Anonymous wrote:I said even the good kids drink...not that all kids drink. I think many parents fool themselves into thinking their kids don't drink because they are "good kids." I know good kids who wrecked their parents cars, got arrested, got pregnant, had abortions, etc. And I know "bad kids" who managed to make it to adulthood unscathed. Sometimes the good kids are the ones you need to worry about...

ummm...not to make it too fine a point, but you actually did say "all kids do." Most assumed, in the context of the rest of the sentence, that you were saying that all kids drink. But I think we get the point.

I said even the good kids drink...not that all kids drink. I think many parents fool themselves into thinking their kids don't drink because they are "good kids." I know good kids who wrecked their parents cars, got arrested, got pregnant, had abortions, etc. And I know "bad kids" who managed to make it to adulthood unscathed. Sometimes the good kids are the ones you need to worry about...

Anonymous wrote:News flash: even the good kids drink...they just tend to be a bit more responsible than other kids. But you are seriously fooling yourself if you think that just because your kid is good (grades, athletics, etc) that they don't drink...all kids do. You just need to make sure your kid is responsible enough to be smart, be safe and stay out of trouble.

PP here. Honestly, not all kids drink and it is dangerous to say that "all kids" do anything.

I do agree that focusing on responsibility is the key issue though.

Reference point: I'm attending my 10 year high school reunion this summer. I didn't have a curfew in high school. I had the legal curfew and my dad told me not to call him if I get arrested and not to say anything if I left after legal curfew. My only guideline was I had 5 minutes to return his calls. I didn't have any of the issues most teens do when they are unleashed at college. I respect my parents a lot more as an adult because they respected me and trusted me growing up. The sooner you let your child feel that you trust them, the more likely they will be to keep you in an active role once college starts and beyond those four years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:News flash: even the good kids drink...they just tend to be a bit more responsible than other kids. But you are seriously fooling yourself if you think that just because your kid is good (grades, athletics, etc) that they don't drink...all kids do. You just need to make sure your kid is responsible enough to be smart, be safe and stay out of trouble.

Actually not all kids drink. Many kids do, including many "good" kids and you should make sure you kid does know how to be smart and stay safe about drinking, but it's also important to communicate to your child that not drinking is a responsible choice.

When people throw around facts like "all kids" do such and such, it just adds pressure to the kids who choose not to use substances, by making them feel like aberrations or geeks.

Yes, the research has shown that college and high school student typically overestimate how many of their peers are drinking and how much they drink. They need to at least hear the message that not drinking is a viable option.

Yep - teens think all the other teens are drinking and having sex when in reality a good percentage of them aren't. take a look at the College Health Report - good thing to show your teens too.

Executive Summary:
http://www.achancha.org/docs/ACHA-NCHA-II_Referenc..._ExecutiveSummary_Fall2011.pdf

Frequency Report (Full survey responses)
http://www.achancha.org/docs/ACHA-NCHA-II_ReferenceGroup_DataReport_Fall2011.pdf

I have actually heard another parent say that they would expect their child is drinking b/c their child is "not a nerd or a geek". Wow.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:News flash: even the good kids drink...they just tend to be a bit more responsible than other kids. But you are seriously fooling yourself if you think that just because your kid is good (grades, athletics, etc) that they don't drink...all kids do. You just need to make sure your kid is responsible enough to be smart, be safe and stay out of trouble.

Actually not all kids drink. Many kids do, including many "good" kids and you should make sure you kid does know how to be smart and stay safe about drinking, but it's also important to communicate to your child that not drinking is a responsible choice.

When people throw around facts like "all kids" do such and such, it just adds pressure to the kids who choose not to use substances, by making them feel like aberrations or geeks.

Yes, the research has shown that college and high school student typically overestimate how many of their peers are drinking and how much they drink. They need to at least hear the message that not drinking is a viable option.

Yep - teens think all the other teens are drinking and having sex when in reality a good percentage of them aren't. take a look at the College Health Report - good thing to show your teens too.

Executive Summary:
http://www.achancha.org/docs/ACHA-NCHA-II_Referenc..._ExecutiveSummary_Fall2011.pdf

Frequency Report (Full survey responses)
http://www.achancha.org/docs/ACHA-NCHA-II_ReferenceGroup_DataReport_Fall2011.pdf

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:News flash: even the good kids drink...they just tend to be a bit more responsible than other kids. But you are seriously fooling yourself if you think that just because your kid is good (grades, athletics, etc) that they don't drink...all kids do. You just need to make sure your kid is responsible enough to be smart, be safe and stay out of trouble.

Actually not all kids drink. Many kids do, including many "good" kids and you should make sure you kid does know how to be smart and stay safe about drinking, but it's also important to communicate to your child that not drinking is a responsible choice.

When people throw around facts like "all kids" do such and such, it just adds pressure to the kids who choose not to use substances, by making them feel like aberrations or geeks.

Yes, the research has shown that college and high school student typically overestimate how many of their peers are drinking and how much they drink. They need to at least hear the message that not drinking is a viable option.

Anonymous wrote:News flash: even the good kids drink...they just tend to be a bit more responsible than other kids. But you are seriously fooling yourself if you think that just because your kid is good (grades, athletics, etc) that they don't drink...all kids do. You just need to make sure your kid is responsible enough to be smart, be safe and stay out of trouble.

Actually not all kids drink. Many kids do, including many "good" kids and you should make sure you kid does know how to be smart and stay safe about drinking, but it's also important to communicate to your child that not drinking is a responsible choice.

When people throw around facts like "all kids" do such and such, it just adds pressure to the kids who choose not to use substances, by making them feel like aberrations or geeks.

News flash: even the good kids drink...they just tend to be a bit more responsible than other kids. But you are seriously fooling yourself if you think that just because your kid is good (grades, athletics, etc) that they don't drink...all kids do. You just need to make sure your kid is responsible enough to be smart, be safe and stay out of trouble.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curfew ensures the family gets to bed at reasonable hour without worrying about child not home yet.

Can't they just go to bed? It's not like they have to stay up waiting.

I am guessing you aren't a parent of teens. Even if you go to bed you worry about the kids. And when they come home you invariably wake up (doors slamming, toilets flushing, etc).

Anonymous wrote:Curfew ensures the family gets to bed at reasonable hour without worrying about child not home yet.

Can't they just go to bed? It's not like they have to stay up waiting.

PP again -- meant to add that the parents were at the beach house during the time the kids were staying there.