There are 4bdrm homes in Bethesda for under 600K?!!

Do you have family in the area? Living close to family could be a huge help if possible. Otherwise go with the affordable option. Your budget may be stretched real thin with two in daycare, diapers, etc. the house size doesn't matter for the first year then at the very least you need a dedicated playroom to contain the mess and a small house to minimize cleaning with a small, fenced yard to minimize outdoor chores as well.

OP, wrapping up what has been written by PPs:

Twins - will this be it or will you have a third child? If the former, twins can share a room for some time and you will have the third BR to use as play room/guest room. Even b/g twins can share a room till they are 5 or 6 without too many complaints. I know same sex twins who have shared till they are ten. (This is coming from someone who shared a room, even through college).

Layout: is this a one or two story house? If the latter, then what is the first floor layout? Also agree here with many PPs that wee ones cannot be alone in a room until they are considerably older. So you will not be able to leave them in basement while you are elsewhere in house. FWIW, we did not have a finished basement until our youngest was five. If we had, then I probably would've had the basement as their "toy" room and kept minimal goods in the family room. I still would've needed to be n the basement with them for play.

Time: long nights, short years. Infancy and toddlerdom will seem like forever. But one day you will realize it all happened so quickly, that that is the shortest phase of their life. If you are relatively tidy and able to keep perspective, then you may want to go with the smaller home. If you find that your goods spontaneously germinate, then you may need to go with larger house to keep a little more barriers between your stuff.

Good luck to you and the birth of your twins!

Oh - and even in our bigger home the toys still ended up everywhere. We just don't have as far to go now to put them away.

We just downsized from a big ugly box (with big finished basement) to a smaller cute house in a better location and are really happy so far (it's been 6 months). I actually love our house/neighborhood now. Our children now share a bedroom and the other bedroom is a guest room/play room. We also got rid of so much junk - toys and other misc stuff. Very refreshing to have less stuff. I think it'll be tough when birthdays/holidays roll around to not accumulate too much, but I think it will be worth it! But I know this wouldn't work for most people, as our friends keep migrating further & further out to buy giant homes.

Our kids share the master bedroom, which is large enough to store their toys without looking like clutter.

OP again. Last poster = the poster who had the life sucked out of her or felt demoralized with the non-charming bigger home.

OP here. Wow thanks for the awesome replies. Gives me a lot to think about. I guess I tend to know deep down the more space is probably necessary but then I do really worry I will feel like the last poster. I have only lived in/chosen homes so far in life that have had lots of character and been really visually pleasing to me....somehow I get a lot from that. In the past, historic row home in an old renovated school house with huge original windows and now renting a little tiny bungalow that has so much charm. Looking out a big pretty window to trees really makes my day. So I know that I can live in a small space and be fine, but that's me without twins!

In the scenario I described, I am looking in the same area so the schools and neighborhood and commute are the same or totally comparable. Will definitely make sure I have a yard with a fence or that can be fenced, since I also have a small dog.

My other option I am toying around with is to give up on Bethesda and find something bigger AND with charm AND for $100k+ less in Catonsville. I think the schools, the neighborhood (though obviously it is a very different feel than DC suburbs like Bethesda), and the commute there are fine or more than fine. (I work in between the two areas off of 95.) But obviously the areas are very different. And down the road, job opportunities would be far more limited up there.

We have twins in a 3 bedroom townhouse. Want to agree with PPs who suggest having the twins sleep in one bedroom, and have one bedroom be the playroom. When our kids got to elementary school, we then made the shift to each of them having their own bedroom. We have a postage stamp backyard, and a pocket park halfway down the block, really nice flat grassy spot that we don't have to mow
For years 1-5 it was kind of a pain to not have big back yard, because anytime they went outside someone had to go with them, but now they can just go over our street's pocket park and play there, or ride their bikes on our flat, quiet street.
One thing to consider is how long you want to stay in a house. When we bought, we knew we wanted to "stay put" so we weren't just thinking about what would work best for toddlers, but what kind of space would average-out to be the best situation for our family over the years. (We lucked out that this was our preference anyway, since many folks who bought thinking they would sell in 5 years got hosed by the downturn in the market.)
Lots to think about. There are pros and cons to every situation. You have to weigh them and figure out what works best for your lifestyle.

Anonymous wrote:Buy the house with the basement or your home will look like a playroom all over.

True. We went for the cute house with no family room and when our kids were littler, one key feature was multiple baskets of toys in the living room. We didn't mind -- we want the house we would love for years -- but there are people (MY DAD) who cannot bear clutter. Those sorts of people spend family visits picking up dinosaurs and putting them away.

Twin mom. I made the choice for bigger ugly home with more space instead of cute smaller home with less space. I wish now I had stayed in the cute smaller home. It is demoralizing to work sooooo hard with twins and be soooo exhausted and live in an ugly space. I love PPs suggestion to double up the kids in one room and use the third bedroom as a playroom. When the kids are old enough to want their own rooms, they will be willing to give up the playroom to achieve that end. BUT, I agree with other PP that fenced in or fencable yard is a MUST in this scenario.

Good luck.