Anonymous wrote:OP here. I have been really thinking about this. Maybe what I will do is activate it and give it to her when she goes out of the neighborhood. I am just going to have to look and see what kind of phone we are dealing with and how much the minutes cost. When DD called yesterday she was on her grandparent's cell phone in the middle of nowhere. The reception wasn't good at all so I couldn't ask a lot of questions.

DH has left the decision up to me but said it would be very rude not to activate it. That the friend had given this to the kids and she would find out if we didn't let them use it. The real benefit I could think of is that the in laws would be able to call the kids directly.

what is rude us giving that sort of gift to child without first checking with the parents.
she may have no I'll intent, but you are not obligated to use it.
I do not care if this particular cultural norm says otherwise.
if she gave the kid weed would she have to smoke it?
this is crazy.

Oh, I know who she will call. ME!! From her bedroom. "Mommy, can I have some water." "Mommy can the dog sleep with me?" "Mommy, I can't sleep, I'm not tired yet."

Who will she call? Really?

Anonymous wrote:I'm 24 and I have a 11 year old sister who just got an iphone for her birthday from my grandparents. I didn't get a cell phone until I graduated 8th grade! Kids do get them very young now though. My sister is one of the last of her friends to get a phone. I don't think a 11 year old needs a phone..let alone a 8 year old!

The above post cracks me up.

I'm 43 and didn't get a cell phone until my fiance (now husband) gave me his old one because I was traveling 300+ miles on I-95 by myself several times a month. I was 30.

I didn't get a smart phone until last year.

I have survived.

OP, I hesitate even activtating the phone now for your daughter. I am wondering if she will (a) have anyone to talk to or (b) just go around the neighborhood showing other 8-year-old kids (like mine) and then they come home saying "I need a phone because Betsy has one!"

Anonymous wrote:I would activate it and the kids can earn the minutes to use it...

so if its pay as you go give them a chore and pay them for it and they can buy minutes.

if they are big enough for a cell phone they are old enough to earn or help pay for minutes

They will use their allowance to pay for the minutes. If I activate it.

I would activate it and the kids can earn the minutes to use it...

so if its pay as you go give them a chore and pay them for it and they can buy minutes.

if they are big enough for a cell phone they are old enough to earn or help pay for minutes

Anonymous wrote:

DH has left the decision up to me but said it would be very rude not to activate it. That the friend had given this to the kids and she would find out if we didn't let them use it. The real benefit I could think of is that the in laws would be able to call the kids directly.

I'd be more worried about raising your child the way you want than hurting the feelings of a family friend who's clearly overstepped the boundaries here. A cell at 8 seems more like a hassle than anything else. The minutes expire, and you'll have to keep track of who's calling/texting her. Sounds like a creepy gift from someone who wants more access to your child. Don't get pushed into something you never wanted for your child.

Anonymous wrote:I'm 24 and I have a 11 year old sister who just got an iphone for her birthday from my grandparents. I didn't get a cell phone until I graduated 8th grade! Kids do get them very young now though. My sister is one of the last of her friends to get a phone. I don't think a 11 year old needs a phone..let alone a 8 year old!

I'm 36 and tell my kids I didn't get a cell phone until I was 25. They were (obviously) around before then but I was happy with home number and an answering machine. I wasn't married yet, and didn't have children, so I didn't need to be available all the time. Especially with work.

OP here. I have been really thinking about this. Maybe what I will do is activate it and give it to her when she goes out of the neighborhood. I am just going to have to look and see what kind of phone we are dealing with and how much the minutes cost. When DD called yesterday she was on her grandparent's cell phone in the middle of nowhere. The reception wasn't good at all so I couldn't ask a lot of questions.

DH has left the decision up to me but said it would be very rude not to activate it. That the friend had given this to the kids and she would find out if we didn't let them use it. The real benefit I could think of is that the in laws would be able to call the kids directly.

I'm 24 and I have a 11 year old sister who just got an iphone for her birthday from my grandparents. I didn't get a cell phone until I graduated 8th grade! Kids do get them very young now though. My sister is one of the last of her friends to get a phone. I don't think a 11 year old needs a phone..let alone a 8 year old!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grandparent's friend gave it to her? Isn't that a little like getting a pet for someone else's DC? Why did they give her one? Did DD ask for one? You don't have to accept it.

Grandma gave it to her and told her to say it came from a "friend" silly, because grand ma KNEW it would annoy Mom.

No it came from the friend. My MIL would never give this to the kids. This friend id alwys giving the kids stuff. Usually its money but she has given an inappropriate gift before. She doesn't have any grandchildren.

I am just going to hold onto the phone for a couple of years.

You should secretly stash it in your car for use in emergencies.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grandparent's friend gave it to her? Isn't that a little like getting a pet for someone else's DC? Why did they give her one? Did DD ask for one? You don't have to accept it.

Grandma gave it to her and told her to say it came from a "friend" silly, because grand ma KNEW it would annoy Mom.

No it came from the friend. My MIL would never give this to the kids. This friend id alwys giving the kids stuff. Usually its money but she has given an inappropriate gift before. She doesn't have any grandchildren.

I am just going to hold onto the phone for a couple of years.

I agree, hold onto it for a few years. When you child is home, explain that it really was not appropriate for other adults to give your child a phone without permission.

To me it really depends on when there is a need, not the childs age. When my son was in 5th grade he started walking after school. We live in DC and his school is by union station. He was walking a little more than a mile to where his father was. Up to that point he had already gone on several out of town trips without us and had gone to some of his sportinng events up to an hour away with friends. He was also being dropped off for practices without either of us staying and watching. The combination of these things, especially the walking after school to me indicated a need for him to have a cell.

His younger brother of course wants a phone but there is no need. He is either with us or with friends. At 8 years old there is a lot more "watching" over kids on a playdate than of 10+ year olds. When there is a need he can get one, whatever age that may be.

Anonymous wrote:Grandparent's friend gave it to her? Isn't that a little like getting a pet for someone else's DC? Why did they give her one? Did DD ask for one? You don't have to accept it.

Grandma gave it to her and told her to say it came from a "friend" silly, because grandma KNEW it would annoy Mom.