I am sorry, it stinks and I think it is just fine to grieve. Your child will have wonderful language and delight you with so many facts! You will find joy in this and other ways. Life changes us and your child will be remarkable. Enjoy talking to him.

15:39. OP asked about positive qualities about Asperger's and I never mentioned their language abilities. Tony Attwood in his book, The Complete Guide to Asperger's (great book and a must for anyone with AS) mentions that many people with AS are able to learn a foreign language and sound like a native speaker. This is true for DS who attends an immersion language school, Mandarin. According to his teachers, DS tones are perfect and he sounds like a native. Pretty cool. OP may want to consider an immersion school for her DS.

^^sorry--I read a PP's response and assumed you had a DD. sorry for the "daughter" references!

I have Aspbergers and didn't find out until I was an adult. I went to an Ivy League college, a top ten law school, and have always had friends. I'm married and have two wonderful little boys (one of which I think has mild Aspbergers, but we haven't had him tested yet--he's three). Like others said, I've never had a big group of close friends and struggle with social interactions. I really only interact well in short bursts or over email (where i can edit myself). I've always been very pretty, thin, and weirdly smart, so even though i was in counseling for severe depression in college, no one noticed that i had Aspbergers--they thought I was just depressed when really the depression stemmed from my inability to succeed despite seeming to have all the nescessary "gifts." I couldnt figure out why life was hard for me. I would have loved to get help as a kid! I missed out on so much in life, and dealing with this diagnosis as an adult is awful since there's not much you can do at this point. I'm so sorry you are going through this, but you have the chance to give your daughter the gift of tools to deal with others and with life in general. I don't think my parents would have pursued a diagnosis or treatment for me even they had been able to diagnosis Aspbergers in the late 70s. Your DC is lucky to have such a great mom.

Anonymous wrote:http://www.specialeducationadvisor.com/floor-time-a-developmental-approach-to-play-therapy-for-children-impacted-by-autism/

http://www.thefloortimecenter.com/research.html

DS went to The Floortime Center for years. We saw a profound difference.

For all you know he may not be Aspergers but have other issues. At the age of three, the brain is totally malleable and you can be the person to make significant changes in your child. Assume there is room for great growth and change and charge full speed ahead with as much floor time as possible.

15:39. We tried Floortime when DS was first diagnosed. Did nothing so we stopped. Worth trying though... The thing that helped DS most was getting an IEP in prek when he got the AS diagnosis. DS gets PT, OT, speech, social skills, etc all at school and we stopped private OT. DS is doing great according to his teachers, academically and socially; has friends and plays with them during recess and free time. Completely a full member and participant in the classroom. I really believe getting him supports when he first started school prevented the anxiety, social problems and behavior issues that can appear with an ASD diagnosis.

OP - you are very fortunate. You found out early. Girls often go undetected. We didn't get a correct diagnosis for our daughter until age 13 - it was missed by four testers and two local private schools. Totally missed by all those oh so full of themselves private school shrinks, therapists, special teachers, adminstrators, principals and therapists. She got lumped into the ADHD pile. We now see the pattern in the family. Lots of true geniuses and she is one of them - scored in the MENSA range on the ACT and is going to do just fine in life. Watch the Temple Grandin film.