Anonymous wrote:sometimes, there isn't a lot of choice in the matter. ESPECIALLY in a metro area like this one where the prices go higher the closer you get to the city. There are compromises which must be made for anyone without an unlimited budget.

It sounds like this is not an issue of budget, though.

Few of us have unlimited budgets. The obvious compromise is square footage and land acreage. There is quite a bit of choice, if people are willing to accepted fewer than 1800 sq ft of living space. But, as we have gotten larger and our homes have gotten larger, people seem to think that 2500 sq ft+ is "normal" for a family of 4, even if you live in a major metropolitan area.

1. How much time do you want to spend with your children at night?

2. Do you want to burden your spouse with the bulk of evening childcare as the result of your longer commute?

sometimes, there isn't a lot of choice in the matter. ESPECIALLY in a metro area like this one where the prices go higher the closer you get to the city. There are compromises which must be made for anyone without an unlimited budget.

It sounds like this is not an issue of budget, though.

It is of course a personal decision, and for some people a longer commute might be fine. However, for the average human a long commute will contribute negatively to happiness.

Here's nice article from 2004, "Stress That Doesn't Pay: The Commuting Paradox": http://ideas.repec.org/p/zur/iewwpx/151.html

"People spend a lot of time commuting and often find it a burden. According to economics, the burden of commuting is chosen when compensated either on the labor or on the housing market so that individuals’ utility is equalized. However, in a direct test of this strong notion of equilibrium, we find that people with longer commuting time report systematically lower subjective well-being."

In a data set spanning 14 years, we study whether commuters are indeed compensated for the stress incurred, as suggested in economic models. If this is the case, we should not find any systematic correlation between people’s commuting time and their reported satisfaction with life.

Our main result indicates, however, that people with long journeys to and from work are systematically worse off and report significantly lower subjective well-being.

90 minutes is assuming you get on the train right away. What time is the train that you'd be able to catch once you leave work and make it to the train station?

I commute from Frederick to Friendship Heights. I leave home by 6 am and take the train and get to work by 8:30. I would take the later train but then I risk getting work late everyday. In the evenings I leave work at about 5:30 but can't make the 5:44 train so I have to take the 6:58. That means I don't get home until after 8. Actual commute time (bus and train) is about 90 minutes but start to finish from leaving work to getting home or home to work is more like 2.5-3 hours.

Its tiring, but doable. If you allow yourself to relax on the train, it helps. I pack lunch and a couple of good snacks and either don't eat dinner or eat a very light dinner when I get home. Don't fall into the trap of eating out all the time.

Thanks all -- my Green Acres dream of owning a farmlet may give way to the reality of staying in Chevy Chase.

I'm further out in the boonies and work in Silver Spring. Been doing the 1.5 hour commute for over 10 years. I leave at 4:30 to sit down at my desk at about 6am work a 9 hour day leve at 3:30 and walk back in my door around 5:30 (the first train doesn't get to S.S. until 3:50). I've made friends, read many books and get time to decompress before getting home. It does take planning but it can be done if you are willing to do it.

Anonymous wrote:Your commute will be 90 minutes on a good day if there are no problems. It could stretch to close to 3 hours each way. If you can afford to not live up there, then dont'.

This!, you have to consider what the actual commute would be door to door ON A BAD DAY full of delays. Because, trust me, you will get many of those.

I had a 1 hour commute (one way on a good day) for 15 years. When I was in my 20s and early 30s and didnt have kids I didnt care. On Fridays when traffic was extra terrible me and my husband would drive into the city have dinner/watch a movie before going home. Then we had kids...seemed like the commute was getting to be where it was 1 1/2 to 2 hours one way on a good day and I just couldnt see myself doing it for the rest of my career. Nothing like spending 2 hours in your car trying to get to work and 2 hours for the car ride home. It was draining the life out of me. I was lucky to find a job 5 minutes from my house and it so nice not to have to plot when to leave early when there is questionable weather or accidents.

This sounds awful- you will lose 3 hours a day.

I am the brookeville poster. I head in early and leave early so I can spend time with my kids after school. The schools here are excellent btw.