Anonymous wrote:Please don't do it. If you want a more suburban feel or more space there are a Loy of other options between Arlington and Ashburn. Even if you are not the one commuting, you and your kids will be the ones waiting for your husband to get home every day.

There are some great options in places like Annandale, Falls Church and Springfield for people who either can't afford or don't like Arlington, but have come to realize how draining a long commute to DC can be. Ashburn to Tysons is OK; Ashburn to DC is insane.

We live on the western edge of Herndon right off of 28, so we are basically in Ashburn in terms of the commute comparison, and I can tell you it is pretty bad. My DH commutes to DC and I commute to Tysons. Mine is fine. HIs is arduous, and it really affects all of our lives. Even though I also work, I am the parent 24-7 for five days a week, b/c he has to wake up before the kids wake up, and he gets home after they are in bed. I do EVERYTHING: wake up, get dressed, brush teeth, breakfast, get kids in car, get kids to daycare, go straight to my work, work for 9 hours, leave, go straight to pick up kids, do the entire evening routine, bedtime. Suffice it to say, sometimes it feels like kids and I are living one life, and DH is living another. It is superhard to reconnect back on the weekends, and I can definitely tell at least one of my daughters doesn't have as close of a relationship to him as to me because of this. It will definitely affect your entire life, so I definitely think that you both should have a decision in this. It will affect your family as a whole, so make sure to think out all of these permutations. PS We originally lived on Capitol Hill (him) and Arlington (me) before we got married, and we are dying to move in closer again once we can afford to. Until then, it is like we are just holding our collective breaths and treading water, telling ourselves, "This too shall pass. This too shall pass. This too shall pass."

Anonymous wrote:What about those commuting buses ? I heard they were pretty comfy and with Wi-Fi so one can actually work on the way home.

True, but still brutal in terms of time.

We are in Arlington but have friends out in that area. The DH would leave at 5 to drive to the commuter bus and from there it was an hour to work. Same thing in the evening. He worked 9hr days to get every other Friday off, but on those days he was gone from the house for 12+hrs/day. She SAH and likes it out there for that reason. Huge house compared to our's but that isn't a trade-off that I'd want to make for our family.

IF only one parent did the commute. IF that parent could work "off hours" to take advantage of I-66 (e.g. 6am-2:30pm). IF that parent could telecommute one or more days week. Then and only then it might be worth it.

What about those commuting buses ? I heard they were pretty comfy and with Wi-Fi so one can actually work on the way home.

I live in Leesburg, However, I work in IT, where there are plenty of jobs from Tysons on west. I wouldn't commute from Leesburg/Ashburn any further in than Arlington -- and even then only if I could work from 6-3 or the such.

Metro is a sure thing, the Loudoun Board of Supervisors approved it in a 5-4 vote. Nonetheless, it won't come out until 2018.

Is Ashburn itself appealing to you, or would you consider Stafford County (near Fredericksburg), or Urbana (near Frederick)? Would you consider living in DC's edge towns (Leesburg, Frederick, Fredericksburg, Warrenton, or Annapolis)? You'll find it's different living in an area that's had a separate history for 200+ years than living in "random suburban subdivision."

I assume you've worked out the budgetary issues.

To be honest, if it's shiny new suburbia you want, and hubby's job/career is pretty DC-centric, I'd be looking at places along the MARC or VRE lines, e.g. Urbana, Gainesville, or Stafford. But those only work if your hubby is able to work 8-5 or fairly close to it.

Anonymous wrote:

Why should he get a bigger vote? His being absent affects her, too.

If PP is SAH, she can do that anywhere, including areas closer in where the commute won't make her husband's life hell and frankly, will be a better investment.

not always a better investment
An older home will need more repairs and upkeep and all of that costs money, and if you have to compromise on the kind of home you need to be happy in, and the neighborhood, you will just be miserable.

Please don't do it. If you want a more suburban feel or more space there are a Loy of other options between Arlington and Ashburn. Even if you are not the one commuting, you and your kids will be the ones waiting for your husband to get home every day.

My friend lives there and commutes in. She carpools with several other people at work so she only has to drive in 1-2 days a week and they can take 66 which is HOV. That being said, I think it is a 45 -60 min drive on a normal day and 1 1/2 hours if there is rain/snow. She does telework two days a week which helps. She loves Ashburn though. One thing is if you end up driving, it is getting quite expensive to do the tolls, esp with the extension. The metro should help but it will be several years until it is close to Ashburn. The reston stop should be ready next year. Will likely be at least a 45 min commute but probably way more relaxing that trying to drive that way. I do think housing got hit pretty hard out there but it might have rebounded recently. I know that she can't refinance because they are under water but I don't know all the specifics. Could mean that you can get even more for your money now though! Definitely several pro and cons to consider.

Why should he get a bigger vote? His being absent affects her, too.

If PP is SAH, she can do that anywhere, including areas closer in where the commute won't make her husband's life hell and frankly, will be a better investment.

Anonymous wrote:I actually do love Ashburn for families, but the only people I know commute to Tyson's. I think the commute to DC would make your husband miserable. Also agree with renting if you're set on it.

I have several colleagues who commute to DC from Ashburn and have done so for years. However, they both have stay-at home wives and were 100% on board with moving to Ashburn. It can work, but if either spouse commuting to DC already had reservations I would not do it. Traffic only seems to get worse in this area and feeling pressured into accepting a long commute will not be a positive thing. The Silver Line is still years away.

I actually do love Ashburn for families, but the only people I know commute to Tyson's. I think the commute to DC would make your husband miserable. Also agree with renting if you're set on it.

We are in the far flung suburbs of montgomery county
It works perfectly when you do not work in DC
Can you not find another job further out? Unless you are earning above the market rate, it really is not worth it to work in DC.
We moved here for the sake of the kids and the school system. You really need to have a reason other than a 'house' to move out.

God, don't do it. I have a friend who does it. She takes a bus that goes directly downtown and, even then, it is soul crushing.

I live in Reston and couldn't imagine doing it from my house.

Why should he get a bigger vote? His being absent affects her, too.

You've already got good schools in Arlington. You might be able to afford more house in Ashburn, but you will never see it or your kids because you will be spending all your time commuting.

What I took from OP's post is that her husband will be the only one doing the commuting. If that is the case, I would say that his opinion should be weighted more heavily in this decision.