I think about punching people too. A lot. Not sure that its healthy but it empowers me. IF takes away my power but punching a bag gives me some relief. Of course everyone in my kickboxing class thinks it is bc I have stressful job... a secret second job that costs me money and pieces of my soul its called IF.

There are days where I seriously consider giving up Facebook. One of my friends just sent an email saying she's expecting her 2nd. I haven't written back yet and probably won't for a few days. I might say things about punching people too. Oops.

Just got online and saw this... my feelings exactly right now. SIL who already has a one year old called tonight to tell me she is 9 weeks pregnant, "unplanned" and "shocked" (of course). I said all the right things, but had to turn around and go home (was on my way to the store) so I could break down. And this is after I found out yesterday another friend is pregnant with her second in two years. Hubby tried to be comforting but after my 600th snotty sob of "it's not f--king fair", he just gave up. I may have also said something about wanting to punch people in the face. Oops. It helps to see this post and know that even though it seems like I am totally alone in this, there are others that don't have it easy and unplanned, either.

In the middle of my IVF treatments, my best friend had a very unplanned, unwanted pregnancy (she wanted to only have one, and the one she already had was a nightmare on wheels). She called after her 16-week ultrasound to tell me that she was having TWINS. Twin girls. I did my cheerleader routine, talked about this wonderful future she would have with her daughters, then hung up and cried for an hour. Life is hard sometimes.

oP I feel your heartache too. I do have one dc but lost a baby in May, early on. It was a shock, horrible feeling and I had mainly members expecting dc too. I see pregnant women everywhere, especially at kids events. I am apply for them but jealous. I think it is natural to feel ta way. I dread on to TTY. Good luck to you. Just know you are not alone.

I am a mom who was one of those people who got pregnant on the Pill. I cannot imagine how difficult it must make you feel to hear this type of news (women getting pregnant so easily/quickly). Just wanted to let you know that I felt like I had as little control over my body as you might be feeling about yours. It was very unplanned and it took me a while to figure out what to do (I ended up keeping the baby). The last person I told was my friend who had been TTC for many years. I told her in person with nobody else around b/c I had a feeling she would cry about it. She did and I truly felt her pain. I don't know why things happen the way they do. I've tried to have a second child and haven't been able to so I know the frustration/pain/anxiety. Best of luck to you and everyone who is trying so hard to have a baby. What good moms you will be.

Anonymous wrote:I get insanely jealous of people who get pregnant on accident or right away when trying. As much as I am happy for them, it is just hard news for me to swallow. I wish I didn't have those feelings but I just do. Sigh.

Could have written this exact thing!

OP I've been married over 3 years and am in my mid20s, struggling with IF. I know the questions about kids won't stop for 10+ years to come, especially when meeting new people. It stings and I'm sorry you're having to go through it too.

One of my best friends is 40 weeks with her first baby today and posted a picture of her ready to burst belly on fb. I called her to tell her how excited I am for her (and I truly am), then started crying after I hung up. She got pregnant within 2 months of going off the pill. I keep hoping this is a horrible nightmare that I'll wake up from.

I get insanely jealous of people who get pregnant on accident or right away when trying. As much as I am happy for them, it is just hard news for me to swallow. I wish I didn't have those feelings but I just do. Sigh.

Anonymous wrote:My friend who had miscarriages as I did always told me that babies beget babies. She just felt that each new baby out there was part of the wave of babies that would lead to her having a baby.

Maybe it's not totally rational but I don't think any of our responses to this are totally rational. If you can take her view, please do.

I kind of agree with that. Unlike many here, I don't get upset when I hear about other people's pregnancies and children. The reason is, though I haven't really spelled this out to myself before, that these are not my children, so it's not like I want to have what they are having (their children).

I am probably different from many in that I also don't care to adopt or use DE (and that I do have a child), so maybe that has something to do with it as well.

I quit Facebook after a chemical pregnancy and a second trimester loss too, for a few reasons. One, I had a whole blog posted about how some things you want don't happen right away, how sometimes we experience loss, but that the gain is that much sweeter later on. I had just one belly photo posted on Mother's Day. I had one comment about prenatal yoga. It's not like I was flaunting pregnancy, but I definitely didn't hide it. So after all that, I had a loss halfway through my pregnancy. Didn't really want others to speculate as to why I wasn't getting bigger or to make any further comments, or even to offer words of sympathy on my wall. So I promptly deactivated as soon as I found out the bad news. Now, I stay off because I don't want to hear others' pregnancy announcements. Even though I didn't suffer much in the way of IF beyond a few initial things that needed tweaking, I have still been through plenty. Like a PP, I managed to get myself back on the horse, so to speak, but have a long road yet with no guarantees, and I do get jealous of other people who are also pregnant because most could never appreciate the pain of what I have been through, and the underlying anger that probably won't abate until I hold a baby in my arms.

I have felt the same pain, OP. Before this, I never realized it was possible to feel so happy and so sad at the exact same moment.

My friend who had miscarriages as I did always told me that babies beget babies. She just felt that each new baby out there was part of the wave of babies that would lead to her having a baby.

Maybe it's not totally rational but I don't think any of our responses to this are totally rational. If you can take her view, please do.

Anonymous wrote:I don't get on FB anymore. After my son died (stillborn) I was still able to log on and participate, but generally avoided the "happy mom and baby" posts. But it's just too much. So after another late loss and 2 early miscarriages, I've determined it's better for my sanity if I don't log on anymore. It's been over a year now and it feels great.

After all, "Comparison is the thief of joy" -- Teddy Roosevelt, wise man. I try to look at the blessings right in front of me, rather than thinking about what others have.

But I'm still tempted now and then for a little peek at what could have been...

I just want to say that I admire your courage. I won't compare myself to you but will try my very best to follow your lead and think of my own blessings. Just from this one post I can tell what a strong wonderful woman you are and I'm so sorry for all you've been threw.