Anonymous wrote:i'm willing to spend perhaps $20/hr to hire a college kid to train 8-yo DS one-on-one to help him improve his game. he's not a fast kid so always late to the ball and never has a chance to take a shot. but if he has better foot skills and tactical skills i think he can perhaps have a better chance to score? he really wants to score some goals and i think it's important to keep him interested/motivated to continue to play...

would love to hear from those who've used private coaches before. tks!

A year ago I would have told you 8 is too young. But, when I put my middle schooler in a travel team I found that I had the opportunity to put my 9 yo on a travel team that practices at the same place at the same time. Saving time/driving won over my ideology that playing travel at 9 was too young.

My 9 yo was just like your son, not very skilled, not very fast, low motivation.

What I found out was that after a year of learning real soccer he can play pretty well. He is very fast but never tried to get to the ball because he would get schooled and feel embarrassed. Once he learned some skills he had more confidence as was able to steal the ball and do something with it he was more apt to try.

I would not just hire a college kid though - unless that college kid plays soccer at his college. Our coach is a college kid and I would hire him because he plays soccer for college but charges more like $50/hour. We have not done the 1 on 1 training but learning the real way to play soccer has gone a long way to his self confidence and enjoyment of the game.

I don't know why people are giving you grief, OP. Every 8 year old wants to score. I posted a question on DCUM about my five year old not being aggressive in soccer and just watching the action even though he loved playing soccer. Most of the posters said to pick a different sport or that you can't change him. I ignored them and kept signing him up for leagues and classes. The soccer camp and classes he did really helped much more than just playing in the leagues. In the soccer league practice the drills were dribbling around cones, lining up and shooting (both he was great at) and scrimmiging where the best players dominated. So he never practiced 1vs. 1 drills or 2 on 2, 3 on 3 drills, which help a child learn to go after the ball. He learned to go after the ball in soccer class. Last year never scored last year and this year he is the high scorer on his team. If he is interested get him extra coaching and keep signing him up for rec leagues. Many of the better players will be dropping out of the rec leagues at 9 and 10 to play club, so if he practices will have a better chance of scoring next year. Don't listen to the people telling you he can never be a forward. Perhaps not in club soccer, but in rec league he can have fun and develop a love for soccer so he can keep playing even as an adult in a rec league.

Anonymous wrote:
They even start 'travel' soccer way to early. Kids aren't mature enough or physically and emotionally ready in 3rd grade.

Some of the differences I see between travel and rec are: tryouts to separate the more skilled players from the average players (IMO, this is good on both sides), experienced, trained, and licensed coaches (usually rec coaches are parent volunteers), travel further away, more costly, year-round commitment, more games played. Sure, travel soccer isn't for everyone but it's a great option for the kids that need something more than rec has to offer. U9 travel soccer is a lot different than U11 travel soccer. I'm a parent of two boys that play soccer. My oldest started playing travel at u9 and my youngest plays rec now but will start next year in travel as a u9.

Anonymous wrote:Why is it so important to score goals for your DS (or you)?

That's a silly question. Most kids at that age want to score goals. Even the 12 year old that plays defender on my son's travel team (and has for the last 2 years) got super excited last weekend when he scored his first goal ever while playing on this team. Scoring goals is fun and exciting for most people, nevermind an 8 year old.

Anonymous wrote:OP- your kid is not striker material. Everyone wants to be the quarterback, the striker, etc. There are only 1-2 strikers per team.

I get wanting to help your kid, but he'll do much better I life if you are honest with him. Money and pressure might buy his way into a school--but it doesn't work as easily in the sports arena.

Speed without the ball is number one. No speed,no striker.

Midfielders, defenders, goalies are all important and valued positions. My team gave just as much attention to great assists and defense.

There is no "I" in team and you are a parent I would not want on my sideline.

Actually, a team sport will probably be the best thing for OP's kid given her own attitude.

OP- your kid is not striker material. Everyone wants to be the quarterback, the striker, etc. There are only 1-2 strikers per team.

I get wanting to help your kid, but he'll do much better I life if you are honest with him. Money and pressure might buy his way into a school--but it doesn't work as easily in the sports arena.

Speed without the ball is number one. No speed,no striker.

Midfielders, defenders, goalies are all important and valued positions. My team gave just as much attention to great assists and defense.

There is no "I" in team and you are a parent I would not want on my sideline.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your child not fast or not aggressive? In soccer it is all about being first to the ball. The speediest kid at age 8 isn't always the first to the ball, it is often the most aggressive player who will challenge. Try to find a soccer skills class or try to find a rec league where he will be on the older side of the kids, so a grouping go 6 to 8 year olds, not 8 to 10 year olds.

great insight! no he's not aggressive. perhaps i can just tell him if you want to score you have to be aggressive... but then again if he doesn't get to play forward it's tough to get the ball near the goal...

What? Huh? Did you or DH play any sports growing up?

#1- speed can be improved--but there are genetic limits. Some people are just slow.
#2- you cannot teach sports-style aggression or innate competitiveness.
#3- some families have no athletic ability.

That does not mean your kid can't play sports for 'fun'. What I don't like is the idea that you seem to want to buy your kid genetic gifts? Why not just realize soccer may not be his sport--but let him continue to play if he is having fun. If he is not having fun as it gets more competitive--move on. It is about 'him'- not 'you'. I have a nephew that loved, loved, loved football and was dying to be a quarterback. He is 6'3"--looks like one--but the kid is just not super-competitive or gifted in that area. he still played and then when he got no playing time in HS- he hung it up and moved onto CrossCountry. he ended up getting a track scholarship this year to college!

I say this not to be snarky. We have two professional players in my family and I played Division I so the new trend with soccer in this area is very disturbing to me. They even start 'travel' soccer way to early. Kids aren't mature enough or physically and emotionally ready in 3rd grade.

what's wrong with you? helping my kid to get what he wants somehow makes me a bad parent? you're so all athletic we should just do nothing but bow to your supremacy. obnoxious parents like you is the trend that's disturbing to me. disgusting.

This poster pipes up all the time to say how much she doesn't like where youth soccer is today - doesn't like professional coaches, travel is meaningless, blah blah blah. Yet way more kids are involved in soccer now than they were in her day. It is actually getting some traction as a sport at the professional level although the women are still having trouble. Without a more compettiive youth soccer movement we wouldn't have made this kind of progress.

OP, by all means get a coach to work on skills. If you are in Virginia you may be able to find a HS student (since their competitive season is the spring so they will just be doing travel now) to help. It would be hard to get a MD or private school or college kid who had time during the peak of soccer season. My DC has done some one on one coaching with little kids, as have some of his friends (and they do get paid $20/hour). The kids seemed to enjoy it.

I do think you need to talk to your son about the team concept. The majority of goals are scored by only a few players on a team. That is their job. Other players have different jobs. My DC is one of the best players on his team and is a defender. Rarely scores.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't invest in private training unless he's committed to improving his play, not just "scoring a goal".

It might also be helpful to talk to him about the entire concept of teamwork and playing a position. By U9 kids are beginning to gravitate to offense, mid, or defense. If he's not aggressive, he's probably not a natural forward, and could serve his team better in another spot.

My DS, now in high school, is a natural defender. He has scored a handful of goals in his entire life. He became good at soccer by concentrating on tactics, footwork, and reading the field.

or maybe those who gravitate toward offense are simply better with the ball which almost always means they have played and trained longer and/or harder.

I don't think that's it. I've seen great players who excel at defense or mid, but don't have the "go for the goal" mentality you see in strikers.

You really need to talk with your kid and try to figure out what he wants. If he's trying to get to the ball and score, but being beat out by his teammates, working on those skills could help. But if he is saying "I want to score goals" but not showing it in his behavior on the field, he might benefit from being told that a team is made up of kids playing a variety of roles. A team of all strikers will lose every time, because they have no defense.

This is exactly it. Strikers are unique. A cherry-picker-somebody that just hangs out in front of the goal hoping for an easy score will never excel as a striker and be weeded out pretty quickly. Stikers need the inborn 'hunger for the goal' and speed. We have a kid that was a high scorer in early grades because his dad (the coach) would put him right in front of the goal and tell him to stay there. The kid scored in the early years for easy shots or ball deflecting off his body by accident. He is a decent player, but not striker material. He is also lazy. He won't give chase to the ball. Contrast to the other kid who is now striker that is gentle passive kid--but on the field his face lookers killer and he has a natural drive to the goal. He also will not give up but keep powering through.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't invest in private training unless he's committed to improving his play, not just "scoring a goal".

It might also be helpful to talk to him about the entire concept of teamwork and playing a position. By U9 kids are beginning to gravitate to offense, mid, or defense. If he's not aggressive, he's probably not a natural forward, and could serve his team better in another spot.

My DS, now in high school, is a natural defender. He has scored a handful of goals in his entire life. He became good at soccer by concentrating on tactics, footwork, and reading the field.

or maybe those who gravitate toward offense are simply better with the ball which almost always means they have played and trained longer and/or harder.

I don't think that's it. I've seen great players who excel at defense or mid, but don't have the "go for the goal" mentality you see in strikers.

You really need to talk with your kid and try to figure out what he wants. If he's trying to get to the ball and score, but being beat out by his teammates, working on those skills could help. But if he is saying "I want to score goals" but not showing it in his behavior on the field, he might benefit from being told that a team is made up of kids playing a variety of roles. A team of all strikers will lose every time, because they have no defense.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your child not fast or not aggressive? In soccer it is all about being first to the ball. The speediest kid at age 8 isn't always the first to the ball, it is often the most aggressive player who will challenge. Try to find a soccer skills class or try to find a rec league where he will be on the older side of the kids, so a grouping go 6 to 8 year olds, not 8 to 10 year olds.

great insight! no he's not aggressive. perhaps i can just tell him if you want to score you have to be aggressive... but then again if he doesn't get to play forward it's tough to get the ball near the goal...

What? Huh? Did you or DH play any sports growing up?

#1- speed can be improved--but there are genetic limits. Some people are just slow.
#2- you cannot teach sports-style aggression or innate competitiveness.
#3- some families have no athletic ability.

That does not mean your kid can't play sports for 'fun'. What I don't like is the idea that you seem to want to buy your kid genetic gifts? Why not just realize soccer may not be his sport--but let him continue to play if he is having fun. If he is not having fun as it gets more competitive--move on. It is about 'him'- not 'you'. I have a nephew that loved, loved, loved football and was dying to be a quarterback. He is 6'3"--looks like one--but the kid is just not super-competitive or gifted in that area. he still played and then when he got no playing time in HS- he hung it up and moved onto CrossCountry. he ended up getting a track scholarship this year to college!

I say this not to be snarky. We have two professional players in my family and I played Division I so the new trend with soccer in this area is very disturbing to me. They even start 'travel' soccer way to early. Kids aren't mature enough or physically and emotionally ready in 3rd grade.

what's wrong with you? helping my kid to get what he wants somehow makes me a bad parent? you're so all athletic we should just do nothing but bow to your supremacy. obnoxious parents like you is the trend that's disturbing to me. disgusting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your child not fast or not aggressive? In soccer it is all about being first to the ball. The speediest kid at age 8 isn't always the first to the ball, it is often the most aggressive player who will challenge. Try to find a soccer skills class or try to find a rec league where he will be on the older side of the kids, so a grouping go 6 to 8 year olds, not 8 to 10 year olds.

great insight! no he's not aggressive. perhaps i can just tell him if you want to score you have to be aggressive... but then again if he doesn't get to play forward it's tough to get the ball near the goal...

What? Huh? Did you or DH play any sports growing up?

#1- speed can be improved--but there are genetic limits. Some people are just slow.
#2- you cannot teach sports-style aggression or innate competitiveness.
#3- some families have no athletic ability.

That does not mean your kid can't play sports for 'fun'. What I don't like is the idea that you seem to want to buy your kid genetic gifts? Why not just realize soccer may not be his sport--but let him continue to play if he is having fun. If he is not having fun as it gets more competitive--move on. It is about 'him'- not 'you'. I have a nephew that loved, loved, loved football and was dying to be a quarterback. He is 6'3"--looks like one--but the kid is just not super-competitive or gifted in that area. he still played and then when he got no playing time in HS- he hung it up and moved onto CrossCountry. he ended up getting a track scholarship this year to college!

I say this not to be snarky. We have two professional players in my family and I played Division I so the new trend with soccer in this area is very disturbing to me. They even start 'travel' soccer way to early. Kids aren't mature enough or physically and emotionally ready in 3rd grade.

Why is it so important to score goals for your DS (or you)?

I hate to state the obvious, but your DS will never be a star soccer player. no matter how much cash you pour down the private coaching drain. If success in sports is important to your DS (or you), I suggest you find a sport where speed is less of a factor.

OP, speed isn't everything in soccer. David Beckham has never been the fastest man on the pitch, but he's a smart, hard-working player who does a few things very well (e.g., passing, which shows great vision, and shooting free kicks, which illustrates his remarkable control of the ball). Having said all that, if you're a striker, it helps to be fast, especially at age 8, when skill and positioning haven't developed enough yet to be big factors. So I guess my advice is to do the 1:1 training if you want, but also definitely send him to summer soccer camp -- you learn so much there about becoming a better passer, tactics, etc. You should also stress to him that though he'll probably never be the fastest kid on the pitch, if he trains hard over time he could become one of the best "runners" on the pitch. That is, he could be among those who are in the best "shape." Endurance really counts in soccer, especially at the midfield position. Kids may not have separated themselves from the pack based on stamina and endurance at age 8, but by the time he's 13 or so, it'll really be evident which kids can run all day and which ones get gassed quickly. If he's hell-bent on being a striker, then he'll have to learn that being a "smart" player who constantly puts himself in the right position to score is vital. If he can't blow by people with his (lack of) speed, he'll have to learn to anticipate where to stand/run to on corner kicks, say, or learn to trail the play when another, faster kid is running with the ball toward goal and is about to take a shot -- a well-positioned, hard-working, hard-running player can frequently be in the right place at the right time to get an errand rebound from another player's shot or to be wide open in space while the defense swarms around the first player. One striker who was never fast but was a master of hard work and positioning is former England player Gary Lineker, whose heyday was in the 1980s and early 90s. Google him and find his old clips on YouTube. Good luck to your son!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your child not fast or not aggressive? In soccer it is all about being first to the ball. The speediest kid at age 8 isn't always the first to the ball, it is often the most aggressive player who will challenge. Try to find a soccer skills class or try to find a rec league where he will be on the older side of the kids, so a grouping go 6 to 8 year olds, not 8 to 10 year olds.

great insight! no he's not aggressive. perhaps i can just tell him if you want to score you have to be aggressive... but then again if he doesn't get to play forward it's tough to get the ball near the goal...

IME, they dont group kids like that in soccer. It's U8, U9, U10, etc. So unless you play up you are always playing with kids your age. Of course if other kids are playing up then your kid could be playing with someone younger but Ive never head of anyone playing down (meaning your kid would be playing with someone older) but I suppose that is a possibility.

Correct, when playing rec soccer through Stoddard or AYSO, but there are some organizations that have soccer skills classes or camp that will group kids by wider age groups. It also depends on a kid's birthday with most soccer leagues having a July 31st cut off, so kids born in August and Sept. will always be the oldest kids, while June and July kids will always be the youngest. I would look into a soccer skills class first before paying for private coaching.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your child not fast or not aggressive? In soccer it is all about being first to the ball. The speediest kid at age 8 isn't always the first to the ball, it is often the most aggressive player who will challenge. Try to find a soccer skills class or try to find a rec league where he will be on the older side of the kids, so a grouping go 6 to 8 year olds, not 8 to 10 year olds.

great insight! no he's not aggressive. perhaps i can just tell him if you want to score you have to be aggressive... but then again if he doesn't get to play forward it's tough to get the ball near the goal...

IME, they dont group kids like that in soccer. It's U8, U9, U10, etc. So unless you play up you are always playing with kids your age. Of course if other kids are playing up then your kid could be playing with someone younger but Ive never head of anyone playing down (meaning your kid would be playing with someone older) but I suppose that is a possibility.