It has not come up at school for my 6yo. I've checked every day. I'm not obsessed with hiding it from her (though I've been hiding the front page of the Post ever since), but I don't feel like it will help for me to tell her first.

They were still talking about it today in my kids' school, but that's probably because they had a practice red alert drill (lockdown I guess).

My 5th grader and 3rd grader have been out of school this week and haven't heard about it yet. We don't have TV and they are not likely to see anything about it online. Should we tell them at this point? The fifth grader is an anxious child generally, and I fear this news will cause a lot of worry. They will go back to school tomorrow. Are kids still talking about it? Should I prepare them?

I told 7 DS, not wanting him to hear it first somewhere else. he came home from school Monday having heard lots of gruesome details, so I am glad we said something beforehand.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't plan to tell my almost 7yo, and maybe I'm being naive, but I don't expect it to be a major topic of conversation.

I agree. I am not going to tell my 7 yo either. If my parents told me about every tragedy that happened during my childhood, I would probably be a basket case right now.

Exactly. I didn't tell either of our kids, ages 7 and 9. And they didn't hear about it from school. Newspapers -- I've been hiding the front section and the metro section. TV -- they are only allowed on kids' channels, and I don't watch in front of them.

And school -- I was so relieved when the school sent an email out saying that they WEREN't going to say anthing, and that MANY parents had emailed asking for them not to talk about it. AND they said that if your kid knows about it, TO NOT TALK ABOUT IT TO OTHER KIDS. This is a public school.

REally, do we tell them every time a kid is kidnapped, etc.? No. So why tell them this?

I chose not to talk about it with my 7 year old. I bet it may have come up for 1 or 2 sentences in his home based after care program with some older elementary school kids, but he did not talk about it or mention it. I think we escaped without having to talk about it.

Now, we are going to CT for Christmas a few towns away from Newtown, and I'm wondering if I should tell him before he starts talking about it with his 6 year old cousin. My family is the type to talk in mock-whispers and act like their not talking in front of the kids, but of course kids that age can hear them. Probably will have to bring it up somehow.

Well, I did not discuss it as I thought that it would not be talked about and my kids came home knowing all about it yesterday. Oops, I dropped the ball on that one. Anyway, we had a nice talk and the events didn't make a big impact on my kids, which I found surprising as they are both empathetic people. Anyway, fortunately they are not scarred. Maybe because it is so far away? They didn't even mention it again after our talk.

I did not tell my 7 year old about it but did discuss it briefly with my 10 year old. If my 7 year old brings it up I will answer her questions but not make a big deal out of it.

I agree as well. We were at a number of events this weekend, and no one was talking about it. Kids were talking about Christmas, Santa, and favorite tv shows.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told my 7 yr old today b/c I know he will hear about it on Monday from other kids. He isn't an overly anxious kid so it isn't something he is going to dwell on.

+1

Someone in his class will be talking about it. I'd rather have DS hear it from me.

I don't agree with this. While a weekend is a blink of an eye for us adults, for kids it is a long time. I believe that something that happened on Friday will not be discussed by 6-8 year olds at school on Monday. They had a whole weekend of other events that will feel more recent or immediate that they are more likely to talk about. That said, I plan to gently probe my kids tonight to see if anything was said and if so, I will address it then.

I agree with this. We did not tell our 7 and 5 year olds (2nd grade and K students).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told my 7 yr old today b/c I know he will hear about it on Monday from other kids. He isn't an overly anxious kid so it isn't something he is going to dwell on.

+1

Someone in his class will be talking about it. I'd rather have DS hear it from me.

I don't agree with this. While a weekend is a blink of an eye for us adults, for kids it is a long time. I believe that something that happened on Friday will not be discussed by 6-8 year olds at school on Monday. They had a whole weekend of other events that will feel more recent or immediate that they are more likely to talk about. That said, I plan to gently probe my kids tonight to see if anything was said and if so, I will address it then.

Nope.

Anonymous wrote:I told my 7 yr old today b/c I know he will hear about it on Monday from other kids. He isn't an overly anxious kid so it isn't something he is going to dwell on.

+1

Someone in his class will be talking about it. I'd rather have DS hear it from me.

OP here. I went ahead and told our 7 year old. I didn't go into too much detail: just said a terrible thing happened in a distant town and several children died. He asked no questions and seemed relieved that he wasn't in trouble for something he had done. I guess that all the gravity surrounding the conversation had alarmed him. I don't intend to bring the subject up with him again unless he asks.

I told my 7 YO, very briefly, to explain why we weren't listening to the radio and why I had taken the front page of the paper (because it's upsetting, and he doesn't need to have it shoved in his face, but he can ask me questions and I will answer them).

He's asked one question so far -- why would someone do that? Which is, of course, the one for which there are no good answers.