you can give on this forum?

And 50/50 custody should not be the starting point pp because the standard is the best interests of the child which is emerald not living one week here one week there, and more about preserving the status quo. Rare is the home where the status quo is 50/50. Rare is the situation where such split lives would benefit rather than severely damage a child.

And what do you advise those women with asshole/bully husbands who know they would be in for a custody battle? What should they do to prepare?

Why is 50/ 50 custody not the starting point in custody discussions (when there are 2 relatively normal sane parents)-- do you see the Courts moving in that direction of 50/50 becoming more the norm?

If one spouse works in a different city and commutes, and the "home base" (ie kids and property) is in DC, in case of a divorce is there a chance that the commuting spouse can get 1/2 custody of the kids (ie kids are required to live 1/2 the time in the commuting spouse's place of work)?

Anonymous wrote:When things with my husband are good, they are great, but when they are bad they are awful. He is one of those types that prides himself on being an asshole at work and believe me, it crosses into the home life. Think Ari Gold. Anything that I can do now to protect myself if it comes to divorce? I have a PT job and make between 40-70k per year, depending.

You don't mention children. I always warn working women with asshole/bully husbands to make sure they don't set themselves up for a custody battle.

On the financial front, keep copies of all financial results records, maintain good credit for yourself. Review your tax returns and stay in the know. You are fortunate to have a job that pays well.

As a woman who has been married for over 20 years, with the knowledge I have from my profession, my advice to you is to always communicate and work to keep intimacy in your marriage if you want it to last. Divorce is not always the answer to happiness. Good luck.