Anonymous wrote:Good luck, OP. Others reading this--this is why to start training earlier. Habits get much more established physically as you wait.

This.

We started putting kid on toilet after meals at age 13-14m or so. He's newly 3 and totally done. Never formally trained, never did a potty seat just toilet. Hes speech delayed to boot. Kids are smart - habits go a long way. At 2 1/2 he was maybe 90% there. Never understood the whole formal traing thing seemed over complex. Just put the kid on the toilet and they will get it after awhile.

OP here. We have success!!!!! After all of the crying and clutching tummy yesterday, she finally pooped in the toilet. I think it only happened because it was about to explode out of her anyway, but she was really working hard at it and these fat little tears were running down her cheeks as she held my hand. I swear, I couldn't have been more proud of her if she learned to read. Isn't it amazing how worked up we can get over a POOP?! And like we suspected, once she did it for the first time, she became much more comfortable. She even got out of bed last night and pooped in her little baby bjorn potty we left in her room! And she did it again today! Oh, this has been such a long road and it feels so wonderful to have turned a corner.

For the others who are still struggling, I don't think anything we did has any effect on her eventual success. She did NOT want to put her feet up on the potty to squat - she was appalled at the suggestion, even though I told her it would make it easier. She has been eating a ton of fruit, so that natural laxative probably helped keep things moving and naturally led her to figure out what the "push" feeling feels like in a sitting position. I guess if I were to do this again, I'd keep with the natural laxatives or turn to Miralax just to make sure that things are moving on their own. Thanks everyone for the suggestions.

not the OP, but we've been giving my daughter miralax for 3 days, and still no poop. she just says she doesn't have to, but used to be a once a day pooper. I didn't know miralax couldn't work?! WTF? HELP!! btw- she doesn't want a pull-up, i offered her one.

It definitely sounds like a relaxation issue. Let her sit on the little potty so she's comfy (or with the footstool as others have suggested) and let her flip through some books. There's a reason even adults like reading material in the bathroom!

Try reading her a story while she is sitting on the potty. It will relax her.

Maybe she really is constipated and it's not so much related to the toilet at all? It might help to get her relaxed so she has it easier??

My son was kind of like this too and I was squeamish about using a laxative. For us, large amounts of berries did the trick. They made his poop a lot softer and more regular. Blueberries were especially effective.

I would try an over the counter lax just to get her past this issue once. she might figure out it's possible and relax a little for next time.

...oops got cut off.

And if it's really a terrible experience for her, I wouldn't hesitate to put her back in diapers for a little while.

Hi, OP

I would recommend trying the allnatural laxitives first (prunes, other?) before going the medicated route. Avoid stopping-up foods like, um, bananas? (There's got to be a list somewhere!)

And lots of comforting and praise for her trying. Maybe also some distractions, like reading a book? (It' works for grownups *newspaperreadinghusbandimtalkingtoyou!* )

She'll get the hang of it. And if it's really a terrible experience for her