Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it ends the sexual relationship with your spouse and it basically ends the friendships you have with people who don't have children.

Lies! This only happens to people who weren't that into the sexual side of the relationship to begin with and were crappy friends all along.

Utter rubbish.

Um, it isn't. I still maintain friendships with my friends who don't have kids and, shockingly, have made friends with and socialize with people who don't have kids even AFTER I had a child. My husband and I had frequent sex before child and still do. If you truly enjoy sex with your spouse, you will continue to enjoy and have sex with your spouse even if you're a parent. If you value friendships with people, you will continue to cultivate and feed those relationships even after you have a child. It is really not this "either/or" lifestyle that so many with children paint it to be. You can be a real person too, you know!

If you have the luxury to stay at home or work part time, then maybe this is true. But when you both work until 630 and the baby goes to bed at 8 and wakes up at 6 ... Very hard to have time or energy for anything other than the basics.

Sex in the first 20 weeks was a very nerve-racking experience. We were worried about increasing our existing risks for preterm labor, so abstained. Now, in the 3rd trimester we're working it back in, but there have been a lot of hurt feelings along the way. In hind sight, we support our decision, and are confident we'll get back on rhythm.

It's hard to feel pretty, sometimes, when your pregnant. It's even harder to separate tough decisions and stress from body image perceptions. We have to get pretty creative to remind each other of how we really feel. Maybe, we're not all dressed up, and Nobody has put on makeup, or even changed out of sweat pants. But, we still need to take a little mommy and daddy time... on a schedule. Once we get that down, maybe we'll even work on foreplay!

17:03, you sum up my thoughts perfectly. This is also how my parents lived their lives (my mom was a SAHM) and their happiness has lasted 42 years (36 married). They are truly my role models as i had a fantastic childhood and still maintain a great relationship with my parents. The love they had/have for each other shaped me and what i expected out of relationships and thankfully i have an amazing DH. Although they were extremely involved in mine and my brother's lives, they did not lose their own identity as individuals and still maintained close and meaningful friendships. I hope I'm as lucky.

I worry about some of my friends who can't separate themselves from their kids. At some point their.kids will be more independent, and at that point I'm not sure if my friends will have any.friends left at all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it ends the sexual relationship with your spouse and it basically ends the friendships you have with people who don't have children.

Lies! This only happens to people who weren't that into the sexual side of the relationship to begin with and were crappy friends all along.

Utter rubbish.

Um, it isn't. I still maintain friendships with my friends who don't have kids and, shockingly, have made friends with and socialize with people who don't have kids even AFTER I had a child. My husband and I had frequent sex before child and still do. If you truly enjoy sex with your spouse, you will continue to enjoy and have sex with your spouse even if you're a parent. If you value friendships with people, you will continue to cultivate and feed those relationships even after you have a child. It is really not this "either/or" lifestyle that so many with children paint it to be. You can be a real person too, you know!

Anonymous wrote:DCUM--The Cliffnotes Edition:

So you had a baby. Expect the following:

No more sex. More arguments. 50/50 chores now become 90/10. Friends without kids kick you to the curb. Frequency of in-law visits increase based on how little you care for them.

Good synopsis!