Anonymous
Post 01/30/2014 23:23     Subject: childcare costs and jobs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is a very anti-SAHM board OP so you are unlikely to get a balanced answer. Many women would not want to be at home with their kids regardless of income threshhold. You need to make the decision that is right for you. There are benefits to being at home for some people. A reduction in stress, more family time, less chaotic mornings and evenings, greater influence in raising children, spending more time with the kids...depending on your view there can be positive mental health and relational outcomes as well. You need to weigh what the benefits to you would be against the priority you place on wealth and climbing the corporate ladder.


I'm not anti-SAHM for women who have more potential to contribute to society through child raising than paid work, but yeah, for highly educated and skilled women, it does seem like a waste.


You would hate me. I left a $300k/year job to SAHM. Oh well. We (my husband and I) are happy with our decision.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2014 23:19     Subject: childcare costs and jobs
I left to SAH for six months and then returned part-time evenings. So we tag team parenting. It makes for a busy schedule but less so than if we were both out of house. Part time makes back the other half of the salary which is put almost entirely into retirement for me. I'm also confident I could return to full time work almost immediately if necessary. DH has very stable fed job.

If you can afford to, you can probably take a short term leave of absence in any field any return if it doesn't work out after a couple of months. Teaching and nursing are easier to return to and pick up part-time work in than some other fields.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2014 17:05     Subject: childcare costs and jobs
Anonymous wrote:Here is my experience. I chose to say home when my twins were 5 months old. I left a 6 figure medical sales position. At the time I had been in my sales career for 11 years. My husband has an even better career in finance for a fortune 50 company. We also made his decision in February 2009 when at the time layoffs were the norm. Our plan was to sah until the boys were at least 3 but if we could get them to KG we would before I returned to work. So how did everything work out. Great actually. My husband says now that he felt really proud and a good provider during the time I was home. At the time I left my position, everyone said I was crazy to ggive up my position, but I felt the crazy decision was to continue working ft. The kicker is this fall I got an offer with another great company, same industry making more money and great future growth. My career didn't suffer at all like most will tell you on this board, it actually wouldn't be any different if I continued working. In total I was home 4 years with my boys, they went to 1/2 day preschool 3 days a week last year and this year are doing great at their full time pre k class. Financially our income of course was down for those four years, but we just cut back expensese, but net worth wise we did just fine. What I miss the most is the flexibility we enjoyed with me not working. It allowed us to take some great family vacations during those years. So yes we did it, no family close by, no nannies, I have great memories of the boys early years, and would not make the choice to continue working if I could do it over again. Everyone circumstances are different, marriages are all unique, personal goals vary etc. I just wanted to offer my story to let other families see that real people do still choose to stay home. It is not always about the money people.


Your career is all about cash, though, not career progression up the ladder or working on public interest issues.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2014 17:00     Subject: Re:childcare costs and jobs
Anonymous wrote:Was in a similar situation and I decided it wasn't worth it for me to continue to work. I couldn't justify spending over half of my salary for some one else to take care of my dc. At times, we have to make sacrifices but nothing major, and we know this is temporary and we will be able to enjoy certain "luxuries" when I return to work in a few years. Also my husband and I made the decision that 2-4 years of having only one income to contribute to retirement accounts will not impact us that significantly, considering I would not have been able to contribute all that much while I was working and paying for childcare. You really just have to think about what is best for your family, how easy it will be to re-enter the work force, and what you think you will need as a woman/wife/mom to stay balanced.


So it's real easy for you to reenter the workforce when you're ready?
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2014 16:56     Subject: childcare costs and jobs
Anonymous wrote:This is a very anti-SAHM board OP so you are unlikely to get a balanced answer. Many women would not want to be at home with their kids regardless of income threshhold. You need to make the decision that is right for you. There are benefits to being at home for some people. A reduction in stress, more family time, less chaotic mornings and evenings, greater influence in raising children, spending more time with the kids...depending on your view there can be positive mental health and relational outcomes as well. You need to weigh what the benefits to you would be against the priority you place on wealth and climbing the corporate ladder.


I'm not anti-SAHM for women who have more potential to contribute to society through child raising than paid work, but yeah, for highly educated and skilled women, it does seem like a waste.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2014 16:51     Subject: childcare costs and jobs
Anonymous wrote:Is there a certain income you have to earn over your childcare costs to make it worthwhile for you to continue working? In my case care costs a little over half of my income and about a quarter of our HHI and I am seriously tempted to quit.


Not really. I made $100,000 when my first child was born, and childcare was about $8500 a year.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2014 16:32     Subject: childcare costs and jobs
Anonymous wrote:Is there a certain income you have to earn over your childcare costs to make it worthwhile for you to continue working? In my case care costs a little over half of my income and about a quarter of our HHI and I am seriously tempted to quit.


I'm reading this as you and DH both making about the same amount (if half your income is a quarter of your household's). Unless you're both making a lot of money, I would be hesistant to quit. In our case, we definitely still need that cash that would be "left" if you just subtracted daycare from my income, not to mention my health insurance and employer retirement contributions.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2014 16:22     Subject: childcare costs and jobs
Anonymous wrote:Here is my experience. I chose to say home when my twins were 5 months old. I left a 6 figure medical sales position. At the time I had been in my sales career for 11 years. My husband has an even better career in finance for a fortune 50 company. We also made his decision in February 2009 when at the time layoffs were the norm. Our plan was to sah until the boys were at least 3 but if we could get them to KG we would before I returned to work. So how did everything work out. Great actually. My husband says now that he felt really proud and a good provider during the time I was home. At the time I left my position, everyone said I was crazy to ggive up my position, but I felt the crazy decision was to continue working ft. The kicker is this fall I got an offer with another great company, same industry making more money and great future growth. My career didn't suffer at all like most will tell you on this board, it actually wouldn't be any different if I continued working. In total I was home 4 years with my boys, they went to 1/2 day preschool 3 days a week last year and this year are doing great at their full time pre k class. Financially our income of course was down for those four years, but we just cut back expensese, but net worth wise we did just fine. What I miss the most is the flexibility we enjoyed with me not working. It allowed us to take some great family vacations during those years. So yes we did it, no family close by, no nannies, I have great memories of the boys early years, and would not make the choice to continue working if I could do it over again. Everyone circumstances are different, marriages are all unique, personal goals vary etc. I just wanted to offer my story to let other families see that real people do still choose to stay home. It is not always about the money people.


Hi, I really enjoyed reading your story. I am in Government consulting and I went part time 7 yrs ago when I decided to start a family. Now that I am re entering the work force as a full time employee, I would like to make a career change to the medical sales arena. I realize that I will have to start at the bottom and take a pay cut, however I believe my experience and knowledge in client handling and business development will only be an asset as I begin a new career path. Would you be able to share and tips or advice as to how I can make this transition? I would be more than happy to speak with you via email if you prefer. Thanks in advance for your time.
Anonymous
Post 11/25/2012 21:24     Subject: childcare costs and jobs
Anonymous wrote:Is there a certain income you have to earn over your childcare costs to make it worthwhile for you to continue working? In my case care costs a little over half of my income and about a quarter of our HHI and I am seriously tempted to quit.


What about factoring in retirement savings/employer contribution? Health insurance? Future raises?
Anonymous
Post 11/24/2012 22:18     Subject: childcare costs and jobs
If you want your kids to be anti-social, clingy and unable to count to 20 in Spanish or 50 in English then by all means keep them home, they'll be starting behind in kindergarten, it's a fact.
Anonymous
Post 11/24/2012 07:19     Subject: childcare costs and jobs
Here is my experience. I chose to say home when my twins were 5 months old. I left a 6 figure medical sales position. At the time I had been in my sales career for 11 years. My husband has an even better career in finance for a fortune 50 company. We also made his decision in February 2009 when at the time layoffs were the norm. Our plan was to sah until the boys were at least 3 but if we could get them to KG we would before I returned to work. So how did everything work out. Great actually. My husband says now that he felt really proud and a good provider during the time I was home. At the time I left my position, everyone said I was crazy to ggive up my position, but I felt the crazy decision was to continue working ft. The kicker is this fall I got an offer with another great company, same industry making more money and great future growth. My career didn't suffer at all like most will tell you on this board, it actually wouldn't be any different if I continued working. In total I was home 4 years with my boys, they went to 1/2 day preschool 3 days a week last year and this year are doing great at their full time pre k class. Financially our income of course was down for those four years, but we just cut back expensese, but net worth wise we did just fine. What I miss the most is the flexibility we enjoyed with me not working. It allowed us to take some great family vacations during those years. So yes we did it, no family close by, no nannies, I have great memories of the boys early years, and would not make the choice to continue working if I could do it over again. Everyone circumstances are different, marriages are all unique, personal goals vary etc. I just wanted to offer my story to let other families see that real people do still choose to stay home. It is not always about the money people.
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2012 21:17     Subject: childcare costs and jobs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is a very anti-SAHM board OP so you are unlikely to get a balanced answer. Many women would not want to be at home with their kids regardless of income threshhold. You need to make the decision that is right for you. There are benefits to being at home for some people. A reduction in stress, more family time, less chaotic mornings and evenings, greater influence in raising children, spending more time with the kids...depending on your view there can be positive mental health and relational outcomes as well. You need to weigh what the benefits to you would be against the priority you place on wealth and climbing the corporate ladder.


I find it ironic that you are posting about an anti-SAHM sentiment when you've reduced working to being all about "wealth and climbing the corporate ladder." What BS. I realize I shouldn't bother explaining why this has nothing to do with reality (the vast majority of people in this area don't work for corporations, for one, there a lot of folks in public service and working for nonprofits because they GASP love what they do). And not everyone has the option of "wealth." But I get that admitting this would involve admitting a whole bunch of stuff you aren't ready to do, so I'll let it go and let you keep your smug defensiveness.


Totally agree. But she gets to RELAX! Not an independent adult but she is RELAXED! And everyone who works does it because they prioritize wealth over their children
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2012 21:08     Subject: childcare costs and jobs
Anonymous wrote:This is a very anti-SAHM board OP so you are unlikely to get a balanced answer. Many women would not want to be at home with their kids regardless of income threshhold. You need to make the decision that is right for you. There are benefits to being at home for some people. A reduction in stress, more family time, less chaotic mornings and evenings, greater influence in raising children, spending more time with the kids...depending on your view there can be positive mental health and relational outcomes as well. You need to weigh what the benefits to you would be against the priority you place on wealth and climbing the corporate ladder.


I find it ironic that you are posting about an anti-SAHM sentiment when you've reduced working to being all about "wealth and climbing the corporate ladder." What BS. I realize I shouldn't bother explaining why this has nothing to do with reality (the vast majority of people in this area don't work for corporations, for one, there a lot of folks in public service and working for nonprofits because they GASP love what they do). And not everyone has the option of "wealth." But I get that admitting this would involve admitting a whole bunch of stuff you aren't ready to do, so I'll let it go and let you keep your smug defensiveness.
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2012 20:57     Subject: Re:childcare costs and jobs
In the five years since I've children our HHI has risen over a 100K, so you can't look at the short term. What is earning potential down the road? For both of you, not just the one who is quitting. My DH's income has risen at a more significant rate, but it's meant that we can outsource more, etc., and that down the road I can afford (given what increasing income which has risen as well has allowed us to save etc.) to consult or go PT in a couple of years if things get hectic when both start school.

Think big picture. I'm really glad I have stayed in the workforce but it will vary from family to family. I did cut back my hours after DD1 was born for a couple of years.
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2012 20:55     Subject: Re:childcare costs and jobs
There are many factors that go into making this decision and for every family, the ultimate answer will be different, even if the basic numbers were the same.

Some of the most important factors you cannot put a tangible value on, such as your desire to stay at home and raise your children, your desire to maintain a career that you've invested a huge part of your life on. Then there are non-salary benefits including insurance, disability, FSA deductibles, retirement savings, and more. If you take the remaining half of your current income after childcare, are you investing some or all of that in a 529 for your children's college fund? Are you saving the right amount for retirement? Even though you'll be taking on many of the other household duties, will the decrease in salary affect your ability to pay for home and auto insurance? Mortgage? Auto payments? Car repairs? Home maintenance?

Even if you and I were to come up with similar answers to most of these, our emotions and personal values about childcare, career, family values may make us make the diametrically opposite decision.