Anonymous wrote:At our pool "community parenting" is well-known and, in fact, expected. If adults are seen ignoring misbehaving kids who are near them then they get the stink-eye. Kind of like, "Why aren't you holding up your end of the deal and letting them get away with that?" The kids are pretty feral at our pool and it wouldn't be do-able unless everyone was on-board.

This is my pool too. I love it.

there are some rowdy boys in the baby pool at tuckahoe who i always want to say something to, but don't. the dad is just as bad as them. he never seems to care that they are off squirting toddlers in the face or taking their toys. in fact, on more than one occassion i have seen the dad rough housing in the fricking infant pool, splashing around like an imbecile, using our squirters that we brought ourselves. the most i've ever said is when the boys tried to take my toddler's squirter from her, i said "those are actually ours, and she is using it, thanks." i wanted to give them a bigger piece of my mind, but never have the courage to do this to others' kids...

This douchebag goes to my pool too! The one at my pool is just so awful and is raising awful boys who are bullies.

All.the.time. Parent's are too busy on their phones to watch their snowflakes. Kidding!

I did recently. Playing in the baby pool with my toddler, a five-ish year old kept squirting me with a water gun. I finally turned around and asked that they stop. Half an hour later, as they were leaving, the mom came over to me and said "if you're in the pool you should expect to be splashed."

Splashed as part of general water splashiness, yes. Deliberately aimed at by a child, absolutely not and you bet I'm going to say something.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish our pool would post and enforce standards with regard to the baby pool. A few years ago a lifeguard yelled at one of my kids for using a foam squirter in the baby pool, and we never brought one again. But no one else seems to know that, and some people don't seem to care about anyone else. Just the other day I had some adult woman chasing her (well over the baby pool age) daughter around the baby pool, both of them blasting anyone who was within 10 feet. A few signs and standards, and the occasional intervention by a lifeguard would be worthwhile. I think a lot of the time, particularly on a hot Saturday afternoon, the offenders are guests of regular members who just don't know any better.

But I do think there are different standards for the regular "big" pool. If you don't want to be splashed or squirted or whatever, you shouldn't be in there. So I don't police my older child playing marco polo or squirting his friends in the big pool. I still watch but I don't monitor his every move. The lifeguards do whistle if the mayhem there gets out of hand.

I wonder if we go to the same pool because I had the same thing happen about a week and a half ago.

Saturday I had to yell at four boys, probably between 8-10 (regardless, definitely over the baby pool age) bumrush the baby pool and start throwing buckets of water at each other. The water was coming out of the pool so I said "Hey! Boys, keep it in the pool" (when I really wanted to tell them to get the eff out of the pool, but there was no one else in the baby pool so I felt that was all I could say) A mom then came into the baby pool and told the boys to leave (yay!) but the kid didn't listen (boo!) so the mom just walked away shaking her head. Nice.

I just wonder what the line is for what you can say or not say to other people's kids. Being a new member, I don't want to single ourselves out and be known as the "pool assholes" but at the same time, I pay what they pay, so my kids should be able to play in peace, right? I guess I just need to get over worrying about what other parents would think of us.

i'm not the quoted poster, but i posted earlier and this happens at my pool... are you at tuckahoe? the "baby" pool is often filled with 8 year olds splashing water everywhere and rough housing. oftentimes WITH their parents...

Anonymous wrote:how about the parent who brings a six year old to the pool and sits reading in full street clothes without looking up while his kid (barely) swims? and said kid hangs all over me and my DH while we are playing with our 3 YO? he was a sweet kid but i don't come to the pool to play with someone else's kid who so desperately wanted someone, anyone to play with/watch him swim.

Kids like that both annoy me and break my heart. It's like they were never taught proper boundaries. It's happened with other little girls at the pool before (wanting to hang on my DH like DD or swim between DH's legs) and it makes me so angry at their parents. Do they not realize they're setting their kids up to be victimized by not teaching them appropriate behavior toward other adults? The kids just don't know and are so desperate for attention. It's sad.

how about the parent who brings a six year old to the pool and sits reading in full street clothes without looking up while his kid (barely) swims? and said kid hangs all over me and my DH while we are playing with our 3 YO? he was a sweet kid but i don't come to the pool to play with someone else's kid who so desperately wanted someone, anyone to play with/watch him swim.

When my kid was 2 in the public baby pool, I monitored the baby pool. During "rest break", the older kids came to the baby pool. The baby pool was for 0 -5 years, I asked "how old are you", if she answered something other that 0 -5, I told them to get out of the baby pool and they obeyed. Most were kids on their own, no parents around, some 70 lb 9 year olds who were roughhousing around my 20 lb 2 year old.

The problem is many of the parents had younger (0-5) children and older children, but those children who had a parent in the baby pool were not the children roughhousing. I still did not like having the 100 lb child playing near my not very steady 20 lb old.

Now that we belong to a private pool, I find it harder to get the kids out of the pool who do not belong, not because I ask and they don't obey, but because I don't ask. But they are not really rough housing and the pool in question is for 0 - 6 year olds and much bigger.

Anonymous wrote:I wish our pool would post and enforce standards with regard to the baby pool. A few years ago a lifeguard yelled at one of my kids for using a foam squirter in the baby pool, and we never brought one again. But no one else seems to know that, and some people don't seem to care about anyone else. Just the other day I had some adult woman chasing her (well over the baby pool age) daughter around the baby pool, both of them blasting anyone who was within 10 feet. A few signs and standards, and the occasional intervention by a lifeguard would be worthwhile. I think a lot of the time, particularly on a hot Saturday afternoon, the offenders are guests of regular members who just don't know any better.

But I do think there are different standards for the regular "big" pool. If you don't want to be splashed or squirted or whatever, you shouldn't be in there. So I don't police my older child playing marco polo or squirting his friends in the big pool. I still watch but I don't monitor his every move. The lifeguards do whistle if the mayhem there gets out of hand.

I wonder if we go to the same pool because I had the same thing happen about a week and a half ago.

Saturday I had to yell at four boys, probably between 8-10 (regardless, definitely over the baby pool age) bumrush the baby pool and start throwing buckets of water at each other. The water was coming out of the pool so I said "Hey! Boys, keep it in the pool" (when I really wanted to tell them to get the eff out of the pool, but there was no one else in the baby pool so I felt that was all I could say) A mom then came into the baby pool and told the boys to leave (yay!) but the kid didn't listen (boo!) so the mom just walked away shaking her head. Nice.

I just wonder what the line is for what you can say or not say to other people's kids. Being a new member, I don't want to single ourselves out and be known as the "pool assholes" but at the same time, I pay what they pay, so my kids should be able to play in peace, right? I guess I just need to get over worrying about what other parents would think of us.

I wish our pool would post and enforce standards with regard to the baby pool. A few years ago a lifeguard yelled at one of my kids for using a foam squirter in the baby pool, and we never brought one again. But no one else seems to know that, and some people don't seem to care about anyone else. Just the other day I had some adult woman chasing her (well over the baby pool age) daughter around the baby pool, both of them blasting anyone who was within 10 feet. A few signs and standards, and the occasional intervention by a lifeguard would be worthwhile. I think a lot of the time, particularly on a hot Saturday afternoon, the offenders are guests of regular members who just don't know any better.

But I do think there are different standards for the regular "big" pool. If you don't want to be splashed or squirted or whatever, you shouldn't be in there. So I don't police my older child playing marco polo or squirting his friends in the big pool. I still watch but I don't monitor his every move. The lifeguards do whistle if the mayhem there gets out of hand.

I do speak up when kids get crazy splashing the babies in the baby pool when they must empty out the bigger pools for adult swim. They honestly have little to no awareness of how a splashing 8 year old can terrify someone under 1 who can barely stand.

I definitely politely defend the little ones who can't stick up for themselves yet! Most of the kids get it and stop immediately.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Twice now, I have, when kids were tormenting either my child or other very small kids with squirt guns or cannons. On one occasion I took a squirt gun and threw it over the baby pool fence. On another occasion I hollered STOP IT RIGHT NOW. The kid looked at me in a daze and then ran to his mother on the other side of the pool park. He then came back about ten minutes later and apologized to me. I assume after he told his mother what happened she took my side.

I think this is too much. Great modeling of how to be a bully.

Oh for the love! A bully. Right. Go console your 13 year old who got mad because someone hurt his feewings.

Throwing a toy over a fence? Hollering across the pool? Sounds like someone needs an anger management class. Admit it, you wouldn't tolerate your child acting that way.

I thought I was the only one! Thank you OP. the same kids are always aiming those super water guns in my kid's and other's eyes. Seriously, the pressure is intense from those ridiculous guns and eyes can def be injured. I always try to say (nicely). " oh, no, honey, not in the face.... You can hurt someone's eyes". What I'm thinking is MUCH worse than what is coming out of my mouth.

The parents never seem to care. It is frustrating.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Twice now, I have, when kids were tormenting either my child or other very small kids with squirt guns or cannons. On one occasion I took a squirt gun and threw it over the baby pool fence. On another occasion I hollered STOP IT RIGHT NOW. The kid looked at me in a daze and then ran to his mother on the other side of the pool park. He then came back about ten minutes later and apologized to me. I assume after he told his mother what happened she took my side.

I think this is too much. Great modeling of how to be a bully.

-1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Twice now, I have, when kids were tormenting either my child or other very small kids with squirt guns or cannons. On one occasion I took a squirt gun and threw it over the baby pool fence. On another occasion I hollered STOP IT RIGHT NOW. The kid looked at me in a daze and then ran to his mother on the other side of the pool park. He then came back about ten minutes later and apologized to me. I assume after he told his mother what happened she took my side.

I think this is too much. Great modeling of how to be a bully.

Oh for the love! A bully. Right. Go console your 13 year old who got mad because someone hurt his feewings.