To the people who say they don't have much energy left after work and family activities, don't you feel lonely? Or does family time take away the loneliness? Or is your DH/sibling your best friend?

I feel lonely even though I have family - I miss girlfriend time and would love to socialize with my baby and friends and their babies..

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I am an introvert and a "sloth". People exhaust me. I have a few very good friends and some acquaintances and I honestly don't have the time or the energy for more. Just reading about the endless girls' weekends, sorority meetups, mommy get-togethers and vineyard tours people post about on FB are exhausting to me. Hanging out with my family with the occasional dinner out with a friend or two here and there are plenty for me. But I know I am probably in the minority here.

I totally agree with this. After work, PTA, and family activities, I just don't have much energy left.

No. Its exhausting and too many fake people out there.

Anonymous wrote:When I was growing up my parents were part of a group of 7-8 families or so. We went away for weekends together and spent every holiday together. I wish my kids were having that sort of experience.

OP here - Yes, this is precisely what I am missing and what a few of my friends have in other cities. I too had this growing up, more so relatives than friends. However, now, I try to initiate a coffee or something with women I meet, but no one takes it up.

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have a very large social circle. DH grew up here and I went to grad school here. Both of us also have jobs where we meet a lot of people in the same age group who have kids. However, of that social circle, maybe 3 or 4 are real, close, and true friends. I'm talking the kind of friends that we can share ups and downs with, and lean on for support during tough times - the kinds of friends who have our backs.

All of which is to say, just because a lot of people show up at your parties or because you get a lot of invites to "do stuff" doesn't mean that you have a ton of the kind of friends that really make friends worth having. Quality over quantity is the way to look at these things, I think.

This is us. We are really social and go to a lot of parites. But I would hardly call the guests or hosts good friends. I have a few really close girlfriends that have been there for me through thick and thin and they are who really matter. That being said though, I enjoy socializing and going out, so am also grateful for the party "friends."

To the OP seeking a large circle. It's taken me 8 years in this area to get this big circle and having kids was a huge help. I've had to be really really proactive to make it happen, so just know that these things don't happen overnight and they will take work on your part. That's the bummer about this area. It helps too if you live in a social neighborhood. If you don't, trying moving. Seriously...it's worth it.

DH and I have a very large social circle. DH grew up here and I went to grad school here. Both of us also have jobs where we meet a lot of people in the same age group who have kids. However, of that social circle, maybe 3 or 4 are real, close, and true friends. I'm talking the kind of friends that we can share ups and downs with, and lean on for support during tough times - the kinds of friends who have our backs.

All of which is to say, just because a lot of people show up at your parties or because you get a lot of invites to "do stuff" doesn't mean that you have a ton of the kind of friends that really make friends worth having. Quality over quantity is the way to look at these things, I think.

I am very envious of people with a large social circle. It's the thing I'm most envious of right now, as a matter of fact. That and people who have local family in the area. DH and I moved here 5 years ago from out of state, knowing no one here and having no local family. It has been a struggle to make friends and a semblence of a social circle. I have made two good friends but don't feel connected here. I wish I had a social circle but it hasn't happened yet. We spend every holiday and celebration alone and it is very depressing. So yes, I definitely do envy people with a large social circle.

Anonymous wrote:I have a large social circle that's much bigger than I realized. I was planning a party and inviting only the people I know well (and their families) and my list was at 90. My group of friends has known each other for many years and I am the newest in the group having joined three or four years ago.
My kids are changing schools and I can only imagine the circle getting bigger. Oddly enough I am a pretty social person but I prefer small groups. I like to have just a couple of ladies over for wine vs. a large party.

Bad news honey, these are not "friends"

no, that would be empty and exhausting

Yes, I have a relative who has tons of friends, goes on vacations with 3,4,5 couples and their kids, is always going to and having parties. I really wish I had more close girlfriends and made the time to get together with the couples we know and like. Partly, it costs money to host dinner parties and I'm feeling cash strapped. Also, it means cleaning my house which is always messy. Sometimes I really want to organize social events but it also takes time and energy which is in short supply. But I do want to work on developing my social circle.

No, not at all. I'm relatively introverted and have no desire to have a huge social circle. Keeping up with so many people and being the center of it all is so exhausting that it doesn't seem worth it. I have a few very close friends and that works for me.

When I was growing up my parents were part of a group of 7-8 families or so. We went away for weekends together and spent every holiday together. I wish my kids were having that sort of experience.

I am 36 and single and have spent most of my life with zero friends. (I was a really, really weird kid. I almost pass for normal now, with a few big quirks.) Social media has helped a LOT in terms of having people to talk with, though even now I have fewer than 100 FB friends, and half those are relatives.

Anyway, all that to say I do not want a "large" social circle, because I wouldn't be comfortable with that, but I would like a bigger social circle than I currently have. I have about two people who ... well, I can call them to shoot the shit on the phone. I see one about once a year and the other more often but not socially.

I'd like to have more friends so that when I want to try a restaurant I don't have to go by myself with a book. So that I'd always have someone to go to the movies with. So when something funny or exciting happens I'd have somebody to call and tell. So during the winter I could go for a walk after work and have someone to go with and it'd be safe. So I had people to be with on holidays. I am lonely.

I am at the point now where I have enough acquaintances through Twitter & FB that I can see how other people have friends, and realize just how much I'm missing.

I'm boot jealous, more curious about how well these people know each other, whether they're the kind of friends you call to help you move or whatever, whether f they're really friends or more of what I would consider acquaintances.

Anonymous wrote:yes.

Me too.