If the friend isn't open to doing family-centered activities, then I can't see much beyond casual FWB for the two.

In which case, why be so hung up on him being married?

He's married. Otherwise, she'd be able to see him on at least some weekends. The van doesn't mean squat, maybe he does car pool or something. Is your friend open to doing family centered activities, the zoo, the park, the pool? If no, then I could see him keeping his distance but odds are, he's married.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ You wish.

Nope. Part of her salary indirectly goes towards my spousal support!

^ You wish.

Nope, I'm serious. It's a bit unusual, but it's working out pretty well for me. She pays everything for my ex - and because of that, he agreed to a lot of SS, way more than he could have afforded on his own. I want her to stick around forever. Or at least for the next six years.

I say he's married...minivan??? Seriously?? Even with 2 kids?? I say BS!!

OP,

Maybe he dated someone and brought her into their world too early and is taking it slow. If the kids live nearby and there's an open-door policy ... At some point, if it's serius, he'll invite her into his world.

That said, it is your friend's life. Butt out -- unless she seeks advice. If you were right, if something turns out to be off, hold your tongue and don't tell her so.

one easy thing--look up property records. he could still be married and the only one on the house, but ....

If he said hehad been divorced for five years, he is lying. He is married and is cheating on his wife.

Anonymous wrote:Good grief this is classic dating for a divorced parent. Slow. Busy on weekends. It is not good for the children to see a girlfriend here and a girlfriend there.

Is he older? How long's he been living in his own home?

OP here: he's in mid-40s, has been divorced for 5 years, and his kids are 10 & 12. My friend has never been to his house but "knows" where he lives because he told her that he lives on X street in Y neighborhood when they first met. They've now been dating about 7 months. I've never met him because he's never available to hang out and between work and his kids he only has limited time to even see my friend who seems to be falling (or has fallen) in love with this guy (she talks about him constantly but doesn't have many details about his life -- for example, when she mentioned that he was driving a minivan, she couldn't answer any of my follow-up questions like does his ex-wife have two minivans so that she could loan him one; if the ex has a car and a minivan, why didn't he ask to borrow the car instead; or if the ex only has a minivan, why would she loan it to him while his car was being repaired and have nothing for herself to drive, etc. The whole thing sounds weird to me but I could tell that my questions were starting to make my friend angry/resentful (she's never been married but would love to be and I've been happily married 10+ years -- so you can imagine the dynamics of our relationship) which is why I dropped the topic with her and posted to DCUM instead .

PP here, the behavior reminded me of a guy I dated, similar story minus the kids. He was, instead, away every weekend helping his parents build a weekend house in Lewes and super busy. At a certain point there was too much BS, and I ended it--we never actually slept together, thankfully, but we had spent some time together, all during the week, and he 'opened up' to me a lot, which I now realize is just a huge bunch of BS. I just did some sleuthing and of course he is married. His wife's FB page has two adorable girls on it.

Motherfucker. You weren't even hot.

I would like to say divorced and taking it slow except.....well, what is the custody situation? If they trade weekends, then he would presumably have some weekends with no kids, which would be exactly when he might pursue dating. So, I'm a little suspicious, esp since she's NEVER been to his house. I mean, yes the kids might come and go, but if they're tweens it's unlikely they would show up at 9:30 pm, for example.

Good grief this is classic dating for a divorced parent. Slow. Busy on weekends. It is not good for the children to see a girlfriend here and a girlfriend there.

Is he older? How long's he been living in his own home?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ You wish.

Nope. Part of her salary indirectly goes towards my spousal support!

^ You wish.

Anonymous wrote:^ You wish.

Nope. Part of her salary indirectly goes towards my spousal support!

^ You wish.

It's probably my ex-husband, cheating on his new soon-to-be wife.