I have two different kids with two different tolerances for new foods/ new textures/ spice levels.

Despite all my efforts, my oldest likes everything simple. My 3yr old will eat food so spicy it could burn the paint off a car.

I respect their different tastes and make dinner modifications for my oldest and feed my youngest what we are eating. I don't think it is healthy to battle your kids over food. With that said, we do no eat processed foods (or things like mac-n-cheese) so everyone is getting a healthy well rounded meal.

BTW, as a mom to an older child, I can ASSURE you your children's tastes will change. Food they loved in the past they might end up hating and food they hated, they end up loving.

I also am not a huge fan of ellyn satter. I think it works for a certain amount of children, but when I tried it with my DD, she didn't eat a bite of the regular meal, ate bread or apple sauce (or whatever "kid friendly option that I put there) for a good solid week and got incredibly constipated.

Doesn't work for everyone. My DD is now 5 and she's a really good eater. Come up with a plan that works for you and your family and stick to it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, I have never heard of Ellen Satter, nor have read her books. I am extremely rigid about dinner, I do no short order cooking. They either eat it or they don't. I think that I started this around age 2. Personally I think 1 is too young, and I would focus on giving him a selection of appopriate foods that he will actually eat. You can also add in things from your dinner table just to have him try it.

I of course don't force my children to eat all their dinner, but I still use the must eat one bite of everything method with great success in my house. Sometimes kids get it into their minds they won't like something, then they try it, and they realize it tastes good.

PP, can you say more about how you get them to even try one bite? Short of jamming it forcefully into their mouths, I'm not sure how you accomplish this. I agree- once our kids actually try something, they often times like it, but it's the getting them to try it the first time which is hard. We don't do dessert so I can't use that as a stick/carrot.

Offer fruit and vanilla yogurt (full fat is delicious!) as dessert. Sometimes we'll also do dark chocolate. Or find some other carrot--make a chart. If they follow the one bite rule M-F, they get to choose a movie/special outing for the weekend.

OK, I ilke the idea about the chart and movie/outing. We actually do fresh fruit with every meal and the kids know it's not dessert, but I like the chart idea. Do you think 2 and 4 are ages where they'll "get it?"

The four year old will get it, not the two year old. For that age, you need a more immediate carrot. How about a *special* fruit like carambola or stickers?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, I have never heard of Ellen Satter, nor have read her books. I am extremely rigid about dinner, I do no short order cooking. They either eat it or they don't. I think that I started this around age 2. Personally I think 1 is too young, and I would focus on giving him a selection of appopriate foods that he will actually eat. You can also add in things from your dinner table just to have him try it.

I of course don't force my children to eat all their dinner, but I still use the must eat one bite of everything method with great success in my house. Sometimes kids get it into their minds they won't like something, then they try it, and they realize it tastes good.

PP, can you say more about how you get them to even try one bite? Short of jamming it forcefully into their mouths, I'm not sure how you accomplish this. I agree- once our kids actually try something, they often times like it, but it's the getting them to try it the first time which is hard. We don't do dessert so I can't use that as a stick/carrot.

Offer fruit and vanilla yogurt (full fat is delicious!) as dessert. Sometimes we'll also do dark chocolate. Or find some other carrot--make a chart. If they follow the one bite rule M-F, they get to choose a movie/special outing for the weekend.

Yes, we use bribery to get him to try things...a single gummy bear (actually we often bribe him with his chewable vitamins...he hasn't caught on yet) or if its a particularly "weird" food a t.v. show or something else that he has in his mind he wants to do.

Anonymous wrote:For pp with limited time, crock pot soups and stews. They either eat it, or they don't get to eat. I do mix in a bit of either brown rice or quinoa pasta if I think it will help them eat the soup. No "cooking what they like". I don't want to raise adults who only eat grilled cheese or burgers and fries, who have never tasted an artichoke or asparagus. I also want them to get the micronutrients, omega3s and flavinoids that will enhance their health and brain development. (not just the calories of french fries).

Why do you assume picky water who are being made the food they like are eating French fries or grilled cheese? I am a new poster on this thread and I have a very picky eater who for the most part won't eat what we eat, but that doesn't mean she eats junk. She actually wilbur touch fries or Mac and cheese. She will eat veggies and meat and pasta and brown rice as long as they are plain. I don't have time when we are home from work to start cooking a meal (and when I have expended the energy I have been punished with a child who won't eat (and who has problems gaining weight as is). She absolutely will not touch soup so crock pots are useless. So what is the harm in whipping up some steamed veggies and plain pasta or cut up chicken breast for her? It is healthy but it is not necessarily what my husband and I want to eat (we prefer salads and spicy pastas and food my dd will not touch). We rarely eat with her given the rush to get her fed and to bed when we get home from work, so we usually eat afterward.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, I have never heard of Ellen Satter, nor have read her books. I am extremely rigid about dinner, I do no short order cooking. They either eat it or they don't. I think that I started this around age 2. Personally I think 1 is too young, and I would focus on giving him a selection of appopriate foods that he will actually eat. You can also add in things from your dinner table just to have him try it.

I of course don't force my children to eat all their dinner, but I still use the must eat one bite of everything method with great success in my house. Sometimes kids get it into their minds they won't like something, then they try it, and they realize it tastes good.

PP, can you say more about how you get them to even try one bite? Short of jamming it forcefully into their mouths, I'm not sure how you accomplish this. I agree- once our kids actually try something, they often times like it, but it's the getting them to try it the first time which is hard. We don't do dessert so I can't use that as a stick/carrot.

Offer fruit and vanilla yogurt (full fat is delicious!) as dessert. Sometimes we'll also do dark chocolate. Or find some other carrot--make a chart. If they follow the one bite rule M-F, they get to choose a movie/special outing for the weekend.

OK, I ilke the idea about the chart and movie/outing. We actually do fresh fruit with every meal and the kids know it's not dessert, but I like the chart idea. Do you think 2 and 4 are ages where they'll "get it?"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, I have never heard of Ellen Satter, nor have read her books. I am extremely rigid about dinner, I do no short order cooking. They either eat it or they don't. I think that I started this around age 2. Personally I think 1 is too young, and I would focus on giving him a selection of appopriate foods that he will actually eat. You can also add in things from your dinner table just to have him try it.

I of course don't force my children to eat all their dinner, but I still use the must eat one bite of everything method with great success in my house. Sometimes kids get it into their minds they won't like something, then they try it, and they realize it tastes good.

PP, can you say more about how you get them to even try one bite? Short of jamming it forcefully into their mouths, I'm not sure how you accomplish this. I agree- once our kids actually try something, they often times like it, but it's the getting them to try it the first time which is hard. We don't do dessert so I can't use that as a stick/carrot.

Offer fruit and vanilla yogurt (full fat is delicious!) as dessert. Sometimes we'll also do dark chocolate. Or find some other carrot--make a chart. If they follow the one bite rule M-F, they get to choose a movie/special outing for the weekend.

Anonymous wrote:I have never read that book so I am not sure what she says but we have just always made one meal and eaten together. Kids can eat what they want from the meal in reasonable portions. like 23:54 I did modify /supplement for them when they were babies to make sure they had food they could eat. As soon as they could chew well and swallow well then the modifications stopped. We eat a wide range of foods with lots of different textures, flavors and spices. one of mine really doesn't like anything too spicy or flavored so I will take a bit out of the pot for her before adding extra spice. I don't really consider that short order cooking though. We don't really do dessert so can't speak to that.

We pretty much did the same, and both of my kids (3.5 and 5.5) eat a very wide variety of foods, from red caviar and tounge to asparagus and most of the veggies, all kinds of dairy products. The main rule we have, try at least a little of everything served. Even if they did not like something the first time, we try again and again, or try it in another form. Works like a charm for us. But we love food, and try new tastes all the time. Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:So, I have never heard of Ellen Satter, nor have read her books. I am extremely rigid about dinner, I do no short order cooking. They either eat it or they don't. I think that I started this around age 2. Personally I think 1 is too young, and I would focus on giving him a selection of appopriate foods that he will actually eat. You can also add in things from your dinner table just to have him try it.

I of course don't force my children to eat all their dinner, but I still use the must eat one bite of everything method with great success in my house. Sometimes kids get it into their minds they won't like something, then they try it, and they realize it tastes good.

PP, can you say more about how you get them to even try one bite? Short of jamming it forcefully into their mouths, I'm not sure how you accomplish this. I agree- once our kids actually try something, they often times like it, but it's the getting them to try it the first time which is hard. We don't do dessert so I can't use that as a stick/carrot.

I have kind of started implementing these rules. DS is sometimes adventurous (tried escargot last night...and yes, I called them snails! -- he's almost 3), but sometimes he demands french fries.

Its a bit trickier for us though because he is allergic to dairy and eggs, and while I try to make non-dairy/egg meals, sometimes DH and I really crave a Spanish omelet or pizza, and then I have to make him something different. I like the approach most of you are taking though, and I think I'm going to work harder at implementing it and not making him something different.

I've also never had him try salad before. Don't know why not, I suppose he's old enough now!

Anonymous wrote:Ok, so what if there is no "family meal"? I don't get home from work in time to cook a "real" meal for the kids who need to eat immediately (3 and 1). So I end up serving them generally what they want and then either eating what they had (pasta) or making a "real" meal later for my husband and I. I think they've definitely become more picky because of it, but I'm not sure what else to do because there's no time to cook!

can they eat your and Dh's leftovers from the night before?

With our oldest, we started feeding him the same meal as us at age 2. The baby (now 15 months) has been getting the same since she started eating. A few months ago, she went from a kid who ate anything to pretty picky, and I wondered if we should be giving her more things she would actually eat, but we persisted with our same-food-as-us approach and she's gotten much better.

I do make some modifications to accommodate both kids' preferences. I usually try to have something I know they'll recognize and eat, especially since I like to cook pretty adventurous meals that don't often repeat. So I'll throw chickpeas in the stew I'm making, and can at least be pretty confident that they'll eat the chickpea part, or whatever. We all get a salad most nights, but the ratio of veggies that go into the kids bowls might be very different than ours (lots of cucumbers, not so much lettuce). If I'm serving a veggie that the one year old can't handle well, I'll also steam some mini carrots and serve those too. We have fruit after dinner every night, so even if he eats nothing else, I know she'll eat that.

If she was our first, I'd probably still be more flexible with what I gave her, but especially with her three year old brother watching our every move, this is what works for us. Breakfast and lunch are full of foods she likes, and she gets milk before bed, so I'm not too concerned on the nights she doesn't eat much.

So, I have never heard of Ellen Satter, nor have read her books. I am extremely rigid about dinner, I do no short order cooking. They either eat it or they don't. I think that I started this around age 2. Personally I think 1 is too young, and I would focus on giving him a selection of appopriate foods that he will actually eat. You can also add in things from your dinner table just to have him try it.

I of course don't force my children to eat all their dinner, but I still use the must eat one bite of everything method with great success in my house. Sometimes kids get it into their minds they won't like something, then they try it, and they realize it tastes good.

I don't make special food but I do give mine something I know he'll eat. I'd rather do cheese, etc than bread as bread really isn't very healthy. I don't force him to eat all of anything but a bit of everything shows up on his plate. We always have some sort of fruit with dinner but no desserts. Once or twice a week we have a popsicle after dinner, a juice one. If we have cake or ice cream around I'll eat it so it is more for me than the kid.

Anonymous wrote:At what age did you start making LO eat what was served? We have family dinner every night and my 3yo basically gets what we get, but i am not sure what to do about the 1 yo who is already more fussy. He basicslly eats fruit, cheese, and turkey. Ive been giving that to him after he refuses our dinner (i try to get him to taste), but am wondering when i should stop that.

Oh, I would stop that right away. I think there are 2 things you can do: you can give your 1 yr old a different food from the beginning of the meal, or you can give him the same dinner you're getting ( I prefer the latter, when reasonable). But making it a situation of him knowing he can refuse and get something else is, in my opinion, not great for anyone in the family, esp. if you have an older child who observes this phenomenon. I'd deal with this by putting a little fruit on his tray-- and at the table for the rest of you-- at every meal. You could also do bread, as a PP and Satter suggest, or a few crackers and cheese.

Although Satter doesn't like it, if you have a picky eater from the get-go who refuses to even try new foods, I like using the one-taste rule that another dietician, Eileen Behan, suggests: your child should try a little taste of everything on his plate, but he's not forced to swallow it. He is allowed to spit it out if he doesn't like it. You can decide if this is appropriate for your family meal or not, but since it does often take many, many tastes for even a non-picky kid to appreciate a new food, I found this worked well for making sure my child wasn't rejecting things merely because they looked different or unfamiliar.