Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also think that there may be a bit of an adjustment curve - not really with gaps of 1 and maybe even 2 years, but longer than that, I know that adjusting from being your own boss (so to speak) as a SAHM to having to adjust to outside demands may be more difficult for some SAHMs than others. I've seen that a few times and now am leary of it. I've had former SAHMs not understand that when a meeting begins at 9, it begins at 9 regardless of whether your LO woke up late or had a rough night or whatever. The common thread I see is that they have become accustomed to their schedules revolving around either their kids or themselves and have difficulties recognizing that in the workforce, schedules don't actually revolve around their families.

I totally agree with this. In addition to the revolving-around-family issue, which PP hits right on the head, it is just hard to get your mind back in the game and focus on a task for 8+ hours if you haven't been doing that. I understand how difficult the transition is and I'm certain there are SAHMs who do behave professionally, but I am still leery of people who have been at home for a long time.

For those who are returning: regardless of whether you stayed connected or whatever, once you have he job it will really help your reputation if you start out by being punctual (including leaving on time, not early) and if you minimize discussion of your kids/family. Sell yourself as a reliable professional first and it will be easier to cut you some slack that one time you have to leave early to cover the carpool.

I'm a SAHM and never half-assed it like that when working. Leaving early was leaving at 6:30 pm. Didn't discussed family at work, and certainly didn't expect a job to revolve around my family. In fact, I couldn't stand the other lawyers (mostly women) who acted as though having a family exempted them from the expectations applicable to others.

Anonymous wrote:I also think that there may be a bit of an adjustment curve - not really with gaps of 1 and maybe even 2 years, but longer than that, I know that adjusting from being your own boss (so to speak) as a SAHM to having to adjust to outside demands may be more difficult for some SAHMs than others. I've seen that a few times and now am leary of it. I've had former SAHMs not understand that when a meeting begins at 9, it begins at 9 regardless of whether your LO woke up late or had a rough night or whatever. The common thread I see is that they have become accustomed to their schedules revolving around either their kids or themselves and have difficulties recognizing that in the workforce, schedules don't actually revolve around their families.

I totally agree with this. In addition to the revolving-around-family issue, which PP hits right on the head, it is just hard to get your mind back in the game and focus on a task for 8+ hours if you haven't been doing that. I understand how difficult the transition is and I'm certain there are SAHMs who do behave professionally, but I am still leery of people who have been at home for a long time.

For those who are returning: regardless of whether you stayed connected or whatever, once you have he job it will really help your reputation if you start out by being punctual (including leaving on time, not early) and if you minimize discussion of your kids/family. Sell yourself as a reliable professional first and it will be easier to cut you some slack that one time you have to leave early to cover the carpool.

^^ are you fifty?

I stayed home for a few years and also had job offers as soon as I put out feelers. Didn't have any difficulty getting hired at all.

I do believe that moms should stay at home with their babies for a while. I personally started working in my profession at 18, going to college at the same time. By mid-20s I had 2 kids and stayed at home with them for several years. Then I went back to school to get my Masters and got hired off campus by one of the largest consulting firms. And have had a very successful career thereafter.

If someone had worked for 10-15 years before having a child, what is a problem to stay with a baby for a couple years, if you already have a strong resume, great skill set and so many professionals in your network? Perhaps if people wait till 40s to have kids and stay at home till they are 50, then it might be hard to get back into the workforce because of the lack of energy, reduced ability to learn new processes, etc. It is hard to raise kids and have a career even when you are 20-30, so of course it gets only harder when a person turns 50.

Any prospective employer that would make a hiring decision soley based on a person's work history (or lack thereof) is an employer that is hardly worth working for in the long run. I would hope that most of those assigned the task of hiring use their brain and some basic intuition and hire based on the specific job candidate and not just on perceptions. In other words, hire the best job candidate. Period. It really should not be any more complicated.

I'm the pp who said that I get slammed. I was referring to the gap not my qualifications. I get the impression the OP has some strange assumptions about SAHMs. I don't expect to get hired if I'm not qualified. But, I do resent an employer putting me at the bottom of her list because of a year gap and a preconceived notion that it diminishes my skills.

But, as one pp said before, women are our own worst enemies.

1910 because PP is like the OP. Jealous and angry that her kid is a stranger to her. So if she can stick it to a mom who got to stay with her baby +1....I didn't get to so boooo to you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:god, women are definitely their own worst enemies.

i have been a SAHM for 4 years and i am itching to go back to work. i already had one interview (before i really started looking) and they could not care less that i had been home for a few years. ultimately, i did not have the exact experience that they were looking for, and it was mutually agreed upon that i was not the right fit.

OP, i can assure you that SAHMs can have a great perspective about going back to work. SAHMs who want to work are just feeling done with being home and ready to focus on a career outside of the home. during out time at home we have also honed skills that can easily be translated into the workplace (i.e., multitasking, putting out fires, managing people and projects). we also have a maturity that "young" men and women will absolutely NOT have.

I hear you but I REALLY REALLY struggled with whether to stay home or not and decided to take an extended maternity leave (8 months instead of 4) and have my dad watch my daughter until I felt she was old enough and I was comfortable enough to send her to daycare at 18 months. I went back to work because we basically lived in the hood and I couldn't raise my child there - we had to move out of the neighborhood, which meant I needed to return to work. Because I made this decision, I unfortunately (whether this is fair or not) have more respect for and would think more highly of a candidate who decided to return to the workforce as opposed to becoming a SAHM. Mind you, I don't think the mom who returns to work is a better PERSON (she may or may not be), I just would consider her a better candidate for the job. Sorry if this sounds harsh.

Huh? so, why does the fact that you had to return to work for financial reasons give you that perspective of SAHMs who stayed home for a few years then reentered the work force BECAUSE THEY WANT TO? someone who is CHOOSING to go back to work has a drive that people who are forced to go back to work do not have.

Anonymous wrote:god, women are definitely their own worst enemies.

i have been a SAHM for 4 years and i am itching to go back to work. i already had one interview (before i really started looking) and they could not care less that i had been home for a few years. ultimately, i did not have the exact experience that they were looking for, and it was mutually agreed upon that i was not the right fit.

OP, i can assure you that SAHMs can have a great perspective about going back to work. SAHMs who want to work are just feeling done with being home and ready to focus on a career outside of the home. during out time at home we have also honed skills that can easily be translated into the workplace (i.e., multitasking, putting out fires, managing people and projects). we also have a maturity that "young" men and women will absolutely NOT have.

I hear you but I REALLY REALLY struggled with whether to stay home or not and decided to take an extended maternity leave (8 months instead of 4) and have my dad watch my daughter until I felt she was old enough and I was comfortable enough to send her to daycare at 18 months. I went back to work because we basically lived in the hood and I couldn't raise my child there - we had to move out of the neighborhood, which meant I needed to return to work. Because I made this decision, I unfortunately (whether this is fair or not) have more respect for and would think more highly of a candidate who decided to return to the workforce as opposed to becoming a SAHM. Mind you, I don't think the mom who returns to work is a better PERSON (she may or may not be), I just would consider her a better candidate for the job. Sorry if this sounds harsh.

Recently completed hiring for 5 attorney positions. I agree 100% with the PP who said that she has cut back to P/T to keep one foot in the door. IMHO, that makes a HUGE difference. Even if you don't have paid work, but can demonstrate how you are keeping up with your profession (through conference attendance, writing article, volunteering professional services) that helps.

The reality is that it is an incredibly competitive legal market. When you have the choice between someone who is currently in a F/T job with relevant experience and someone who has been out of the legal workforce for 1+ years, it is very hard to take the leap on the SAHM (or SAHD).

That said, I do think the length of gap on resume makes a difference (shorter the better). A multi-year (3+ year) gap is hard to overcome.

god, women are definitely their own worst enemies.

i have been a SAHM for 4 years and i am itching to go back to work. i already had one interview (before i really started looking) and they could not care less that i had been home for a few years. ultimately, i did not have the exact experience that they were looking for, and it was mutually agreed upon that i was not the right fit.

OP, i can assure you that SAHMs can have a great perspective about going back to work. SAHMs who want to work are just feeling done with being home and ready to focus on a career outside of the home. during out time at home we have also honed skills that can easily be translated into the workplace (i.e., multitasking, putting out fires, managing people and projects). we also have a maturity that "young" men and women will absolutely NOT have.

Pp here ... And if she only took 1 year off I would not consider her any differently than any candidate. I would just be jealous at her long maternity leave there's an argument that taking a year to focus on your kid might make you a better employee when you get back, instead of having to struggle with working with an infant - pumping, sleep deprivation ...

If they had only been out 3 or fewer years, I would judge them the same as anyone else with a similar experience level. My field (law/advocacy) does not really depend on skills that will decay in just a few years. The important stuff would not go away in 3 years at home. And now that I am a mom myself, I totally understand why even the best most brilliant employee would want to take a few years off, and I would not begrudge her that. But if it had been a really long time, like 5 or 7 years, that's tougher. Not impossible, but she would have to be really smart.

So strange. I've been a SAHM for years. I have been offered two well-paying, professional jobs in the last six months. I'm not even looking.