Anonymous
Post 08/08/2012 17:05     Subject: What to do to friend who invited 2 "others" to our wedding without our permission?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Could they be from another culture? We have friends who are Filipino and they had 20 extra people at their wedding! They were expecting it because they said its their culture to bring grandmothers, cousins, good friends, etc.
They ran out of food and the grooms mother had to have someone bring her food from somewhere else


Interesting. I am the prior poster with the guest who invited three more and then no-showed, and the invited guest was Filipino.


In thinking about this more, it makes me sad to think that invited guest didn't realize her faux pas and not show up. Although that was the wrong way to handle it, I did value that friendship and miss it.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2012 17:02     Subject: What to do to friend who invited 2 "others" to our wedding without our permission?
Anonymous wrote:Could they be from another culture? We have friends who are Filipino and they had 20 extra people at their wedding! They were expecting it because they said its their culture to bring grandmothers, cousins, good friends, etc.
They ran out of food and the grooms mother had to have someone bring her food from somewhere else


I was wondering if it could be cultural as well. My DH is from a culture where a guest inviting more people would not be an issue.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2012 16:56     Subject: What to do to friend who invited 2 "others" to our wedding without our permission?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would probably have said something fakily sweet like, "Oh! My! What a surprise to see you, JimBob and MaryEllen! We weren't expecting you!"


I don't understand either this or the other passive aggressive poster. How is it the guest's fault? They were invited by the other person. You can be mad at that person, but not at those who might not have known. Also, once they are a guest, they are a guest and you should treat them as such. This type of response is just classless.


You are so wrong because all adults know that you don't attend a wedding unless you are an invited guest period.Especially in this area where things are so expensive.Am sure even the guest knew that it is a bad habit to crash some one else's wedding.this is common knowledge everywhere.


All adults? Really? I agree that this is common knowledge in our culture, but you must be very sheltered to believe that all adults actually know our norms.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2012 16:52     Subject: What to do to friend who invited 2 "others" to our wedding without our permission?
Anonymous wrote:Could they be from another culture? We have friends who are Filipino and they had 20 extra people at their wedding! They were expecting it because they said its their culture to bring grandmothers, cousins, good friends, etc.
They ran out of food and the grooms mother had to have someone bring her food from somewhere else


Interesting. I am the prior poster with the guest who invited three more and then no-showed, and the invited guest was Filipino.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2012 16:50     Subject: What to do to friend who invited 2 "others" to our wedding without our permission?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would probably have said something fakily sweet like, "Oh! My! What a surprise to see you, JimBob and MaryEllen! We weren't expecting you!"


I don't understand either this or the other passive aggressive poster. How is it the guest's fault? They were invited by the other person. You can be mad at that person, but not at those who might not have known. Also, once they are a guest, they are a guest and you should treat them as such. This type of response is just classless.


Classless is not looking at the invitation to intuit whether it is a formal, invited affair, or a come-one-come-all hoedown. If it was the latter, then, yes, my response would be classess. But it sounds like it was more of the former.


Clearly the person who extended the invitation was rude (or ignorant), but those who were invited by her were not necessarily, so you would be an absolutely rude host to insult them, either passively or directly.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2012 16:41     Subject: What to do to friend who invited 2 "others" to our wedding without our permission?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would probably have said something fakily sweet like, "Oh! My! What a surprise to see you, JimBob and MaryEllen! We weren't expecting you!"


I don't understand either this or the other passive aggressive poster. How is it the guest's fault? They were invited by the other person. You can be mad at that person, but not at those who might not have known. Also, once they are a guest, they are a guest and you should treat them as such. This type of response is just classless.


You are so wrong because all adults know that you don't attend a wedding unless you are an invited guest period.Especially in this area where things are so expensive.Am sure even the guest knew that it is a bad habit to crash some one else's wedding.this is common knowledge everywhere.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2012 16:40     Subject: What to do to friend who invited 2 "others" to our wedding without our permission?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would probably have said something fakily sweet like, "Oh! My! What a surprise to see you, JimBob and MaryEllen! We weren't expecting you!"


I don't understand either this or the other passive aggressive poster. How is it the guest's fault? They were invited by the other person. You can be mad at that person, but not at those who might not have known. Also, once they are a guest, they are a guest and you should treat them as such. This type of response is just classless.


Classless is not looking at the invitation to intuit whether it is a formal, invited affair, or a come-one-come-all hoedown. If it was the latter, then, yes, my response would be classess. But it sounds like it was more of the former.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2012 16:39     Subject: What to do to friend who invited 2 "others" to our wedding without our permission?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would probably have said something fakily sweet like, "Oh! My! What a surprise to see you, JimBob and MaryEllen! We weren't expecting you!"


I don't understand either this or the other passive aggressive poster. How is it the guest's fault? They were invited by the other person. You can be mad at that person, but not at those who might not have known. Also, once they are a guest, they are a guest and you should treat them as such. This type of response is just classless.


OH, okay, then I would have said something to the guest who invited them, "OH! My! What a surprise to see JimBob and MaryEllen as well, Herbie Hancock and Sadie Sue!!"

LOL.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2012 16:39     Subject: What to do to friend who invited 2 "others" to our wedding without our permission?
I think it was rude or at least socially oblivious, but really, there's nothing to do but let it go and move on.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2012 16:38     Subject: What to do to friend who invited 2 "others" to our wedding without our permission?
Could they be from another culture? We have friends who are Filipino and they had 20 extra people at their wedding! They were expecting it because they said its their culture to bring grandmothers, cousins, good friends, etc.
They ran out of food and the grooms mother had to have someone bring her food from somewhere else
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2012 16:37     Subject: Re:What to do to friend who invited 2 "others" to our wedding without our permission?
Let it go.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2012 16:37     Subject: What to do to friend who invited 2 "others" to our wedding without our permission?
Anonymous wrote:I would probably have said something fakily sweet like, "Oh! My! What a surprise to see you, JimBob and MaryEllen! We weren't expecting you!"

My thoughts exactly...LoL
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2012 16:36     Subject: What to do to friend who invited 2 "others" to our wedding without our permission?
Anonymous wrote:I would probably have said something fakily sweet like, "Oh! My! What a surprise to see you, JimBob and MaryEllen! We weren't expecting you!"


I don't understand either this or the other passive aggressive poster. How is it the guest's fault? They were invited by the other person. You can be mad at that person, but not at those who might not have known. Also, once they are a guest, they are a guest and you should treat them as such. This type of response is just classless.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2012 16:34     Subject: What to do to friend who invited 2 "others" to our wedding without our permission?
I would probably have said something fakily sweet like, "Oh! My! What a surprise to see you, JimBob and MaryEllen! We weren't expecting you!"
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2012 16:31     Subject: Re:What to do to friend who invited 2 "others" to our wedding without our permission?
I would never speak with such a person.