My husband is much better looking than I am. He married me, I think, because he very much wanted a wife that shared his interests. He didn't want a wife that would spend all her time dressing up, buying clothes, and doing girly things. He really wanted a partner and not just a maid/toy. And I have to admit, since he is a total nerd (although a very good looking nerd) that there are not many women who share his interests.

I suspect your husband is the same and knows that he was very lucky to find you.

Honestly when there's a huge disparity, I assume the uggo is amazing in bed or hilarious/fun to be around.

No matter how good looking or not, when one partner is a bag of wet mops with poor verbal skills and convo is awkward, yet the other is normal/fun, I think wtf? That confuses me more than anything.

Fat old PP here - my guy is cute and smart, and when we met he was also a pretty ripped athlete. As we got to know each other, I found it really attractive that his past girlfriends were women who weren't conventionally pretty, and that I had no idea what they looked like until I saw photos, because he just wasn't focused on that. His attraction was based on spirit and character. I was conventionally pretty at the time, but tired of shallow attention and also aware that I was going to get old someday. It's worked out beautifully. He still thinks I'm gorgeous, or does a really convincing act.

Maybe, OP, you just married exactly the right man.

Anonymous wrote:My husband is handsome, and I've been homely since the day he met me. When we were dating, I kept wondering how long it would take for him to realize he's much more attractive than me and dump me? We get looks, and I'm sure people wonder what he sees in me. Do I feel bad about that? Nope, not one little bit. Hot women marry nerdy men all the time and most people just assume the guy must be rich. I don't know what people assume about our situation. The truth is, we both have strengths and weaknesses. One of my main weaknesses just happens to be visible to everyone. He loves me and is devoted to me, and vice verse. That's all that matters to me.

Not to hijack, but I hate to read things like this. As a man, I have dated from homely to beautiful and there was absolutely no correlation between how I felt about the woman and her looks based on some asinine scale from some idiotic women's magazine or TV commercial.

My husband is handsome, and I've been homely since the day he met me. When we were dating, I kept wondering how long it would take for him to realize he's much more attractive than me and dump me? We get looks, and I'm sure people wonder what he sees in me. Do I feel bad about that? Nope, not one little bit. Hot women marry nerdy men all the time and most people just assume the guy must be rich. I don't know what people assume about our situation. The truth is, we both have strengths and weaknesses. One of my main weaknesses just happens to be visible to everyone. He loves me and is devoted to me, and vice verse. That's all that matters to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Awesome!!

Beauty is superficial and a little out of your control. Enthusiastic sexual partner is completely under your control and more likely thank looks to keep a spouse happy.

I would say that when DH and I met, we were about even. Now that I've had 2 kids and put one some weight, which is slowly coming off, some people may see us and wonder. We have sex regularly and DH does like my body, but I think there are days when the stresses of life show on my face and I'm not as carefree, thus not as attractive, as I once was.

DH does like to check himself out in the mirror, dude has an ego for sure. When we've went through rough spells in our sex life, he gets angry because he's thinks to himself "I'm a good looking guy. I deserve to get laid. It's not like nobody would want to be with me." It's clear he has a selfish streak and as the youngest in a large family, his wants/desires for attention were often indulged. Most of the time it's amusing but some days it's downright annoying. Get your head out of your ass, it's not all about you.

I'm 6 years older than my very good looking husband. We get looks...

I love it! He's hot! And, he loves me.

Op: have confidence in your love, that is what's sexy.

Anonymous wrote:I agree - why so insecure?

We will all age. With that comes change. Some of us handle it better than others, but by 70, none of us is a supermodel. Don't you think your DH knew that before you got married? Try to imagine this: he loves you for who you are, not what you look like.

+1.

Anonymous wrote:15:38 count yourself lucky.

My ex walked out on us after claiming I didn't look the same after 14 years. He was always selfish but hid it and I didn't want to acknowledge it. One kid has some SN and he said family life was not as "fun" as he expected. Can you imagine?

The thing that hurt most was not having that shared sense of history and realizing how emotionally disconnected he was during it anyway. I am fortunate that the kids are doing ok and I have some very caring long time friends.

We're about the same hotness OP. Watch out for those midlife crises. Why don't you and DH try taking up a new passion together - photography, ballroom dancing, etc?

I know I'm lucky, but there were certain traits that were total dealbreakers. I knew I needed a shirt off his back kind of guy who really wanted to be committed to a family, because I am nice, but not that person and wanted him to help me grow. He has all kinds o' baggage but it's all manageable.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Perhaps you are hotter than he is.

Anonymous wrote:15:38 count yourself lucky.

My ex walked out on us after claiming I didn't look the same after 14 years. He was always selfish but hid it and I didn't want to acknowledge it. One kid has some SN and he said family life was not as "fun" as he expected. Can you imagine?

The thing that hurt most was not having that shared sense of history and realizing how emotionally disconnected he was during it anyway. I am fortunate that the kids are doing ok and I have some very caring long time friends.

We're about the same hotness OP. Watch out for those midlife crises. Why don't you and DH try taking up a new passion together - photography, ballroom dancing, etc?

I swore my husband would never do this and he loved it. It was a good workout and he really liked meeting the other people in the class. Do it.

15:38 count yourself lucky.

My ex walked out on us after claiming I didn't look the same after 14 years. He was always selfish but hid it and I didn't want to acknowledge it. One kid has some SN and he said family life was not as "fun" as he expected. Can you imagine?

The thing that hurt most was not having that shared sense of history and realizing how emotionally disconnected he was during it anyway. I am fortunate that the kids are doing ok and I have some very caring long time friends.

We're about the same hotness OP. Watch out for those midlife crises. Why don't you and DH try taking up a new passion together - photography, ballroom dancing, etc?

PP with curvy/glasses wife, I think you've talked about her before... sounds hot to me.