Anonymous wrote:I can honestly find something to talk about with just about anyone. Just ask questions. People love when they get to talk about themselves.

So true! And yes, a drink or two doesn't hurt either.

So how was it OP?

This is OP...thanks for being so kind and helpful DCUM! I think I will probably end up having a good time. Its just the anticipation/nervousness before that gets me. Ill be sure to update. Hope everybody has a good day tomorrow

Go and have a great time. Come back and let us know how it goes.

I always think that meeting people for the first time is easy. If you click, great; if you don't, what do you lose. I think it's harder to go out with people a second or third time because then you need to show that their initial impressions were right and that you are cool/worth hanging out with etc.

I agree with the PPs. You can share that you just moved here, where you're living, why you moved, where your kids are going to school etc. And then when you reach common ground, ask their input on something -- how's the local school; what gyms are good/bad etc. People like feeling like they're advising/helping.

Any sense of how big this bbq is? If it's big, making conversation becomes more important or else you and your DH will just stand in the corner together (and if that happens - just enjoy the nice day off together and don't worry about it). But if it's small -- like 20 people or less -- I think there won't be conversation pressure because people won't break off into groups. The adults will probably just end up hanging out together on the deck or whatever and a group convo will just happen (or at least the women together and the men in a differnet area). In that case, just be sure to say a little to get to know people, but it's fine if you don't want to dominate the convo. You just want people to think "they seem nice - I'd like to see them again."

I think it helps to have a few questions that you are genuinely interested in hearing the answers to. Are you wondering if there is a good gym that offers yoga? Are you wondering if there is a better supermarket in the area? Are you wondering what book to read next?

I also think it helps to listen carefully to people. If they tell you something that they do and you have no idea what they just said, don't nod, but say to them "I really didn't follow that. In layman's terms what does that mean?" If someone tells you something, ask a follow up question. A lot of people (as PPs say) think a great conversation is one in which they did most of the talking...

Can totally relate. Had to go to private school functions this year as a new, not-very-wealthy interracial family. Was so nervous that I felt sick on numerous occasions. However, we lived to tell the tale! And now know enough people to fit in. We are no longer new. Just power through. As Woody Allen says, 80% of life is just showing up.

Set expectations for yourself that you can meet; then you'll feel good after the party for meeting your goals! Tell yourself you'll talk to four new people and try to have a conversation with them. Ask where people take their kids to the park or treat, and note those bits of intel. Ask where people are from, how long they've been in DC. Talk about their kids and ask about what activities their kids participate in. Talk about the food and barbecuing in general, if you're into food at all. Ask what people did over the summer -- did they go to the beach, or vacation anywhere else; did their kids go to camp; did they get summer visitors (people love to visit you when you live in DC!). The stakes are not that high, so just try to have a good time and meet a couple of new people. If you do more than that, then it's all gravy. Have fun, OP, and know we are with you! Will you let us know how it went?

Anonymous wrote:At least you got invited somewhere!

This! Focus on the positives of being invited and meeting new people. Try to manage your anxiety and not worry so much. Have a great time! Your new friends are waiting to meet you tomorrow.

At least you got invited somewhere!