You should have emailed the teacher beforehand if you had specific concerns for your child. There is no way teacher can take all possible needs into consideration after the fact.

Anonymous wrote:Our teacher sent us an email Sunday evening citing how she planned to handle class on Monday and what she would do if the children (K) asked questions. This gave parents the opportunity to either talk to our children or to provide feedback to her. I love my kids class and our parents. Turns out not one of us felt the need to share the incident with our children and the topic didn't come up yesterday.

Our teacher and principal did the same thing. Principal sent an email around that the teachers would not bring it up unless one of the kids did and then if they did, the school and especially the guidance counsel were prepared. I did not tell my Pre-K child and do not believe it came up yesterday. Am hoping it did not come up again today.

I actually sent my teacher an email telling her that we had not told our second grader, but that if it came up at school, I trusted her to handle it tactfully.

I couldn't help if another child told my child, but I trust our school to handle the situation. They were prepared for it.

My husband is in his first year as a teacher, and they had a morning meeting yesterday on how to handle it if it came up.

Anonymous wrote:OP again - I have let it go. I had no intention of bringing this up with ANYONE other than this anonymous forum. Obviously this shooting brings up my own cr*p and my reaction is complicated by personal things and has nothing to do with how I feel about DS's teacher - I do respect her a great deal and upon reflection am sure she handled things perfectly.

Man, I wish I could delete this thread - I posted before I thought it through.

Don't worry, OP. You know that people will write based on your opening statement before they get a chance to read down to your later statements.

Our teacher sent us an email Sunday evening citing how she planned to handle class on Monday and what she would do if the children (K) asked questions. This gave parents the opportunity to either talk to our children or to provide feedback to her. I love my kids class and our parents. Turns out not one of us felt the need to share the incident with our children and the topic didn't come up yesterday.

Thankfully, as parents and teachers, we do not have much practice or a template for dealing with something as monstrous as the Newtown shootings. This is an area that teachers need to be given lots of leeway, they may not handle it well or how we would like, but it is hard to imagine that they are not well intentioned, keeping in mind the shootings occurred at a school where several teachers died protecting their students. It also seems clear that it is impossible to shield children (other than very young perhaps) from the news, given the media and social media coverage.

Anonymous wrote:You can't censor everything that your child is exposed to at school. I'm sure the teacher told the kids a minimal amount. I don't see any cause for alarm.

Why is this world so afraid of reconizing that people die? It's as much a taboo as sex (or perhaps moreso!). I'm of the opinion that you tell children in limited ways about the good and bad of the world. It's life. If they are capable of asking about it, they are capable of getting an age-appropriate, but truthful answer.

Gee, nobody said they don't want their kids to know that people die. But we might not want, say, our 6 year-olds to know that other 6 year-olds were murdered at their school. Do you not see the difference?

I agree with the teacher. If the question was publicly asked then she's put in the unfortunate position of having to respond to it. And the even more unfortunate position of being the first adult to tell your kid about it.
I told my elementary aged child because I wanted her to be prepared if she heard about it yesterday. I wept as I told her. I apologized for possibly scaring or upsetting her and told her it was REALLY unlikely anything like this would ever happen at her school

I also told her about hiding under her desk and playing dead. That is the world we live in.

She handled it OK.

K parent. After talking to other parents and the teacher, we opted not to tell DC. Everyone was prepared to address it if it came up but I felt DC was too young to understand and I didn't want to preemptively mention just because someone might bring it up in school.

We got through Monday without it coming up. Who knows what today will bring?

It was fine to post it, OP. I think it's great that you posted, got feedback and came to a conclusion. You won't be firing off hysterical emails to the teacher or principal; in fact, if you see her you could offer a note of support for how she handled it. So no harm done. And maybe others learned something from your thread.

OTOH, a teacher my child had several years ago showed some youtube footage in the class of the twin towers around a 9/11 anniversary. Unfortunately she showed the video (unintentionally I think) of people jumping. This was to 3-4th graders. Not appreciated.

Anonymous wrote:With all due respect OP, you had the whole weekend to address it. I think the teacher absolutely needed to say something if another child was asking. The kids would have talked about it and who knows what else your child would have heard from the other kids. If your child is that sensitive, act faster next time.

If a child asked -- brought it up -- then it was in front of the class anyway. Teacher had to say something. Not doing so would likely have been far worse.

OP again - I have let it go. I had no intention of bringing this up with ANYONE other than this anonymous forum. Obviously this shooting brings up my own cr*p and my reaction is complicated by personal things and has nothing to do with how I feel about DS's teacher - I do respect her a great deal and upon reflection am sure she handled things perfectly.

Man, I wish I could delete this thread - I posted before I thought it through.

NP here. OP, if you love and respect your teachers, let it go. Sometimes you have to choose your battles or you will end up being a hinderance to the system when you in fact think you are a "help".

My friend lives in a neighborhood like this. There happens to be mostly SAHMs (not a in and of itself a bad thing, but too much of anything can be); and there are complaints at every turn about every little thing. "too much this, too much that..." "So and so doesn't do things OUR way...." is essentially what they are saying without admitting it. They clearly have serious control (among many other glaring) issues. I have heard the administration at their school does not respect those kind of parents (friend is involved in a way most people are not - better than a PTA or board position, but I don't wish to say any more).

I can see how some people have too much time on there hands and become a serious headache more than anything else. Know what to let go.