Anonymous
Post 07/18/2012 13:22     Subject: How to tell your husband to lose weight/get in better shape?
Anonymous wrote:My wife isn't overweight really but she's gotten flabby since our son was born. I understand the exhaustion of having a child and how hard it is to eat right and stay in shape, but I am simply not attracted to the way she looks anymore. I, on the other hand, bounced right back after the baby; I got back into really great shape. I work out like crazy (at nights when, yes, sometimes I'd rather be sleeping or relaxing). I eat very healthy. I mean, I am super toned and look better than pre-baby. I have tried everything to give her subtle hints. I only buy healthy foods, but she simply eats too much. I try to serve her correct portion sizes, but she'll just go back for seconds. I tell her how great I feel when I work out, how much more energy I have, etc. and have suggested that we trade off nights of working out, or I offered if she prefers morning work outs, I could wake her up earlier. She hasn't taken any hints at all. I feel like it is just plain laziness. She will sit around for 2 hours and play on the computer or read a book at night, but she won't make an effort to go out even for a 2 mile run. It doesn't make sense to me. Should I be more direct? I don't want to be mean, but how do I address this? I would never cheat on her, but I have to admit, I find myself fantasizing about other women who look better.


This is a brilliant parody! You can't MAKE a person want to work out like a fiend or eat wheat berries all day long. This passive-aggressive crap is not going to work.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2012 13:14     Subject: How to tell your husband to lose weight/get in better shape?
DH is in very good shape for a guy in his 50's - no gut and toned. And I'll be honest about it, I like him that way. He watches what he eats and a lot of the time turns down dessert. My problem with this is that the OP seems to want the DH to be like here. Maybe he isn't into fitness big-time like her.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2012 13:07     Subject: How to tell your husband to lose weight/get in better shape?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My husband isn't overweight really but he's gotten flabby since our son was born. I understand the exhaustion of having a child and how hard it is to eat right and stay in shape, but I am simply not attracted to the way he looks anymore. I, on the other hand, bounced right back after the baby; I lost all baby weight almost immediately and got back into really great shape. I work out like crazy (at nights when, yes, sometimes I'd rather be sleeping or relaxing). I eat very healthy. I mean, I am super toned and look better than pre-baby. I have tried everything to give him subtle hints. I only buy healthy foods, but he simply eats too much. I try to serve him correct portion sizes, but he'll just go back for seconds. I tell him how great I feel when I work out, how much more energy I have, etc. and have suggested that we trade off nights of working out, or I offered if he prefers morning work outs, I could wake him up earlier. He hasn't taken any hints at all. I feel like it is just plain laziness. He will sit around for 2 hours and play on the computer or read a book at night, but he won't make an effort to go out even for a 2 mile run. It doesn't make sense to me. Should I be more direct? I don't want to be mean, but how do I address this? I would never cheat on him, but I have to admit, I find myself fantasizing about other men who look better.


Women like you are the reason I do not recommend marriage for men. Everything is me. me. me, me, me, me.


OH PLEASE!!! You don't think men fantasize about women who look better??? Hmmm...the porn industry must be doing really poorly then.

There is nothing wrong with fantasizing. And honestly, looks matter to some people. I don't love my DH any less, but I also don't want him to let himself go. For looks, health and activity level. Maybe I'm a little shallow in that regard, but I have to say I have plenty of personality traits and things in my life that are not. But to say looks don't matter at all to me...I'd be flat out lying. I also know my DH's physical potential and I also know he has more energy and feels better when he works out.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2012 13:07     Subject: How to tell your husband to lose weight/get in better shape?
Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why everyone is pouring it on the OP. Newsflash, it's not just men who would like a physically appealing spouse. She's just being honest about the way she feels, but because she is the woman saying this she is a bitch?? Yeah, whatever.


I think people have a problem with her saying that she was fantasizing about being with other men who were in better condition, but would not have an affair. If she just kept it to she likes to stay in shape and so should he, you would not have seen the outcry.
ThatSmileyFaceGuy
Post 07/18/2012 13:06     Subject: How to tell your husband to lose weight/get in better shape?
Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why everyone is pouring it on the OP. Newsflash, it's not just men who would like a physically appealing spouse. She's just being honest about the way she feels, but because she is the woman saying this she is a bitch?? Yeah, whatever.


Because it's only 10 pounds. 10 pounds is barely noticable on most men.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2012 12:54     Subject: How to tell your husband to lose weight/get in better shape?
I don't understand why everyone is pouring it on the OP. Newsflash, it's not just men who would like a physically appealing spouse. She's just being honest about the way she feels, but because she is the woman saying this she is a bitch?? Yeah, whatever.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2012 11:54     Subject: How to tell your husband to lose weight/get in better shape?
Bottom line, in the OP's own words, he gained 10 lbs., and she is no longer attracted to him.

So much for the vow of "For better or worse". God forbid he gets some serious illness, or involved in a car crash. She will toss him out like an old fish!
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2012 11:30     Subject: How to tell your husband to lose weight/get in better shape?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My husband isn't overweight really but he's gotten flabby since our son was born. I understand the exhaustion of having a child and how hard it is to eat right and stay in shape, but I am simply not attracted to the way he looks anymore. I, on the other hand, bounced right back after the baby; I lost all baby weight almost immediately and got back into really great shape. I work out like crazy (at nights when, yes, sometimes I'd rather be sleeping or relaxing). I eat very healthy. I mean, I am super toned and look better than pre-baby. I have tried everything to give him subtle hints. I only buy healthy foods, but he simply eats too much. I try to serve him correct portion sizes, but he'll just go back for seconds. I tell him how great I feel when I work out, how much more energy I have, etc. and have suggested that we trade off nights of working out, or I offered if he prefers morning work outs, I could wake him up earlier. He hasn't taken any hints at all. I feel like it is just plain laziness. He will sit around for 2 hours and play on the computer or read a book at night, but he won't make an effort to go out even for a 2 mile run. It doesn't make sense to me. Should I be more direct? I don't want to be mean, but how do I address this? I would never cheat on him, but I have to admit, I find myself fantasizing about other men who look better.


Women like you are the reason I do not recommend marriage for men. Everything is me. me. me, me, me, me.


OH PLEASE!!! You don't think men fantasize about women who look better??? Hmmm...the porn industry must be doing really poorly then.

There is nothing wrong with fantasizing. And honestly, looks matter to some people. I don't love my DH any less, but I also don't want him to let himself go. For looks, health and activity level. Maybe I'm a little shallow in that regard, but I have to say I have plenty of personality traits and things in my life that are not. But to say looks don't matter at all to me...I'd be flat out lying. I also know my DH's physical potential and I also know he has more energy and feels better when he works out.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2012 00:03     Subject: How to tell your husband to lose weight/get in better shape?
You must have a very specific "type" to have lost your attraction to him over 10 lbs.
I can somewhat relate, though. You might call me a hypocrite for marrying DH at this weight, but I'm no longer attracted to him. He's the same weight as when I met him (about 80 lbs overweight) but I was so in love with him, it didn't matter. He was also talking about wanting to lose weight, but the truth is, he's lazy and doesn't care about his health. he also has no stamena and our sex life is suffering.

I've talked to him about it, he seems sensitive and offended even though I'm gentle in how I bring it up. I've never said I'm not attracted to him, but I tell him I'm worried about his health. Obviously, he just doesn't care. He says he does, but has every excuse not to get on the damn treadmill and in the 6 years we've been together, has stuck to a diet for 1 week.

Sorry to hyjack...I'm just at a loss
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2012 21:56     Subject: How to tell your husband to lose weight/get in better shape?
Anonymous wrote:My husband isn't overweight really but he's gotten flabby since our son was born. I understand the exhaustion of having a child and how hard it is to eat right and stay in shape, but I am simply not attracted to the way he looks anymore. I, on the other hand, bounced right back after the baby; I lost all baby weight almost immediately and got back into really great shape. I work out like crazy (at nights when, yes, sometimes I'd rather be sleeping or relaxing). I eat very healthy. I mean, I am super toned and look better than pre-baby. I have tried everything to give him subtle hints. I only buy healthy foods, but he simply eats too much. I try to serve him correct portion sizes, but he'll just go back for seconds. I tell him how great I feel when I work out, how much more energy I have, etc. and have suggested that we trade off nights of working out, or I offered if he prefers morning work outs, I could wake him up earlier. He hasn't taken any hints at all. I feel like it is just plain laziness. He will sit around for 2 hours and play on the computer or read a book at night, but he won't make an effort to go out even for a 2 mile run. It doesn't make sense to me. Should I be more direct? I don't want to be mean, but how do I address this? I would never cheat on him, but I have to admit, I find myself fantasizing about other men who look better.


Women like you are the reason I do not recommend marriage for men. Everything is me. me. me, me, me, me.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2012 20:05     Subject: How to tell your husband to lose weight/get in better shape?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You are an asshole. I bet you don't look as good you think you do.


Really? I am an asshole for this? I don't understand that. And why would you assume that I don't look as good as I think I do? Actually, my husband compliments how great I look all the time. I am confused by your response.


NP here. You may be beautiful on the outside, but you're ugly and shallow on the inside.

You cannot change your DH. Only he can. You can manipulate him into doing something, but in this case, since it is only for vanity and superficial reasons, it is really just callow. He doesn't look as good as you'd like him. You don't want a husband, you want arm candy.

While you spend a lot of time working on your body, you really need to spend more time working on your attitude because you are turning into a nagging old anchor of a wife and despite how you look physically, your DH may not care for you much longer either.

If you really want him to change, talk to him about his life, his job. Find out what is exhausting him and making him need to veg out on the computer. For some of us, we get burned out with the relentlessness of adding childcare on top of everything else. Sometimes you need a vacation or a break just to recover your mental sanity. Find out if he is feeling that burnt out feeling. Find out if perhaps he's missing something he used to have (a fishing weekend? A golfing weekend? A night out with the boys?) and see if something like that may restore some of his drive.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2012 18:46     Subject: How to tell your husband to lose weight/get in better shape?
10 lbs? Really?

Look, most people gain some weight as they age. They get wrinkles, moles, weird aches and pains. They go grey and bald. Something about your husband is going to change eventually, and I hope you would accept it aaa e would accept your changes.

You like to work out, he doesn't--at least, not right now for whatever reason. Cut the man some slack! Having a baby affects him too.

And for the love of God, don't bribe with BJs. I cannot imagine doing that. Sex shouldn't be about bargaining.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2012 18:38     Subject: How to tell your husband to lose weight/get in better shape?
It's shallow, yes - bit what can OP do if she's not sexually attracted to him anymore? It's hard to get around that.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2012 18:18     Subject: How to tell your husband to lose weight/get in better shape?
You sit down with him and explain that you are a shallow twit and that you want hi ti lose weight because you are no longer attracted to him. Explain that you dont care if he is a good father, works hard to bring home a salary so that you can stay at home and takes care of the child so you can work out at night, if he doesn't do what you want when you want him to do it, you think you should get a divorce. Then you will have all the time in the world to chase better looking guys.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2012 18:17     Subject: Re:How to tell your husband to lose weight/get in better shape?
Anonymous wrote:Just remember this - studies have shown that marriages are happier when the wife is thinner/in better shape than the husband...


No wonder we aer so miserable. DH is a fitness freak.