Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Getting divorced was the best thing I've ever done. It brought me a new life and lots of happiness.

People say it's difficult, and parts of it are indeed difficult. But if you're in a bad marriage, the most difficult thing is the year BEFORE the divorce. Once the decision to divorce is made, things usually get better. And better.

I agree with this. My affair partner and I are now married, and are very happy.
I didn't regret my divorce for a second.

Pretty sure I wrote this 4 years ago. Still happy. Assume ex is too. They are remarried with two kids.

Anonymous wrote:Getting divorced was the best thing I've ever done. It brought me a new life and lots of happiness.

People say it's difficult, and parts of it are indeed difficult. But if you're in a bad marriage, the most difficult thing is the year BEFORE the divorce. Once the decision to divorce is made, things usually get better. And better.

Agreed. If you're divorcing for the right reasons (abuse, etc) this is especially true.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My impression of my friend's inlaws: the FIL who had an affair and married the woman seems very happy, she's happy, etc. They've been married 9 years.

The MIL who got dumped still seems unhappy.

Are you my friend? This sounds like my inlaws.

same

. . . but second marriage lasted three times that and is still going strong

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Getting divorced was the best thing I've ever done. It brought me a new life and lots of happiness.

People say it's difficult, and parts of it are indeed difficult. But if you're in a bad marriage, the most difficult thing is the year BEFORE the divorce. Once the decision to divorce is made, things usually get better. And better.

Yes! Me too. I'm only a year out, but God, life is better. It's like I have been given a second chance.

Thank you for writing this. I've been telling friends that I was suffering in silence for two years before the separation. And that those were the worst two years of my life, along with the actual year of the divorce, which was just as bad.

After that, things have gotten so much better.

Getting close to two years out and I totally agree. Nothing was worse than those years in a dead marriage before separation, not even the divorce process. He was the one who had the affair. They're not together. He's with someone else now, as am I. Life is good. It was tough on the kids in the very beginning, but they're older, more mature and have dealt very well with the upheaval.

I'm shocked at how easy it was for me to move on after a 20+ year relationship, once I acknowledged that it was over.

60 yo. Separated from 2006-09 then divorced in 2009, it keeps getting better and better. Never met anyone. Don't care.

Beware affair partners that marry have a higher divorce rate then first long term marriage 's now thats karma sorry anything born deceit in dark secret Won't make it in light of day remember if they cheat with you they will cheat on you its a known fact .

Anonymous wrote:I couldn't stand being married one more minute if I didn't know that I had my affair partner. he's the reason I get up in the morning.

feel about the same way except that mine is not physical. strange enough my marriage is much better now than before because 1) I am much happier 2) dw is more willing to please me

Anonymous wrote:I couldn't stand being married one more minute if I didn't know that I had my affair partner. he's the reason I get up in the morning.

Seriously? You suck and are a coward! I hope you/your true love don't have kids.

Anonymous wrote:Getting divorced was the best thing I've ever done. It brought me a new life and lots of happiness.

People say it's difficult, and parts of it are indeed difficult. But if you're in a bad marriage, the most difficult thing is the year BEFORE the divorce. Once the decision to divorce is made, things usually get better. And better.

Yes! Me too. I'm only a year out, but God, life is better. It's like I have been given a second chance.

Thank you for writing this. I've been telling friends that I was suffering in silence for two years before the separation. And that those were the worst two years of my life, along with the actual year of the divorce, which was just as bad.

After that, things have gotten so much better.

My Mil is widowed and still bitter, though likely less bitter than if he had lived longer. What say you? Arsenic?

21:44 - i feel the same way, but have recently gotten so paranoid about someone finding out that i called it quits with him. i am so sad.

I couldn't stand being married one more minute if I didn't know that I had my affair partner. he's the reason I get up in the morning.

So sorry about your cancer.

But, I cannot imagine how you thought your affair partner's kids were going to accept you?

No way.

Of course, he would choose them after they found out about the affair. Affairs get out. They aren't secret forever.

So now, you have uprooted your life, divorced your DH (who chose not to have an affair, but nonetheless stayed in the marriage for your cancer treatments), disappointed your kids, lost your house, and your reputation.

Yours is a cautionary tale.

What goes around, comes around.

My very good friend cheated on his wife and got caught. Wife kicked him to the curb. He stayed with his affair partner for 8 years and then they married. Two years after being married she left him for another woman.

He is 60 and all alone. His son speaks to him but his daughter, not so much. Sucks!

He is a nice guy - just bad decisions.

I'm closer to 50. I have had an affair with my "love of my life" from age 21 for the past 7 years. He left his wife and kids for me. I came down with cancer and stayed with my husband for health care reasons. I have 4 children. I am now a month away from getting divorced and my affair partner for 7 years just broke it off with me. I am in the process of selling my house, uprooting my children, I carry the letter "A" around my neck (figuratively) in this neighborhood, for what? My affair partner told me that his kids would not accept me (he disclosed me to his wife-who in turn told the kids) and he needed to choose them over me.

I still have a couple of years of cancer treatment to go through, I will have no house soon and have 4 kids. He said he needed them to feel as if they were a priority.

I still love him. I can't go back to my husband-we have both moved on emotionally-Any suggestions? Has anyone had to deal with this? I am broken hearted