Anonymous wrote:I have a long time friend who has lead a charmed and pain free life and she's now 48. Even her beloved grandparents are still alive at 100 with little health problems. I've had my fair share of tragedy, and she has experienced so very little. Even her family is all so very close. Yes, there are some people who have avoided getting kicked in the teeth!!!

I just took one of those tests that predict how long you will live based on certain things, just for kicks. It predicted I will live until 90. Now, not saying I will, but your friend's life may not even be half over. We don't know what's ahead.

Certainly don't wish her ill but at some point, she will likely lose loved ones, go through struggles, etc. I think life is challenging for everyone at some point.

I have a long time friend who has lead a charmed and pain free life and she's now 48. Even her beloved grandparents are still alive at 100 with little health problems. I've had my fair share of tragedy, and she has experienced so very little. Even her family is all so very close. Yes, there are some people who have avoided getting kicked in the teeth!!!

Anonymous wrote:Everyone experiences the death of a loved one at some point.

Unless you are the one that dies first, of course.

I agree with the "it's relative" pps
Some may say I have a charmed life, but I am extremely optimistic. I have been kicked in the teeth by life, but honestly I saw it as more of just bumps in the road;
I have lived through an extremely violent relationship-had to get restraining order and move to another city before I was even 20.
Had some dear loved ones die slow painful deaths from cancer, had a grandfather die right in front of me.
I now have a dh who is bipolar and recovering alcoholic and an autistic ds
Like I said, from the outside-most people who know me now very little of this-only that dh doesn't drink and ds is autistic, other than that people may think I have an easy life
Stay positive!

I'm mangling the quote by the grandma in the movie Parenthood, but it seems life is like a rollercoaster-it has it's ups and downs. Even people who seem to be on the merry-go-round all the time end up on the roller coaster. For lack of a better expression, people have different pain thresholds when it comes to rough patches. I think it all depends on how you deal with things. The past two years I felt like life was "kicking me in the teeth". Gradually in the past six months, things seem to be getting better. But I know I will encounter more rough patches down the road-that's life.

Everyone has troubles but I think I have been yet relatively unscathed, despite the fact that I had to deal with infidelity (we worked through it), DH losing his job (though only for a short time) and mental illness (which we quickly medicated and attended therapy).

I am still relatively young (30's) so I am sure I will have any more challenged yet to face, particularly as my parents get older and their health declines, but I certainly have never thought of it at "life kicking me in the teeth."

No, but DCUM does.

I don't know the answer to your question, OP, but I have noticed that most of my dearest, closest friends have had awful stuff happen to them -- and they came through the other side. I don't think this is coincidence. I am drawn to their depth of character and usually later I learn of their travails.

I'm sure we all have our problems, but having observed some people's lives from the outside, it seems like some people aren't kicked hard enough. The ones who somehow manage to get to live a decent life after all the shitty things they have pulled on others or flat our stupid decisions they make and somehow get bailed out by others to make more stupid decisions further on down the road.

So, these are the ones I feel get through unscathed as was stated in the original post. This isn't to say these people's lives are perfect and they also haven't dealt with their own shit, just that there are some people who get an easier ride than they deserve for whatever reason.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The first 33 years of mine were to-die-for amazing. I even loved jr. high and high school. But it's been kicking me in the a$$ for the past 3 years. Parents divorced after 38 years, DH laid off, infertility, huge relocation for new job for DH, hating where I'm living now, mostly because I have no friends! So yeah, I don't think I'm the outlier - I think it does hit everyone. Once I started having issues in my own life, lots of others with (previously unknown to me) issues started coming out of the woodwork to help/relate/commiserate. Back when my life looked and was more "perfect" I never heard much about the teeth-kicking issues, just more in passing if at all.

Parents divorcing after so long hit me too. Where are you living?

Me too. After almost 30 years and I remember them being happy. It's been about 15 years now and I haven't recovered. Mom the leaver never landed on her feet, Dad is doing okay. Holidays are terrible and mom has given up and centered her life around her children who are busy with theirs and don't have time for her (there's no end to her needs). It sucks all the way around.

As I get older the cliche "that which doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" seems to ring true. I had some super sh*tty years but things seem awesome now. I think everyone goes through rough patches in life. The only thing that differs is how one deals with it and what level of help the get from family/friends. I feel for those who are alone in their sh*tty time.

Everyone gets punched in the gut by life. But some peoples punches are much more severe than other. They don't know it though - it is all relative.

I was sexually abused throughout my childhood, has a physically abusive parent, had another parent die at a young age, struggled with depression, eating disorder issues etc.

If you compare my life to some people - it seems terrible. But compared to others it seems wonderful because I made it through all of that and am relatively happy, stable and successful now.

It is all relative.

Feel like I've been kicked for the last few years. Had a mini-meltdown about it last night, in fact. Thanks for just asking the question - makes me feel less alone.

I don't know if it happenes to everyone. I think a lot of it is perception and our ability to deal with it. I'm just waiting for the period in my life when it's not kicking me in my teeth. It started when I was about 2 with a drunk father, divorce, extremely depressed mother, war for four years at 12, had to leave everyone behind if I was going to make anything out of myself, and it just keeps going on.

In some horrible times I've had, upon reflection, I've had a surreal detachment come over me and just get through it. You forget that others don't know what you are going through and you think that everyone you meet must know of the bad things that have happened. Tis true, years passing have an incredible way of healing.

I think some are unscathed. But very few.