I included an answer to this question in my first post on the front page of the website. You do want to name people that share your values. You do want to specifically exclude those family members that would be a bad influence on your kids. You want to be careful about naming a married couple in case they divorce. Don't name the couple solely because you like one family member but feel you must name their spouse as well. You should name temporary local guardians in case your long term guardians are a few hours away so as to prevent your kids from being taken out of the family home.

Sincerely,
Anthony Carducci, Esq.
acarducci@msn.com; anthony.carducci@legalhelpmaryland.com
410-693-7323

We really do need to address this. It frightens me to think of the alternatives. I am also in a situation where I don't feel I have good options. I guess, per my DH, my brother in law and his wife, who live in CA. I know they would love him, cause they do love him already. Certainly not any of my siblings, that's for sure or any other relatives of mine who are still living.

my sister.

My husband's cousin and her DH. They have two kids close in age. They're a little overwhelmed now with two but as time goes on, and if necessary, they could rise to the occasion. Of four. Money wouldn't be an issue. My sister would wonder why not her.

My parents, if not able then single sister

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no one. ?

We're in the same boat. Anyone out there find a solution if both sides of the family aren't options (abuse and alcoholism on both sides)?

We've been procrastinating because we don't have a good choice, but need to do something soon because no choice is worse. I have a single friend in her 40's who said she would gladly do it - stable good job, great person, good values. The only issue is she's single so there's an unknown if she ever marries.

You should name her. If she hasn't married by now and is as great and with good values as you say, she is not going to end up with some deadbeat, especially not with the added responsibility of children to consider.

My oldest sister and her DH.
Any of my other three siblings can be trusted but DH's siblings can't. His brother is Peter Pan and his sister has zero maternal instinct.
Our parents are all in their 70's.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no one. ?

We're in the same boat. Anyone out there find a solution if both sides of the family aren't options (abuse and alcoholism on both sides)?

We've been procrastinating because we don't have a good choice, but need to do something soon because no choice is worse. I have a single friend in her 40's who said she would gladly do it - stable good job, great person, good values. The only issue is she's single so there's an unknown if she ever marries.

Let me get this straight: you haven't designated this friend as a guardian because she might possibly someday marry someone you disapprove of, so instead you are designating nobody, which puts your kid on foster care or with whichever drunken abusive relative will have them. Yeah, that makes sense.

Primary gardian - my brother, MD, who is divorced but living with his gf.

Secondary gardian - single friend in his 40ties. Never married.

Friends of ours. Grandparents are too old and neither of us trusts our siblings.

Anonymous wrote:I have no one. ?

We're in the same boat. Anyone out there find a solution if both sides of the family aren't options (abuse and alcoholism on both sides)?

We've been procrastinating because we don't have a good choice, but need to do something soon because no choice is worse. I have a single friend in her 40's who said she would gladly do it - stable good job, great person, good values. The only issue is she's single so there's an unknown if she ever marries.

In this order
My parents
Mil
My sister
My other sister and bil
Sil
Fil and step mil

MIL, with my parents as a back up. MIL is in the DC area, which would allow for consistency.

Our nanny. She has been with us for 2 1/2 years, loves the kids like her own, and is young. She would drop everything else in her life and care for our kids (she's single). DH and I are both older parents, so our parents are all dead, and while our siblings all love the kids, they are A) all a good bit older than us, which I think is too old to be raising kids who have hypothetically already lost both parents at a young age, and B) live relatively far away (nearest sibling sees the kids 4-5 times a year) and C) the two siblings who are closest and youngest have VERY different ideas about parenting than we do.

Nanny is onboard with our parenting style, she's young enough to reduce the odds that the kids would lose another primary caregiver at a tender age, and she shares our religion/cultural values, so she's our choice.

Anonymous wrote:I have no one. ?

In that case, "WARDS OF THE STATE"