Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has been suggested in my family but I am opposed. I don't care if I don't get gifts but I do love giving them. Yes, it IS extra work and money and it can be stressful, but its so worth it. To me, giving is just part of what makes Christmas special. I am not a fan of the gift-free "adult" Christmas. Some people sincerely want a return to a religious holiday, but really, for most they just want to do it to make their life easier. It feels selfish to me.

YOUR attitude feels selfish to me.

Uh, why? Because I like to give gifts?

My in laws are like you. So annoying. Moat everyone is trying to de-crap their lives then people come along and give more "gifts" for the landfill. I think ot rude when people like you insist on giving me more shit when i specifically as them to stop.

In some ways I'd be happy to skip, other than my mom. My mom and I put a lot of thought into our gifts for each other, and I love knowing I've found the "right" thing. My brother and I, on the other hand, seem to be trading pointless gifts (e.g. Amazon card for Amazon card or trading links for items we both need) and it's just silly.

But I also have the only grandchild, and I worry about having a Christmas morning where he's the only one getting gifts. It seems like there's too much focus on him at Christmas anyway, and a situation where he gets but doesn't give gifts seems unhealthy. I'm not sure I'm making sense, but until I figure it out we'll probably keep giving.

We stopped doing major gifts from my family last year and it was great! I am repeating the tradition this year. We do stockings only for adults -- which everyone enjoys. This way I can buy fun things for my nephew and my daughter. We still buy gifts for MIL bc she is alone -- but we cut way back so she doesn't feel the need to reciprocate. So I buy her stocking presents, one gift under the tree (usually clothing), and we take her out for an afternoon -- lunch and a Christmas show somewhere in the area.

Do the no gift posters only skip gifts at Christmas and/or with family or have you stopped giving gifts to everyone, for any reason?

We do a gift exchange for adults where each adult picks the name of one other adult and only buys for that person. This way everyone has something to open on Christmas, but we don't have to go overboard with buying presents for adults. It has worked well for many years. We also have a few edible items wrapped up under the tree (i.e. each woman (and a few of the men) makes a special kind of cookies) and we let my dad (who plays the role of gift-passer-outer) hand each package to someone to open. We all oh and ah at the cookies and then eat them later in the day. It makes the gift-giving seem less kid-focused without actually leading to the adults having to take home lots of stuff that will clutter up their lives.

Adult gift giving can be such a waste of money. And it really brings out the differences in incomes, budgeting and so on. We stopped doing it a few years ago and it has been much nicer. We are adults -- we don't need a gift!

Anonymous wrote:My family has never exchanged gifts with any non-children. It's not an official rule, just something that we've never done. I was 13 when I last got a Christmas present from anyone. My mom gave me a VCR. My little sister kept getting gifts, but mine just stopped. Then she turned 13. My mother took her to a concert for Christmas and then she stopped getting stuff. We kept putting up a tree, but the presents underneath were for our younger cousins.

Sad

We do Harry & David for our adult siblings and cash for their kids (usually with a silly little $1 toy from Target). We also give cash to DH's parents every month and at Christmas we up it. For my parents we do gifts because they spoil our kids and if we didn't send them something, they would not get anything at all (all their relatives are dead) and that just breaks my heart. DH and I only ever spend for ourselves at Christmas too, so we give each other clothes and practical items. We could probably buy these things at other times of the year but it's more fun to have presents to open. Plus, it's easier to avoid the want-vs-need trap if you only spend on each other/yourself once a year.

I don't get why it would be weird not to give gifts from the perspective of the children. We don't give adult gifts but instead give to charity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has been suggested in my family but I am opposed. I don't care if I don't get gifts but I do love giving them. Yes, it IS extra work and money and it can be stressful, but its so worth it. To me, giving is just part of what makes Christmas special. I am not a fan of the gift-free "adult" Christmas. Some people sincerely want a return to a religious holiday, but really, for most they just want to do it to make their life easier. It feels selfish to me.

YOUR attitude feels selfish to me.

Huh. We replaced adult gifts with giving more to charity. We actually aren't religious at all, but I still can't wrap my head around how overconsumption is part of the Christmas spirit. Our family isn't filthy rich, but we can generally buy ourselves the things we want. Now we can focus on spending time together and enjoying each others' company.

My siblings and I have had a no gift pact for since at least age 14. None of us wanted the others to spend money us. We are all successful adults but still do not exchange gifts. My parents are proud that we discussed it and agree. My in laws are outraged and beside themselves at our pact since they view the gift exchange as meaning that you care about someone (such a ridiculous position). We have given gifts for big events, such as grad school graduation and first home purchase. Even then, we make a pact to do this for everyone, not just one person ( we all have multiple degrees and a home). I find this approach to be way less stressful.

Can we all agree as adults that we should just skip,giving each other gifts altogether? Why limit the no gift policy to just Christmas? Ler's cut out birthdays and weddings and showers, too. It really would make life so much simpler if we could just not worry about gifts at all. Or cards too, for that matter. Let's just f--k all of it. It would be SOOO much nicer and less stressful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has been suggested in my family but I am opposed. I don't care if I don't get gifts but I do love giving them. Yes, it IS extra work and money and it can be stressful, but its so worth it. To me, giving is just part of what makes Christmas special. I am not a fan of the gift-free "adult" Christmas. Some people sincerely want a return to a religious holiday, but really, for most they just want to do it to make their life easier. It feels selfish to me.

YOUR attitude feels selfish to me.

Uh, why? Because I like to give gifts?

Anonymous wrote:This has been suggested in my family but I am opposed. I don't care if I don't get gifts but I do love giving them. Yes, it IS extra work and money and it can be stressful, but its so worth it. To me, giving is just part of what makes Christmas special. I am not a fan of the gift-free "adult" Christmas. Some people sincerely want a return to a religious holiday, but really, for most they just want to do it to make their life easier. It feels selfish to me.

YOUR attitude feels selfish to me.

This has been suggested in my family but I am opposed. I don't care if I don't get gifts but I do love giving them. Yes, it IS extra work and money and it can be stressful, but its so worth it. To me, giving is just part of what makes Christmas special. I am not a fan of the gift-free "adult" Christmas. Some people sincerely want a return to a religious holiday, but really, for most they just want to do it to make their life easier. It feels selfish to me.