Anonymous wrote:Wow, thanks for the judgement based on our religious beliefs. OP here. I put "baptism" in quotes because it's not what people would think of as a typical baptism. Yes, something more formal than a party to welcome her; something like a naming ceremony.

Yes, we are looking for secular officiants. Does anyone have any specific suggestions? I wouldn't mind someone who also does weddings, but I'm not really into paying a 'wedding price' (because meeting with this person over the phone or briefly in person once would be fine for me ).

I am curious why you reject religion but covet the liturgies and rituals of religion? This strikes me as the ultimate in cognitive dissonance.

I don't judge you at all for your lack of religion, but I do think it is very peculiar for you to appropriate these practices for secular purposes. If you want to have a party, have a party, but this need for an "officiant" to do -- what?. This is just odd, and empty. I'm sure you want it to be meaningful, and maybe it will be meaningful to you in some way only you can rationalize... But this is neither common practice, nor consistent with any atheist value system.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, thanks for the judgement based on our religious beliefs. OP here.

We're strangers to you; what do you care? You asked on an anonymous message board. Grow a thicker skin and pay attention to the responses you like and ignore the rest. How childish.

+1. You know you're offending religious types by borrowing their "baptism" and stripping it of the meaning you obviously dislike, and yet you complain that you're getting no love? You sound totally self-absorbed. Grow up.

Completely agree. You want the beauty of the ritual, but none of what underlies it. Grow up indeed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Seriously, if nothing else I am surprised that there are such few attempts at being PC, even on an anonymous website.

It's not about being "PC" or victimizing poor little atheists. The problem is, you haven't explained what this celebrant is supposed to do, therefore, we can't imagine why you would need one. Your goal for the celebrant seems to be to add "formality" instead of the religious meaning in a religious ceremony. So from what we can tell, you want to get a free total stranger to introduce your baby to your family and friends -- but this seems totally unnecessary, when you could do a better job yourselves, because you know yourselves and your baby.

Seriously, you and your partner can do this way better yourselves. You know your baby and yourselves. A total stranger you've borrowed from the UUs for free doesn't know you and won't be able to take the time to know you. Having this total stranger say something like "let's all welcome baby Zoe and wish her the best for her future" just seems plastic, and lame, compared to what you and your partner could do. You claim your first baby's ceremony was "incredibly meaningful", but without details from you, it's unclear what your guests thought, and we on DCUM are still in the dark about what the celebrant's role actually was.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, thanks for the judgement based on our religious beliefs. OP here.

We're strangers to you; what do you care? You asked on an anonymous message board. Grow a thicker skin and pay attention to the responses you like and ignore the rest. How childish.

+1. You know you're offending religious types by borrowing their "baptism" and stripping it of the meaning you obviously dislike, and yet you complain that you're getting no love? You sound totally self-absorbed. Grow up.

Totally agree.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, thanks for the judgement based on our religious beliefs. OP here.

We're strangers to you; what do you care? You asked on an anonymous message board. Grow a thicker skin and pay attention to the responses you like and ignore the rest. How childish.

+1. You know you're offending religious types by borrowing their "baptism" and stripping it of the meaning you obviously dislike, and yet you complain that you're getting no love? You sound totally self-absorbed. Grow up.

Anonymous wrote:Wow, thanks for the judgement based on our religious beliefs. OP here.

We're strangers to you; what do you care? You asked on an anonymous message board. Grow a thicker skin and pay attention to the responses you like and ignore the rest. How childish.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Seriously, if nothing else I am surprised that there are such few attempts at being PC, even on an anonymous website.

It's not about being "PC" or victimizing poor little atheists. The problem is, you haven't explained what this celebrant is supposed to do, therefore, we can't imagine why you would need one. Your goal for the celebrant seems to be to add "formality" instead of the religious meaning in a religious ceremony. So from what we can tell, you want to get a free total stranger to introduce your baby to your family and friends -- but this seems totally unnecessary, when you could do a better job yourselves, because you know yourselves and your baby.

Seriously, you and your partner can do this way better yourselves. You know your baby and yourselves. A total stranger you've borrowed from the UUs for free doesn't know you and won't be able to take the time to know you. Having this total stranger say something like "let's all welcome baby Zoe and wish her the best for her future" just seems plastic, and lame, compared to what you and your partner could do. You claim your first baby's ceremony was "incredibly meaningful", but without details from you, it's unclear what your guests thought, and we on DCUM are still in the dark about what the celebrant's role actually was.

OP here. Seriously, if nothing else I am surprised that there are such few attempts at being PC, even on an anonymous website.

We had an "officiant" at my first child's naming ceremony, and it was incredibly meaningful. We participanted, and basically designed the program, but to us having someone help guide that program (more than an MC) was invaluable because it let us be participants ourselves.

I can understand that ritual isn't for everyone, but I guess I don't really see why ritual is only valid if it's part of a prescribed "sacrament." So if we're not Catholic or Jewish, or whatever, what we do doesn't matter or count because it's not required by tradition or by our religion?

These days we're strapped financially which is why having a student/intern of a UU church, for instance, would make sense.

Man I hope I am not friends with any of the rude commenters. It's disheartening to hear how close minded people can be.

OP, about half an hour into your party, you and DH should call for silence. Then you should tell your assembled guests what your new baby means to you, how you've grown, how you love her smiles, and other sincere but not-too-sappy thoughts on parenthood and babyhood.

But if you still want to go with a celebrant, can I come, if I promise not to laugh (out loud)? I can see this going one of two ways:
(1) your cheapish or free new-agey celebrant talks for a long time about Princess Sunshine and Moonbeam (your baby), and maybe crystals are mentioned.
(2) your more serious official, in her powder blue jacket and skirt, lifts up your baby - and presto, you have a total stranger, who barely knows you and your child, introducing DD to your friends and family who have already met DD.

OP, I think I get what you're trying to do here. Instead of an officiant, why not have some kind of event with a program that is created by you, your family, and your close friends. You could pick, say, five things for your ceremony-- a meaningful poem or brief story read by a friend or relative, a song performed by a musical attendee, you and your DH could write a pledge or mission statement for your new family and recite it to your guests, a few words/comments by someone close to you whose parenting style inspires you, a few words by you and your DH about what it means to you to welcome your child into your lives and/or some anecdotes of cherished memories you each have of your parents that will inform the way you raise your child, a family member from each side could say a few words about members previous generations and the special traits/talents that are your child's heritage. You could also have some ritual that you will repeat at your child's birthday dinner every year. Instead of an officiant, have the program led by one of the grandparents-- the oldest generation welcomes or initiates the newest members. Then host a dinner or desert for guests.

So many possibilities, OP. Have fun with it!

OP of course people are going to be judgmental, as well they should be. You are essentially making a mockery out of one of the sacraments and most important events in a persons religious life.

Our secular wedding officiant does what you're describing. We liked her.

http://www.revalbertaeaton.com/services

Anonymous wrote:So you want a stranger to do you a favor (for free or very cheap) that has absolutely no meaning?

ITA. Go ahead and have a naming party. Invite your friends and family and make a fun bash out of it.

But if you want a celebrant to create a whole new secular ceremony just for you, you're going to have to pay him or her something. Otherwise, you'll end up with the on-the-cheap celebrant faking his/her way through it and your guests will be rolling their eyes (which they might do anyway, if you go much beyond the established naming ceremony).

Anonymous wrote:a non religious Baptism is best described as an oxymoron

This!

Anonymous wrote:Wow, thanks for the judgement based on our religious beliefs. OP here. I put "baptism" in quotes because it's not what people would think of as a typical baptism. Yes, something more formal than a party to welcome her; something like a naming ceremony.

Yes, we are looking for secular officiants. Does anyone have any specific suggestions? I wouldn't mind someone who also does weddings, but I'm not really into paying a 'wedding price' (because meeting with this person over the phone or briefly in person once would be fine for me ).

Just search on some of the bridal websites - the knot, wedding wire, etc. You obviously wouldn't pay a "wedding price" if it's not a wedding.