I called the police on my neighbors back in college. I was 99% sure the guy was beating his girlfriend. The police came. He was beating his girlfriend. Odds are pretty good that she stayed with him, but I'm still glad I called.

I would always call the police in a situation like you mention, OP, and frankly, if I weren't a parent of a small child who depends on me, I'd intervene in a lot of situations. I don't really believe in minding my own business - this is a society and a community.

i was recently at a meeting of fairly well-educated people held in a private home. a window was open and we heard a dog barking and then screaming. the dog and the screaming got louder and louder and i think we all heard it and all kind of ignored it b/c of the kitty genovese phenomenon - "oh, if my boss next to me hears that and thinks its ok, it must be ok". i think one person finally went to the window to look out. but couldn't see anything. thankfully, the screaming turned to laughing right after that.

still, the whole episode of 6 or 7 minutes long. later i wondered why none of us actually went out to figure out what was going on - i ;mean, the worse case scenario was that a child was being mauled by a dog. and later, there would be this write up in the paper "a meeting of 24 people was being held 1 door down. they heard the child's cries, but did not get up to help."

DH and his family sucks. How would they like it if they needed help and no one did anything?

OP I came online to post a thread just about the same thing as you, regarding MYOB vs trying to help.

My heart aches for my children who will grow up in such society.

My mom is in another country, where I grew up. Bach there we're very close to the neighbors.

My dad travels for work and my mom is often alone. It's winter there and it rains a lot. My neighbor who has a 1yo child just knocked on my mom's door while we were on the phone and my mom ran to get the door. The girl came over with a bowl of soup and said "don't worry about opening the door, I just brought this for you. seems like your husband is away again i thought i would share" and left back to her house.

I doubt anybody in this website would reach like this to a neighbor. And this makes me so sad.

I could not imagine ignoring this. I am not from here, FWIW. I have seen neighbors here looking out their windows while there is an altercation. I happen to find it despicable. At the very least, I would dial 911. Ask during if the neighbor is okay. If for some reason it is unsafe to do so - likely only unsafe when an actual gun is involved - then at least ask if the neighbor is okay or if there is anything they need afterward. In most cases, the nosy neighbors do not have all of the information and are in NO position to be judging, but unfortunately this is an excessively nosy AND judgmental area. Anything to try to judge, it seems. So very sad for people who live here.

PP, I realize that the Genovese trial was not in this area. You do realize it is not entirely as people commonly believe, right?

I'm sorry about your husband, OP. You need to do what YOU think is right. It all depends on how you were raised, I suppose.

Your DH seems to be suffering from some sort of psychic numbing. He doesn't seem to have normal human warmth, empathy or even curiosity about human events that are somewhat shocking. Is he depressed?

Well, if your child was with him, I can see why he would want to not get involved with a situation involving shooting guns. These are not daily typical events so it might have just been shocking for him and he truly did not have a clear mind on what to do other than to leave the danger. Flight or Fight, right? I would not choose to fight in the presence of a recently active gun, either.

So, OP, did you call 911?

The best thing that you can do for your children is to set and example. I would let your DH know how disappointed you are in his inaction. I can hardly imagine that if it were you or your children who were shot and then screamed, that your DH would want your neighbors to do nothing.

Anonymous wrote:Actually, when you hear a gun shot, you'll probably know it. It doesn't sound like "normal" street sounds.

I am 14:52 poster, and this is true- the sound is unmistakable (back-firing cars and fireworks aren't even close!)

Actually, when you hear a gun shot, you'll probably know it. It doesn't sound like "normal" street sounds.

Anonymous wrote:I used to live in a terrible neighborhood (in a different city) and when I heard gun shots I always called 911. The operator didn't care that I had no idea where it came from just that it was close by, they always sent a cruiser.

I feel similar. If I heard a gun shot in my neighborhood (Spring Valley) I don't know if I would have acted differently. First, I don't know what a gun shot sounds like and it probably would not have occurred to me that something bad happened. The screaming is disturbing though.

I used to live in a terrible neighborhood (in a different city) and when I heard gun shots I always called 911. The operator didn't care that I had no idea where it came from just that it was close by, they always sent a cruiser.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I heard a gunshot but didn't know where it came from, I would not call.

If I knew or suspected where it came from, I would call. Could it be that your DH really did not know that the gunshot came from the house he had just passed?

We posted at the same time.

It wasn't hearing the gunshot it was the woman screaming that I can't understand ignoring. Not one scream, but over & over, he could hear her in our house with the front door shut, 4 houses down.

PP above here. Okay. That's a little too insular. Since it could easily be a domestic abuse situation, that deserves a call, especially with the gunshot.

I think that's atrocious. I'm not nosy, but I do call the police when I see something wrong. It's their job to assess the situation, and if I'm at all conflicted, I go with calling them. Better safe than sorry -- I'd rather be the person who called too often and possibly saved a life than the person who MYOB and let others around me get hurt or suffer worse consequences.

Anonymous wrote:If I heard a gunshot but didn't know where it came from, I would not call.

If I knew or suspected where it came from, I would call. Could it be that your DH really did not know that the gunshot came from the house he had just passed?

We posted at the same time.

It wasn't hearing the gunshot it was the woman screaming that I can't understand ignoring. Not one scream, but over & over, he could hear her in our house with the front door shut, 4 houses down.