Anonymous
11/14/2012 07:46
Subject: Re:Ever get an email from *the facebook police* mom?
OP if the other mother is that concerned about this I would be respectful of the request. You don't know whether there are extenuating circumstances such as stalking, religious objections, family history with older siblings nieces being subjected to cyber bullying, etc. There are many reasons why someone would not want their daughter participating in Facebook.
If your DD is the girl's good friend and she is into social media she very well could be posting everything that they are doing together. Social media goes beyond just pictures, the way kids use it it provides a map of where they are and what they are doing. There is a difference between winding up in crowd shot on FB and being displayed with your BFF on many of posts along with all your activities together.
If your DD is the girl's good friend and she is into social media she very well could be posting everything that they are doing together. Social media goes beyond just pictures, the way kids use it it provides a map of where they are and what they are doing. There is a difference between winding up in crowd shot on FB and being displayed with your BFF on many of posts along with all your activities together.
Anonymous
11/13/2012 07:53
Subject: Ever get an email from *the facebook police* mom?
Anonymous wrote:Are they in the Witness protection program?
I know, right? Can you imagine trying to remain anonymous in this day of social networking?
OP I think your new reply will be, 'We always photoshop your DD out, and you can check my DD's page if you have concerns.'
Then she'll know that (a) you understand technology, and (b) aren't posting pictures because you are inviting her to view them.
Anonymous
11/12/2012 19:37
Subject: Re:Ever get an email from *the facebook police* mom?
OP here. I edited for publication what the email really said.
Anonymous
11/12/2012 19:35
Subject: Ever get an email from *the facebook police* mom?
Anonymous wrote:Are they in the Witness protection program?
This is exactly what I was thinking!
Anonymous
11/12/2012 19:25
Subject: Ever get an email from *the facebook police* mom?
These are teenage girls! I am not sure what you said in your first replies, but I would initially respond by
"I respect your wishes and I will be sure to pass them onto my daughter, but I can't always monitor the two of them. I will also let your daughter know that if she ever feels uncomfortable, she should come to me and I will make sure that we respect her boundaries as we would any guest."
If she kept repeatedly telling me about her facebook rule, I would just ignore the messages.
I would not take responsibility for keeping her daughter off facebook. You should know that when someone is in public, then anyone can take a picture and post it on the internet.
"I respect your wishes and I will be sure to pass them onto my daughter, but I can't always monitor the two of them. I will also let your daughter know that if she ever feels uncomfortable, she should come to me and I will make sure that we respect her boundaries as we would any guest."
If she kept repeatedly telling me about her facebook rule, I would just ignore the messages.
I would not take responsibility for keeping her daughter off facebook. You should know that when someone is in public, then anyone can take a picture and post it on the internet.
Anonymous
11/12/2012 14:53
Subject: Ever get an email from *the facebook police* mom?
I would tell her that her daughter does not have access to facebook in your home and if it is an issue, perhaps her daughter should not be visiting in your home.
Anonymous
11/12/2012 14:49
Subject: Re:Ever get an email from *the facebook police* mom?
I can absolutely guarantee this girl has a facebook page she keeps secret from her mother. I have seen this before.
Ding, ding, ding! The light finally dawns!
Anonymous
11/12/2012 14:44
Subject: Ever get an email from *the facebook police* mom?
Anonymous wrote:Are they in the Witness protection program?
Paging Mary Shannon!
Anonymous
11/12/2012 14:37
Subject: Ever get an email from *the facebook police* mom?
I can absolutely guarantee this girl has a facebook page she keeps secret from her mother. I have seen this before.
I think a very polite "I hear you, you do not need to keep reminding me," line is sufficient. You might also add that it would be easier for her DD to monitor what is being posted about her if she was on facebook herself, but I guess that would be cruel.
I hate hate hate it when people use the term "bullying" to describe something that isn't bullying. It happens all the time and it really diminishes what bullying actually is. Its become the go-to word every time someone just doesn't like what someone else says.
I think a very polite "I hear you, you do not need to keep reminding me," line is sufficient. You might also add that it would be easier for her DD to monitor what is being posted about her if she was on facebook herself, but I guess that would be cruel.
I hate hate hate it when people use the term "bullying" to describe something that isn't bullying. It happens all the time and it really diminishes what bullying actually is. Its become the go-to word every time someone just doesn't like what someone else says.
Anonymous
11/12/2012 13:53
Subject: Ever get an email from *the facebook police* mom?
I'd ignore it. If she brought up the fact that I ignored her email, to my face I would say "Yes, I responded to you the first TWO times you emailed me about it. We don't need to talk about the same thing over and over."
Anonymous
11/12/2012 11:21
Subject: Ever get an email from *the facebook police* mom?
Are they in the Witness protection program?
Anonymous
11/12/2012 11:18
Subject: Re:Ever get an email from *the facebook police* mom?
You are right, just annoying, I guess. I am the parent who would take it seriously and check the posts (and tell her). No abuse issues.
Anonymous
11/12/2012 11:06
Subject: Ever get an email from *the facebook police* mom?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm a very forthright person so I would be honest and tell her her comments are getting a little old, that you and your DD understand her concerns, and that you will let her know if the rules are violated.
Thank you. In my heart, I feel there is more to it...
More to what? To her objections? What do you suspect?
Telling somebody something that they already know or have to do is subtle or not so subtle bullying. Example -- Don't forget to take out the trash! Christmas is on the 25th! Did you forget to rake your leaves! School pick up time is 2;30! It is bullying b/c what can you reply? Just a throw out line.
What OP has described can in no way shape or form be considered bullying. What an absolutely outlandish comparison. You are obviously a lucky person who has had no experience with true bullying.
I do agree that this other mom is being annoying. It sounds like she is very controlling about her daughter, but nothing OP has said would suggest it has anything personal to do with OP or OP's daughter. PPs have given some very good suggestions about how to respond. Anything more than that is just the OP starting unnecessary drama, which is the last thing the kids need.
Anonymous
11/12/2012 10:28
Subject: Ever get an email from *the facebook police* mom?
Yeah, I agree. Not bullying, just annoying helicopter parent. Unless of course there are circumstances like abuse that we do not know about.
Anonymous
11/12/2012 10:24
Subject: Ever get an email from *the facebook police* mom?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm a very forthright person so I would be honest and tell her her comments are getting a little old, that you and your DD understand her concerns, and that you will let her know if the rules are violated.
Thank you. In my heart, I feel there is more to it...
More to what? To her objections? What do you suspect?
Telling somebody something that they already know or have to do is subtle or not so subtle bullying. Example -- Don't forget to take out the trash! Christmas is on the 25th! Did you forget to rake your leaves! School pick up time is 2;30! It is bullying b/c what can you reply? Just a throw out line.
Meh. I guess I don't see it that way. She may not remember whom she has told. She may have had other moms who forgot. Or, she may, as another pp has suggested, have good reasons (e.g., abusive past) for being so cautious. So, I don't see this as bullying as much as annoying. Just tell her that and move on.