Anonymous
08/01/2012 14:43
Subject: Tell me about being poor
Anonymous wrote:You responders make me very sad.
Um, nobody asked for your pity.
Anonymous
08/01/2012 14:43
Subject: Tell me about being poor
You responders make me very sad.
Anonymous
08/01/2012 14:33
Subject: Tell me about being poor
Anonymous wrote:My answer is kind of weird because though we weren't poor growing up, my mom was (and is) a fool with her money and it got us into the type of situations I imagine poor people get in a lot. Like one time, I remember I came home from school (maybe 9th grade) and the power was off. I called my mom at work and she said she must have forgotten to pay the bill. But she came home that day with a brand new outfit + new shoes because she was going on a date that night. And she never wanted to spend the $30 to get her oil changed, so two years after she bought her car, the engine literally blew up on the side of the road and we had car issues ever after.
My dad had plenty of money, but my sister and I were really prideful and never let him know this stuff, so he had no idea. My mom was working and getting $1000 a month from my dad in child support (in the 90s) and I believe, for a short time, alimony from her second husband whom she divorced. There was NO reason for us to not have power or to have the check she wrote to school for our yearbooks bounce. She just wasn't and never has been responsible with money.
So- we were not poor. My mom had the money, she just didn't spend it on the right shit. So we lived like poor people. Everyone at school was convinced we were rich because my sister and I were raised with really good manners, got great grades, and wore nice clothes. We came from a nice family; nobody had any suspicions that my mom was blowing all our money partying all the time and we would maybe have hot dogs for dinner one night. No buns, just hot dogs. But to this day, I believe I have the mindset of a poor person. I CANNOT put more than $15 of gas in my car at a time. Drives my DH crazy, he just fills up when the tank gets low. But I can't help but think, "What if something happens and I need the $45 and it's just sitting in my car in the form of gas?" It mentally pains me to think of pouring $60 at once into my car. Can't do it.
It doesn't matter how much money we have in our account, I'm convinced we can't afford stuff. We can. I know because sometimes DH will insist we can do something I swore we couldn't afford and lo and behold, we are fine. (FWIW, he makes six figures. WE are not poor, even now.) We drive two nice cars, but there is never a time- and I do mean never- when I get in any car and don't worry about it breaking down. Because it happened so many times in my mom's POS that she then handed down to me, so it broke down on me too. Just stuff like that that I'm sure it would never occur to people who didn't have these issues growing up to worry about.
Not OP but this is very interesting. Thank you for sharing.
Anonymous
08/01/2012 14:32
Subject: Re:Tell me about being poor
Aw, free lunch PP, I am a previous poster too, and free school lunch and breakfast likely made it so that my family didn't need to be on other public assistance. I'm grateful we had that program.
Anonymous
08/01/2012 14:25
Subject: Re:Tell me about being poor
Do you shop at WalMart?
Do you eat fast food all the time?
How big is your home?
What do you DO on weekends?
Where do you go on vacations?
Do you have very few clothes? Shoes?
If you're too poor to go out, what do you do to get together with friends?
Do you have any friends who are well off?
What do you do for fun?
What do you think is the qualifier that makes a person poor?
Do your kids know you're poor?
What do they do after school?
Do they get teased in school?
Yes, we shop at Walmart
We eat fastfood occasionally
Apartment is 1 bedroom, 1 bath
Haven't been on vacation in a long time
I have quite a few clothes. Most of them were bought as GASP Walmart
I don't have any kids, so can't answer those questions
Anonymous
08/01/2012 14:22
Subject: Tell me about being poor
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow!, how can anyone be so bored as to post such a bizarre thread. Real responses would be even more shocking.
oops. Guess I'm bizarre. (I"m the PP with the long answer)
Actually, even though OP sounded rediculous, yours and others' stories are powerful and validating.
Anonymous
08/01/2012 14:19
Subject: Re:Tell me about being poor
Do you shop at WalMart?
yes
Do you eat fast food all the time?
no. its not healthy. homecooked meals from scratch
How big is your home?
we lived in homeless shelters or in the car
What do you DO on weekends?
read.
Where do you go on vacations?
we lived in los angeles. we used to drive down to san diego or drive over to las vegas. mostly local road trips.
Do you have very few clothes? Shoes?
no lots of clothes and shoes. just not expensive ones.
If you're too poor to go out, what do you do to get together with friends?
hang out and shoot the breeze or people watch.
Do you have any friends who are well off?
yes.
What do you do for fun?
work.
What do you think is the qualifier that makes a person poor?
federal poverty guidelines. my mom made between $15K -$19K when i was growing up and still does now.
Do your kids know you're poor?
yes as a child i knew. not having a bed to sleep on was a sure indicator.
What do they do after school?
do homework. make dinner for mom since she was working
Do they get teased in school?
no. everyone else at my school was poor too.
yes
Do you eat fast food all the time?
no. its not healthy. homecooked meals from scratch
How big is your home?
we lived in homeless shelters or in the car
What do you DO on weekends?
read.
Where do you go on vacations?
we lived in los angeles. we used to drive down to san diego or drive over to las vegas. mostly local road trips.
Do you have very few clothes? Shoes?
no lots of clothes and shoes. just not expensive ones.
If you're too poor to go out, what do you do to get together with friends?
hang out and shoot the breeze or people watch.
Do you have any friends who are well off?
yes.
What do you do for fun?
work.
What do you think is the qualifier that makes a person poor?
federal poverty guidelines. my mom made between $15K -$19K when i was growing up and still does now.
Do your kids know you're poor?
yes as a child i knew. not having a bed to sleep on was a sure indicator.
What do they do after school?
do homework. make dinner for mom since she was working
Do they get teased in school?
no. everyone else at my school was poor too.
Anonymous
08/01/2012 14:08
Subject: Re:Tell me about being poor
I grew up very poor. My father was a janitor. He was home from work every day by 4:00 and we went bike riding or went swimming at the lake. We all sat at the dinner table at 6:00 and ate a home cooked meal together. My mom always took me to the library and did crafts with me. I understand the value of hard work and taking nothing for granted.
I'm extremely well off financially now. However, my husband gets home at 8:00 every night just as my children are going to bed. I have a high stress job and feel overextended much of the time. We sit for a meal as a family only once a week. The only real quality time we have as a family is on the weekends. I worry that my kids don't have nearly as special a childhood as I did.
I'm extremely well off financially now. However, my husband gets home at 8:00 every night just as my children are going to bed. I have a high stress job and feel overextended much of the time. We sit for a meal as a family only once a week. The only real quality time we have as a family is on the weekends. I worry that my kids don't have nearly as special a childhood as I did.
Anonymous
08/01/2012 13:48
Subject: Re:Tell me about being poor
Do you shop at WalMart? No. There was no Walmart at that time (late 70s and 80s). But we did shop at Family Dollar, hunt yard sales, and at thrift stores we could afford.
Do you eat fast food all the time? We couldn't afford to eat out. We lived off of food stamps (the paper ones, not the "card").
How big is your home? I grew up in a single-parent home (w/ mother), 5 children. Our "home" was a 3 bedroom trailer - no running water/electricity/mailbox/vehicle.
What do you DO on weekends? We stayed at home and ran around our yard/neighborhood. Drank a lot of Kool Aid and ate a lot of government cheese during the summer (I missed school because we qualified for free breakfast and lunch).
Where do you go on vacations? Never went on a vacation with my family. But we were lucky to live near a river and me and my brothers swam there during the summers.
Do you have very few clothes? Shoes? We had very few shoes. Mom purchased shoes from Family Dollar and due to the quality they did not last very long. Even though I tried hard to take good care of them. When I got older, I was very self-conscious of my shoes (and clothes), but I never gave mom a hard time about it -- I knew we couldn't afford anything more.
If you're too poor to go out, what do you do to get together with friends? We hung out in the neighborhood - played kick ball, basketball, baseball, swam, played marbles, and sat under shade trees (no AC in the house).
Do you have any friends who are well off? When I got older (~11 or 12) I worked for a farmer. I thought he was rich -- now I know better. Being rich or "well off" is relative.
What do you do for fun? I enjoyed family and friends. But, most of all, I recall how much I enjoyed having alone time -- retreats into the woods or to the river. I'm a runner, so I knew how to make quick and silent exits. c:
What do you think is the qualifier that makes a person poor? Free lunch eligibility in school. It was critical for me -- both mentally and physically. However, back then, schools made it very obvious who the free lunch kids were. But hey, you swallow your pride when you're hungry enough. No one ever teased me about free breakfast/lunch, but you knew that your classmates knew you were poor. I know some people oppose paying taxes for subsidized lunch programs, but please know the provisions mean a lot to many children who don't have.
Do your kids know you're poor? I knew we were poor. I think most children in poverty learn this early on -- their parents don't have to tell them.
What do they do after school? We went home -- mom did not work, but she was not always around when we got there, either. You grow up fast in this kind of environment. Poverty is most often debilitating. Few, few can rise above it.
Do they get teased in school? I got teased about my clothes and shoes, at times. But I don't recall anything over the top. I know there were bullies around, but for the most part, kids have hearts.
Do you eat fast food all the time? We couldn't afford to eat out. We lived off of food stamps (the paper ones, not the "card").
How big is your home? I grew up in a single-parent home (w/ mother), 5 children. Our "home" was a 3 bedroom trailer - no running water/electricity/mailbox/vehicle.
What do you DO on weekends? We stayed at home and ran around our yard/neighborhood. Drank a lot of Kool Aid and ate a lot of government cheese during the summer (I missed school because we qualified for free breakfast and lunch).
Where do you go on vacations? Never went on a vacation with my family. But we were lucky to live near a river and me and my brothers swam there during the summers.
Do you have very few clothes? Shoes? We had very few shoes. Mom purchased shoes from Family Dollar and due to the quality they did not last very long. Even though I tried hard to take good care of them. When I got older, I was very self-conscious of my shoes (and clothes), but I never gave mom a hard time about it -- I knew we couldn't afford anything more.
If you're too poor to go out, what do you do to get together with friends? We hung out in the neighborhood - played kick ball, basketball, baseball, swam, played marbles, and sat under shade trees (no AC in the house).
Do you have any friends who are well off? When I got older (~11 or 12) I worked for a farmer. I thought he was rich -- now I know better. Being rich or "well off" is relative.
What do you do for fun? I enjoyed family and friends. But, most of all, I recall how much I enjoyed having alone time -- retreats into the woods or to the river. I'm a runner, so I knew how to make quick and silent exits. c:
What do you think is the qualifier that makes a person poor? Free lunch eligibility in school. It was critical for me -- both mentally and physically. However, back then, schools made it very obvious who the free lunch kids were. But hey, you swallow your pride when you're hungry enough. No one ever teased me about free breakfast/lunch, but you knew that your classmates knew you were poor. I know some people oppose paying taxes for subsidized lunch programs, but please know the provisions mean a lot to many children who don't have.
Do your kids know you're poor? I knew we were poor. I think most children in poverty learn this early on -- their parents don't have to tell them.
What do they do after school? We went home -- mom did not work, but she was not always around when we got there, either. You grow up fast in this kind of environment. Poverty is most often debilitating. Few, few can rise above it.
Do they get teased in school? I got teased about my clothes and shoes, at times. But I don't recall anything over the top. I know there were bullies around, but for the most part, kids have hearts.
Anonymous
08/01/2012 13:48
Subject: Re:Tell me about being poor
I was poor growing up, but am not poor now.
Do you shop at WalMart? - No. I grew up in a city. There wasn't one.
Do you eat fast food all the time? No, I didn't. It's cheaper to eat at home, and it isn't good for you.
How big is your home? - One bedroom apt. Mom, dad and 2 kids. Parents slept on a sleeper sofa in the living room.
What do you DO on weekends? Go to parks, the library etc.
Where do you go on vacations? To my great aunt's house in the country. It was free and pretty, and she was really nice.
Do you have very few clothes? Shoes? Yes, I did.
If you're too poor to go out, what do you do to get together with friends? We had people over, watched TV.
Do you have any friends who are well off? No. Some of our extended family members were better off.
What do you do for fun? Rode my bike (second hand). Went to the park or the library.
What do you think is the qualifier that makes a person poor? - Need to think about and evaluate almost every single purchase before making it.
Do your kids know you're poor? - I knew I was, yes.
What do they do after school? - stayed at my grandma's house
Do they get teased in school? - not for being poor. It was a poor school district, so most people were in the same situation.
Do you shop at WalMart? - No. I grew up in a city. There wasn't one.
Do you eat fast food all the time? No, I didn't. It's cheaper to eat at home, and it isn't good for you.
How big is your home? - One bedroom apt. Mom, dad and 2 kids. Parents slept on a sleeper sofa in the living room.
What do you DO on weekends? Go to parks, the library etc.
Where do you go on vacations? To my great aunt's house in the country. It was free and pretty, and she was really nice.
Do you have very few clothes? Shoes? Yes, I did.
If you're too poor to go out, what do you do to get together with friends? We had people over, watched TV.
Do you have any friends who are well off? No. Some of our extended family members were better off.
What do you do for fun? Rode my bike (second hand). Went to the park or the library.
What do you think is the qualifier that makes a person poor? - Need to think about and evaluate almost every single purchase before making it.
Do your kids know you're poor? - I knew I was, yes.
What do they do after school? - stayed at my grandma's house
Do they get teased in school? - not for being poor. It was a poor school district, so most people were in the same situation.
Anonymous
08/01/2012 13:46
Subject: Tell me about being poor
My answer is kind of weird because though we weren't poor growing up, my mom was (and is) a fool with her money and it got us into the type of situations I imagine poor people get in a lot. Like one time, I remember I came home from school (maybe 9th grade) and the power was off. I called my mom at work and she said she must have forgotten to pay the bill. But she came home that day with a brand new outfit + new shoes because she was going on a date that night. And she never wanted to spend the $30 to get her oil changed, so two years after she bought her car, the engine literally blew up on the side of the road and we had car issues ever after.
My dad had plenty of money, but my sister and I were really prideful and never let him know this stuff, so he had no idea. My mom was working and getting $1000 a month from my dad in child support (in the 90s) and I believe, for a short time, alimony from her second husband whom she divorced. There was NO reason for us to not have power or to have the check she wrote to school for our yearbooks bounce. She just wasn't and never has been responsible with money.
So- we were not poor. My mom had the money, she just didn't spend it on the right shit. So we lived like poor people. Everyone at school was convinced we were rich because my sister and I were raised with really good manners, got great grades, and wore nice clothes. We came from a nice family; nobody had any suspicions that my mom was blowing all our money partying all the time and we would maybe have hot dogs for dinner one night. No buns, just hot dogs. But to this day, I believe I have the mindset of a poor person. I CANNOT put more than $15 of gas in my car at a time. Drives my DH crazy, he just fills up when the tank gets low. But I can't help but think, "What if something happens and I need the $45 and it's just sitting in my car in the form of gas?" It mentally pains me to think of pouring $60 at once into my car. Can't do it.
It doesn't matter how much money we have in our account, I'm convinced we can't afford stuff. We can. I know because sometimes DH will insist we can do something I swore we couldn't afford and lo and behold, we are fine. (FWIW, he makes six figures. WE are not poor, even now.) We drive two nice cars, but there is never a time- and I do mean never- when I get in any car and don't worry about it breaking down. Because it happened so many times in my mom's POS that she then handed down to me, so it broke down on me too. Just stuff like that that I'm sure it would never occur to people who didn't have these issues growing up to worry about.
My dad had plenty of money, but my sister and I were really prideful and never let him know this stuff, so he had no idea. My mom was working and getting $1000 a month from my dad in child support (in the 90s) and I believe, for a short time, alimony from her second husband whom she divorced. There was NO reason for us to not have power or to have the check she wrote to school for our yearbooks bounce. She just wasn't and never has been responsible with money.
So- we were not poor. My mom had the money, she just didn't spend it on the right shit. So we lived like poor people. Everyone at school was convinced we were rich because my sister and I were raised with really good manners, got great grades, and wore nice clothes. We came from a nice family; nobody had any suspicions that my mom was blowing all our money partying all the time and we would maybe have hot dogs for dinner one night. No buns, just hot dogs. But to this day, I believe I have the mindset of a poor person. I CANNOT put more than $15 of gas in my car at a time. Drives my DH crazy, he just fills up when the tank gets low. But I can't help but think, "What if something happens and I need the $45 and it's just sitting in my car in the form of gas?" It mentally pains me to think of pouring $60 at once into my car. Can't do it.
It doesn't matter how much money we have in our account, I'm convinced we can't afford stuff. We can. I know because sometimes DH will insist we can do something I swore we couldn't afford and lo and behold, we are fine. (FWIW, he makes six figures. WE are not poor, even now.) We drive two nice cars, but there is never a time- and I do mean never- when I get in any car and don't worry about it breaking down. Because it happened so many times in my mom's POS that she then handed down to me, so it broke down on me too. Just stuff like that that I'm sure it would never occur to people who didn't have these issues growing up to worry about.
Anonymous
08/01/2012 13:37
Subject: Re:Tell me about being poor
I think you're pretty strange, OP, but I grew up "working poor" so I will answer.
Do you shop at WalMart? There wasn't one in our town. Shopped at goodwill and garage sales for clothes, and the regular grocery store.
Do you eat fast food all the time? It was a treat, so no.
How big is your home? 2 bedroom, 5 people
What do you DO on weekends? Sleep, play outside, watch tv, read (there were no computers then), go visit friends, get drunk (parents)
Where do you go on vacations? We didn't. Ever.
Do you have very few clothes? Shoes? I had two pairs of jeans to start 10th grade. That was the worst. I would alternate them. I usually had only 1 or two pairs of shoes per season.
If you're too poor to go out, what do you do to get together with friends? Go to their houses and hang out, the mall, the park.
Do you have any friends who are well off? Not really.
What do you do for fun? Why did you ask this three fracking times???
What do you think is the qualifier that makes a person poor? Sometimes does not have enough money for food.
Do your kids know you're poor? We did.
What do they do after school? Go to the library, come home, do homework. I did drill team in high school and paid for it with money from my summer/weekend job. I didn't do sports because I was bad at them.
Do they get teased in school? Yes.
Do you shop at WalMart? There wasn't one in our town. Shopped at goodwill and garage sales for clothes, and the regular grocery store.
Do you eat fast food all the time? It was a treat, so no.
How big is your home? 2 bedroom, 5 people
What do you DO on weekends? Sleep, play outside, watch tv, read (there were no computers then), go visit friends, get drunk (parents)
Where do you go on vacations? We didn't. Ever.
Do you have very few clothes? Shoes? I had two pairs of jeans to start 10th grade. That was the worst. I would alternate them. I usually had only 1 or two pairs of shoes per season.
If you're too poor to go out, what do you do to get together with friends? Go to their houses and hang out, the mall, the park.
Do you have any friends who are well off? Not really.
What do you do for fun? Why did you ask this three fracking times???
What do you think is the qualifier that makes a person poor? Sometimes does not have enough money for food.
Do your kids know you're poor? We did.
What do they do after school? Go to the library, come home, do homework. I did drill team in high school and paid for it with money from my summer/weekend job. I didn't do sports because I was bad at them.
Do they get teased in school? Yes.
Anonymous
08/01/2012 13:37
Subject: Tell me about being poor
OP thanks for posting this because i have been considering going poor for a while.
Anonymous
08/01/2012 13:34
Subject: Tell me about being poor
Anonymous wrote:i was a poor immigrant growing up.
Anonymous wrote:Do you shop at WalMart? No. Salvation Army.
Do you eat fast food all the time? No.
How big is your home? 2BR apartment
What do you DO on weekends? play with friends, visit family members, museums
Where do you go on vacations? didn't go on a lot of vacations, but went to the Pacific NW once
Do you have very few clothes? Shoes? not a lot
If you're too poor to go out, what do you do to get together with friends? hung out, went to the movies
Do you have any friends who are well off? yes, had a scholarship to a private school
What do you do for fun? now? hang out with family, workout.
What do you think is the qualifier that makes a person poor? my parents worried a lot about paying bills.
Do your kids know you're poor? yes, i knew when i was growing up.
What do they do after school? sports, hang out with friends.
Do they get teased in school? i did. as i got older, it got better.
I always watch movies about really poor people and this whole lifestyle just fascinates me.
as someone pointed out, it's not a "lifestyle." i didn't choose it. it was what it was. i don't consider myself poor now and looking back, yes, we were "poor" financially. but i never really wanted for anything, i was fed, housed, clothed and LOVED. maybe it wasn't always the right pair of shoes, but who cares now?
I have the same experience as the poster above. I never thought I was poor, but I do remember loving the "grunge" phase, where shopping at thrift shops was cool. During that phase, I had more clothes than ever because I could buy so much more than shopping with friends at the mall. It really is the way my parents raised me, because yeah, sometimes it sucked that I didn't spend any money when out with friends, but I was still able to enjoy being out (i.e. was not embarrassed, or maybe too naive to know the difference between who was spending what). As for the fast food question, no, we didn't eat fast food all the time. We hardly ate any fast food, as eating cooked meals from home was cheaper. We never bought bottled water / soda... always waited to get home and drink water. i also agree with the other poster who said that with money now, time and money is spent on good food and new experiences.
I was just as happy growing up as I am now (with a lot more money). I think in my situation growing up, it wasn't necessarily that we were really poor, but the fact that my parents were good at managing what little money they had. And I say this because they do have some retirement money. Not enough, but nonetheless, they tried to save.
This post sounds offensive, but I see where OP is coming from. I think that's why people pay to visit the slums in foreign countries when they are on vacation.
Anonymous
08/01/2012 13:31
Subject: Re:Tell me about being poor
To me the qualifier for poor is that we have gotten government assistance, and to be honest, still need help from others to provide food, clothing, shelter for the family. I am definitely poor now.
Do you shop at WalMart? - no. I'm poor, but I still have ethics. I do sometimes (twice a year maybe) go to Target
Do you eat fast food all the time? we never eat fast food. the food quality is shit.
How big is your home? - tiny. One bedroom apartment in a building owned by a slumlord - it used to be a residential hotel.
What do you DO on weekends? I work at my 2nd job, run errands, and get organized for the upcoming week
Where do you go on vacations? We don't go on vacations. Occasionally one of the people who own a house I clean will ask me to house-sit while they go on vacation. That feels like a vacation because there is a bathtub.
Do you have very few clothes? Shoes? Yes. I have two pairs of jeans. I buy them (one regular wash, one dark wash) at Old Navy with a coupon when they have big sales - day after Christmas) 2 pairs of shoes - we buy almost all clothes at GoodWill. Thank you so much for donating there.
If you're too poor to go out, what do you do to get together with friends? Barely ever have time to get together with friends, but meet at the nearby park, go for a walk somewhere pretty, have people over
Do you have any friends who are well off? I have a few friends who are better off than I am so to me they seem "rich" but they wouldn't say they're rich
What do you do for fun? teach my DD to cook, play with her - we don't get enough time together
What do you think is the qualifier that makes a person poor? - answered above
Do your kids know you're poor? - yes, she knows. she's in elementary school but she knew before kindergarten
What do they do after school? - the school has an after-care program. she goes to that until i pick her up after work
Do they get teased in school? - she doesn't get teased, but in 1st grade a girl asked if she ice skates and when my DD said no the girl said, "My mommy says it's because you're poor." My dd replied "Well your mommy shouldn't have said that." It breaks my heart every time I think of that.
Do you shop at WalMart? - no. I'm poor, but I still have ethics. I do sometimes (twice a year maybe) go to Target
Do you eat fast food all the time? we never eat fast food. the food quality is shit.
How big is your home? - tiny. One bedroom apartment in a building owned by a slumlord - it used to be a residential hotel.
What do you DO on weekends? I work at my 2nd job, run errands, and get organized for the upcoming week
Where do you go on vacations? We don't go on vacations. Occasionally one of the people who own a house I clean will ask me to house-sit while they go on vacation. That feels like a vacation because there is a bathtub.
Do you have very few clothes? Shoes? Yes. I have two pairs of jeans. I buy them (one regular wash, one dark wash) at Old Navy with a coupon when they have big sales - day after Christmas) 2 pairs of shoes - we buy almost all clothes at GoodWill. Thank you so much for donating there.
If you're too poor to go out, what do you do to get together with friends? Barely ever have time to get together with friends, but meet at the nearby park, go for a walk somewhere pretty, have people over
Do you have any friends who are well off? I have a few friends who are better off than I am so to me they seem "rich" but they wouldn't say they're rich
What do you do for fun? teach my DD to cook, play with her - we don't get enough time together
What do you think is the qualifier that makes a person poor? - answered above
Do your kids know you're poor? - yes, she knows. she's in elementary school but she knew before kindergarten
What do they do after school? - the school has an after-care program. she goes to that until i pick her up after work
Do they get teased in school? - she doesn't get teased, but in 1st grade a girl asked if she ice skates and when my DD said no the girl said, "My mommy says it's because you're poor." My dd replied "Well your mommy shouldn't have said that." It breaks my heart every time I think of that.