Anonymous wrote:The posters saying suck it up buttercup are pathetic. First baby was born in the US and it was awful. Second baby I practiced the Chinese tradition of confinement where the mom and baby are taken care of by a confinement/night nanny for thirty days. What bliss. The only expectation was for me to rest. I was brought food and snacks and given massages. The baby was brought in for me to nurse and snuggle and then brought out again so I could sleep. I was so so much happier. This treatment blew my mind till I realized all my friends in Asia (middle class) regraded this as the norm. We treat women so badly in the states, better to spend money on family friendly policies than 34k ppd drugs. So those people suggesting you are a mom deal with it can go kick rocks.

Yeah I don’t want to be institutionalized with my baby for 30 days. Hardly necessary for most moms without serious postpartum issues or twins. I would assume there are other things about Chinese society (example - men not lifting a finger!) that result in the woman being sent off with her baby. There is also the moron you leave your family behind as a woman when you marry. You think a MIL is going to help?

This thread is from 2012 - a troll revived it. ignore them

The posters saying suck it up buttercup are pathetic. First baby was born in the US and it was awful. Second baby I practiced the Chinese tradition of confinement where the mom and baby are taken care of by a confinement/night nanny for thirty days. What bliss. The only expectation was for me to rest. I was brought food and snacks and given massages. The baby was brought in for me to nurse and snuggle and then brought out again so I could sleep. I was so so much happier. This treatment blew my mind till I realized all my friends in Asia (middle class) regraded this as the norm. We treat women so badly in the states, better to spend money on family friendly policies than 34k ppd drugs. So those people suggesting you are a mom deal with it can go kick rocks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly amazing to me how none of these 'moms' can cope with parenthood!! I used to work as a night nurse (and was paid much more than $15/hr OMG!!!). Worked 7 days a week, 24hrs a day for 3 months at a time. No falling down stairs or whining from me. Then I had twins of my own and somehow managed, amazing! When you tell yourself you can't do it, well then I guess you just can't.

It's just Money talking. If you have options, why take the most fatiguing one? If you're used to outsourcing everything, you can outsource parenting as well...

In the history of the world mothers have not been expected to do everything themselves. Families help each other out. The difference with night nurses is that you have to pay them, so it's only available to the wealthy. The problem is not mothers who want and can benefit from assistance, the problem is the expectation that mothers have to do absolutely everything unless they are rich.

By families you mean WOMEN. I highly doubt 1800s grandpa was up changing the baby at 3 AM and helping his granddaughter nurse.

Women can now make money. While it’s still greatly undervalued, a woman’s labor isn’t always free now. There is a cost. Not sure why you expect someone to help care for your newborn for free when they can have a job and earn money.

The expectation shouldn’t be that extended family and friends help out. Instead it should be your HUSBAND!

Also do you really want to provide unpaid labor to other families you know when they have a baby? I’m fine meeting the baby, bringing some food, etc but I want to spend time with my own kids. Not take care of someone else for free.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly amazing to me how none of these 'moms' can cope with parenthood!! I used to work as a night nurse (and was paid much more than $15/hr OMG!!!). Worked 7 days a week, 24hrs a day for 3 months at a time. No falling down stairs or whining from me. Then I had twins of my own and somehow managed, amazing! When you tell yourself you can't do it, well then I guess you just can't.

It's just Money talking. If you have options, why take the most fatiguing one? If you're used to outsourcing everything, you can outsource parenting as well...

In the history of the world mothers have not been expected to do everything themselves. Families help each other out. The difference with night nurses is that you have to pay them, so it's only available to the wealthy. The problem is not mothers who want and can benefit from assistance, the problem is the expectation that mothers have to do absolutely everything unless they are rich.

Anonymous wrote:Truly amazing to me how none of these 'moms' can cope with parenthood!! I used to work as a night nurse (and was paid much more than $15/hr OMG!!!). Worked 7 days a week, 24hrs a day for 3 months at a time. No falling down stairs or whining from me. Then I had twins of my own and somehow managed, amazing! When you tell yourself you can't do it, well then I guess you just can't.

It's just Money talking. If you have options, why take the most fatiguing one? If you're used to outsourcing everything, you can outsource parenting as well...

Anonymous wrote:Take care of your own baby. Except for unique situations, night nurses are ridiculous. Welcome to parenthood.

Should we say the same thing to working moms who have their kids with a nanny or daycare? Everyone's situation is different, mind your own business.

Anonymous wrote:Take care of your own baby. Except for unique situations, night nurses are ridiculous. Welcome to parenthood.

Go away nasty.

Anonymous wrote:Truly amazing to me how none of these 'moms' can cope with parenthood!! I used to work as a night nurse (and was paid much more than $15/hr OMG!!!). Worked 7 days a week, 24hrs a day for 3 months at a time. No falling down stairs or whining from me. Then I had twins of my own and somehow managed, amazing! When you tell yourself you can't do it, well then I guess you just can't.

Check your assumptions. I am capable of night parenting, but I work a job during the day that requires my full concentration and alertness. There are no on/off ramps in my career path. I choose to be a working mother, which means I parent my kids but I share that responsibility with others for their benefit as well as my own. I enjoyed the postpartum period a lot and my babies benefitted from the fact that I wasn't stressed. I could go back to work without being exhausted and bleary eyed.

Ultimately, parenthood is more than just holding a baby at night. Your kids will need you for many things as they get older. I think as a parent you give them all of you, whatever that is. When I work and attend to my own growth I have more to give my kids.

Anonymous wrote:I can understand if the mother has health issues or complications from birth but I think it is one of those requirements of motherhood to get up in the middle of the night with your baby or babies. There are agencies that place night nurses so the OP should call one and ask their rates and what a night nurse can do. I doubt you are going to find someone for babysitting rates though ($15/hr).

No it is not a requirement. People can arrange things in different ways. I have definitely heard of $15/hr. In some ways it is harder than a babysitting gig due to the time shift, but in other ways it's easier if you have a regular baby who wakes every 3-4 hours. That's two feedings and two changes during the shift.

Most night nurses are $25-$30/hour with an 8-10 hour minimum. They bottle feed the baby while you sleep or bring baby to nurse, change, and put baby back down. We didn’t use one for number 1 but had one 3 x a week for DD2 and it was great. Meant DH got a solid 8 hours and I got good chunks in between nursing when I could go straight back to sleep. She also cleaned bottle and pump parts.

Now a baby NURSE (24/7, more typical in NYC, lives with you) is really where it’s at...but it’s 3k or so a week.

Anonymous wrote:Is it still helpful to have one if you plan on nursing? Because nobody can help with that part.

Yes!! Babies eat every three hours approx. It takes 30-45 minutes for them to eat, but it can take an hour to get them back to sleep after that. Then they’d be up in approx another hour to eat again. So if themurse can get the baby back to sleep, then you’ll possibly get 2 hours of sleep instead of 1. Repeat 24 hours a day.

Don’t have kids yet and I’m absolutely getting a night nurse and will sing it from the rooftops pps. Mom martyrdom is over. Women had help for centuries until industrialization And I’m gladly going back to the old fashioned way.

Anonymous wrote:Truly amazing to me how none of these 'moms' can cope with parenthood!! I used to work as a night nurse (and was paid much more than $15/hr OMG!!!). Worked 7 days a week, 24hrs a day for 3 months at a time. No falling down stairs or whining from me. Then I had twins of my own and somehow managed, amazing! When you tell yourself you can't do it, well then I guess you just can't.

Then pat yourself on the back and close your mouth!