Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually admire you.

Somewhat secretly I really wonder how we got ourselves into this mess in the first place. let me explain. 2 years of trying naturally, always tense in the ovulation time, we got so focused in just making a baby, instead of intimacy. wondering this is it, its this month. Then nothing.

Fast forward, 2 years of IUI, IVF, still nothing. Tons of money spent-stress, low times, up times, weekends early am spent in Rockville (was with SG). Then nothing. All the disappointments, alternative therapies you read about, always in the look out for what is new, what is everyone saying, acupuncture ( super expensive). This herb and that herb, this freaking mayan massage and that. still nothing....alas all the people you meet along the way of this road trip, this acupuncturist that herbalist, etc. all of them with their own stories.

you decide its time to move to another clinic, more testing, looking for answers, may be you thin you have immune issues, so you test and you test....more money..

in the meantime you look back at the past few years, you are 15 pounds heavier due to all the Goanl f this and that, Proges, Estro, etc. You have become familiar with that painful look in your husbands face every time he has to give you that injection, and you aching in pain after the trigger shots and the nasty herbal stuff.

so I guess what I am saying is, I admire you. When you start, its a never ending road, you move like a ghost from one clinic to another.. always wondering what you can do...its all fine..but be ready for the trip.

this is so me...totally understand what you are saying...really cant wait for this nightmare to end and hope it does for you soon as well!

Anonymous wrote:Severe MF and "old eggs" here.. we did do the initial workup(s) and meeting with the RE- but decided that we did not want to go down the IVF/ICIS road. Adoption also was not for us. We found "the questions" pretty much stopped after a couple of years. I am now 40 and my DH 47 and people no longer ask us about children. Good luck to you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We conceived #1 so easily, I just assumed #2 would be easy as well. I think already having our daughter helps having unexplained secondary infertility not be as all consuming. We don't have a ton of money laying around to pursue treatments, anyway, so we couldn't go down that road even if we wanted to. I also developed thyroid disease after having our child, so I'm not a big fan of extra medications - even if we do decide to go forward with treatment, it would be through IUI ONLY. I'm not even sure I WANT to be pregnant again. I would probably go right to adoption if I thought my husband would be OK with that.

I'm honestly starting to think we're one and done - we've been trying for 2 years on our own and nothing. Our kid is already 6.5. I'm 35. Do we still have time? Sure. Is my heart in it? I'm not sure. We shall see.

If adoption feels right to you, you don't HAVE to do treatments. Only you and your husband can determine what is best for you. Don't let society tell you what the right sequence of events should be.

Agree. Though we should also note that society often tells you to "just adopt".

I agree that society often says "just adopt" but wanted to add that as an adoptive parent, we also get snide and rude remarks from people who don't understand WHY we'd want to adopt. People who make comments about us not being our kids' "real" parents, etc. I guess if you don't build your family in a non-traditional way, whether you have fertility problems or not, people are going to judge you regardless.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We conceived #1 so easily, I just assumed #2 would be easy as well. I think already having our daughter helps having unexplained secondary infertility not be as all consuming. We don't have a ton of money laying around to pursue treatments, anyway, so we couldn't go down that road even if we wanted to. I also developed thyroid disease after having our child, so I'm not a big fan of extra medications - even if we do decide to go forward with treatment, it would be through IUI ONLY. I'm not even sure I WANT to be pregnant again. I would probably go right to adoption if I thought my husband would be OK with that.

I'm honestly starting to think we're one and done - we've been trying for 2 years on our own and nothing. Our kid is already 6.5. I'm 35. Do we still have time? Sure. Is my heart in it? I'm not sure. We shall see.

If adoption feels right to you, you don't HAVE to do treatments. Only you and your husband can determine what is best for you. Don't let society tell you what the right sequence of events should be.

Agree. Though we should also note that society often tells you to "just adopt".

I agree that society often says "just adopt" but wanted to add that as an adoptive parent, we also get snide and rude remarks from people who don't understand WHY we'd want to adopt. People who make comments about us not being our kids' "real" parents, etc. I guess if you don't build your family in a non-traditional way, whether you have fertility problems or not, people are going to judge you regardless.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We conceived #1 so easily, I just assumed #2 would be easy as well. I think already having our daughter helps having unexplained secondary infertility not be as all consuming. We don't have a ton of money laying around to pursue treatments, anyway, so we couldn't go down that road even if we wanted to. I also developed thyroid disease after having our child, so I'm not a big fan of extra medications - even if we do decide to go forward with treatment, it would be through IUI ONLY. I'm not even sure I WANT to be pregnant again. I would probably go right to adoption if I thought my husband would be OK with that.

I'm honestly starting to think we're one and done - we've been trying for 2 years on our own and nothing. Our kid is already 6.5. I'm 35. Do we still have time? Sure. Is my heart in it? I'm not sure. We shall see.

If adoption feels right to you, you don't HAVE to do treatments. Only you and your husband can determine what is best for you. Don't let society tell you what the right sequence of events should be.

Agree. Though we should also note that society often tells you to "just adopt".

Anonymous wrote:We conceived #1 so easily, I just assumed #2 would be easy as well. I think already having our daughter helps having unexplained secondary infertility not be as all consuming. We don't have a ton of money laying around to pursue treatments, anyway, so we couldn't go down that road even if we wanted to. I also developed thyroid disease after having our child, so I'm not a big fan of extra medications - even if we do decide to go forward with treatment, it would be through IUI ONLY. I'm not even sure I WANT to be pregnant again. I would probably go right to adoption if I thought my husband would be OK with that.

I'm honestly starting to think we're one and done - we've been trying for 2 years on our own and nothing. Our kid is already 6.5. I'm 35. Do we still have time? Sure. Is my heart in it? I'm not sure. We shall see.

If adoption feels right to you, you don't HAVE to do treatments. Only you and your husband can determine what is best for you. Don't let society tell you what the right sequence of events should be.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I decided not to pursue fertility treatments and adoption is not for us. I feel like I'm in a very small minority. Any of you take the "if it happens, it happens" approach?

I think you are in a small minority because we live in a culture of instant gratification. I admire your ability to accept what life gives you and make the best of it.

When we were diagnosed with male IF, I fell into a deep depression and lost a close friend who was pregnant at the time. Since there was no chance we'd ever conceive without IVF and ICSI, "if it happens" was never an option, but I'm too much of an impatient, control freak to go that route. I truly regret how I let the IF take over my life. I'm glad you are living yours.

Anonymous wrote:I actually admire you.

Somewhat secretly I really wonder how we got ourselves into this mess in the first place. let me explain. 2 years of trying naturally, always tense in the ovulation time, we got so focused in just making a baby, instead of intimacy. wondering this is it, its this month. Then nothing.

Fast forward, 2 years of IUI, IVF, still nothing. Tons of money spent-stress, low times, up times, weekends early am spent in Rockville (was with SG). Then nothing. All the disappointments, alternative therapies you read about, always in the look out for what is new, what is everyone saying, acupuncture ( super expensive). This herb and that herb, this freaking mayan massage and that. still nothing....alas all the people you meet along the way of this road trip, this acupuncturist that herbalist, etc. all of them with their own stories.

you decide its time to move to another clinic, more testing, looking for answers, may be you thin you have immune issues, so you test and you test....more money..

in the meantime you look back at the past few years, you are 15 pounds heavier due to all the Goanl f this and that, Proges, Estro, etc. You have become familiar with that painful look in your husbands face every time he has to give you that injection, and you aching in pain after the trigger shots and the nasty herbal stuff.

so I guess what I am saying is, I admire you. When you start, its a never ending road, you move like a ghost from one clinic to another.. always wondering what you can do...its all fine..but be ready for the trip.

Anonymous wrote:I actually admire you.

Somewhat secretly I really wonder how we got ourselves into this mess in the first place. let me explain. 2 years of trying naturally, always tense in the ovulation time, we got so focused in just making a baby, instead of intimacy. wondering this is it, its this month. Then nothing.

Fast forward, 2 years of IUI, IVF, still nothing. Tons of money spent-stress, low times, up times, weekends early am spent in Rockville (was with SG). Then nothing. All the disappointments, alternative therapies you read about, always in the look out for what is new, what is everyone saying, acupuncture ( super expensive). This herb and that herb, this freaking mayan massage and that. still nothing....alas all the people you meet along the way of this road trip, this acupuncturist that herbalist, etc. all of them with their own stories.

you decide its time to move to another clinic, more testing, looking for answers, may be you thin you have immune issues, so you test and you test....more money..

in the meantime you look back at the past few years, you are 15 pounds heavier due to all the Goanl f this and that, Proges, Estro, etc. You have become familiar with that painful look in your husbands face every time he has to give you that injection, and you aching in pain after the trigger shots and the nasty herbal stuff.

so I guess what I am saying is, I admire you. When you start, its a never ending road, you move like a ghost from one clinic to another.. always wondering what you can do...its all fine..but be ready for the trip.

Anonymous wrote:DH and I decided not to pursue fertility treatments and adoption is not for us. I feel like I'm in a very small minority. Any of you take the "if it happens, it happens" approach?