Love the gender bias depending on whether the man or the woman has the low libido.

Low libido husband: He's gay! He's addicted to porn! It's a medical problem! You need to lose weight!

Low libido wife: You don't help around the house! You need to woo her! She's cheating! Send her to the spa! She needs a girls night out!

I agree - the accusations fly easily on this website....I weigh exactly the same as when I got married - same clothing size - 16 years and (drunk) sex (both of us) once in the past year....

Good advice from the PP, about possible medical/addiction problems. I had a bf who went from being a sex machine to never being interested. It turned out he was using drugs, which was effecting his abilty to perform and his libido. Urge your DH to see a medical doctor to rule out any problems.

Sorry OP, i hope that book helps. Are you sure he isn't hiding a problem in shame ? By that I mean maybe there is a medical issue he is hiding he knows about like having a tough time keeping an erection and so he avoids it at all costs? There are many possible physical causes from heart disease, to antidepressants, to alcohol or drug use, to low levels of testosterone. If he’s ruled out other factors it’s a good idea for him to pay a visit to his doctor.

My husband hasn't initiated sex in at least a year, and i think he's taken me up on my attempts to initiate maybe once in all that time. Thanks to the PP who recommended that book, the Sex Starved Wife -- I'm going to have to give that a read. I can't believe how much this sucks, and how I never even thought this would be possible in my (our) life. Of course I knew about dry spells, but years? fuck that.