Anonymous
Post 06/24/2012 13:11     Subject: Do you think you'll do it again...cheating...
FBO wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

hmm, what do you like??? That the poster had an affair o fulfill some selfish personal need? Or that she ended up with her partner in crime? Frankly, I see nothing to like. She could end up doing the same thing to her current husband and he to her.


I like the idea that the previous poster had found someone they loved and cared for more than the person they were with. Not only that, but they have the guts to decide that in this life, their ONLY life, they would rather be happy than worry about other peoples judgement of them. Based on the post, I would speculate that the past 6 years for that poster have been better than they would have been if they had stayed with their previous partner. Kudos to them for knowing that they are the ONLY person responsible for their own happiness. Not a husband, not a lover, not a child; them.

And how do you know the other partner that got cheated on has not been happier the past 6 years? The thought bears consideration

How many times a day can we all read here about people who are MISERABLE in their marriage but do not have the knowledge/ability/guts to accept that and make some life changes. If you can stop judging the poster ('selfish personal need', 'partner in crime') then you could probably see the situation differently.

Not a confrontation, just a thought.


6 year married cheater who will never do it again here.

I could not have said this better myself.

I am much happier now, and I believe that my ex is as well. We are both remarried and both have children. We never had children together. Our marriage should not have happened, but it did. When I was staring down the barrel of 50 years of unhappiness I decided to pull the plug. I didn't do it in the correct way, but I was an immature 25 year old. I've learned from the experience, and I believe everyone is better off for it in the end.

It seems like everyone is assuming that the first marriage was all happy and rosy and the cheater just went out and got some on the side. Both parties are almost always to blame when someone cheats. Someone isn't getting something that they need from their partner. In my case, it was emotional support. If your partner can't or won't provide something that you fundamentally need, then there are big problems. Like it or not, it shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that the unfulfilled partner will seek that out.


Anonymous
Post 06/24/2012 12:19     Subject: Do you think you'll do it again...cheating...
Daisies and roses maybe not, but I just don't see why two people on a second marriage don't have the same shot. I always hear about what happens when u have to start doing the daily chores with an AP. I don't see how that's any different than with any other human being. Also, I have trouble with the statistics. I only know one person who's second marriage failed, and he was a drug addict and married a stripper. All the other couples I know are going on 5-15 years together.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2012 11:44     Subject: Re:Do you think you'll do it again...cheating...
I don't want anybody to be miserble but if you think the affair to marriage path is lined with daisies you are horribly mistaken.

I have no dog in the fight so I have no reason to take one side over the other.

The assumption that the 1st marriage was miserble but the secong rosey is a false assumption.

Quite often the 1st was happy and when the affair is found out dissolved and the conselation prize not exactly all happiness and roses.

Anonymous
Post 06/24/2012 10:42     Subject: Do you think you'll do it again...cheating...
Anonymous wrote:
FBO wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Did you end up with the affair partner?


Yes


Really? Interesting. Are you and affair partner still together? Do you think you'll marry?


We've been married over 6 years. Have 1 child.


if you were a guy you would be called every name in the book and as a women, i think you should be as well


So you are mad that the PP found someone who made her happy that was not her (then) current husband?


Jealous much?


Not PP but to assume they will live happily ever after is naive. I have many people I know in this situation andthefactisther rate of divorce is very high.

I know somebody in this situation who divorce after more than 10 years- 3 kids. Another after 6 years.

There are his, hers, theirs, step kids, exes, etc.

Itis very hard on the kids.

I hope they are happy. But reality is often much gimmer.


Oh come on. 10 years is a good chunk of time to be married and I dare say any couple with 3 kids could be susceptible to divorce after 10 years regardless of how the relationship started. When I think of a marriage that began as an affair failing because it started as an affair, I'm thinking of marriages that last less than one year. At 10 years, they have the same likelihood as any long term marriage of failing. I know you all want to believe that people have affairs and are miserable forever thereafter but in reality, some people have affairs and end up with people who make them happy. Or they leave their spouse for someone who makes them happier. Affairs aren't honorable but they can lead to favorable outcomes.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2012 10:27     Subject: Re:Do you think you'll do it again...cheating...
You assume they are happy.
FBO
Post 06/24/2012 09:21     Subject: Do you think you'll do it again...cheating...
Anonymous wrote:

hmm, what do you like??? That the poster had an affair o fulfill some selfish personal need? Or that she ended up with her partner in crime? Frankly, I see nothing to like. She could end up doing the same thing to her current husband and he to her.


I like the idea that the previous poster had found someone they loved and cared for more than the person they were with. Not only that, but they have the guts to decide that in this life, their ONLY life, they would rather be happy than worry about other peoples judgement of them. Based on the post, I would speculate that the past 6 years for that poster have been better than they would have been if they had stayed with their previous partner. Kudos to them for knowing that they are the ONLY person responsible for their own happiness. Not a husband, not a lover, not a child; them.

And how do you know the other partner that got cheated on has not been happier the past 6 years? The thought bears consideration

How many times a day can we all read here about people who are MISERABLE in their marriage but do not have the knowledge/ability/guts to accept that and make some life changes. If you can stop judging the poster ('selfish personal need', 'partner in crime') then you could probably see the situation differently.

Not a confrontation, just a thought.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2012 07:23     Subject: Re:Do you think you'll do it again...cheating...
Wow lots of iPad typos - you get the point.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2012 07:20     Subject: Do you think you'll do it again...cheating...
FBO wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Did you end up with the affair partner?


Yes


Really? Interesting. Are you and affair partner still together? Do you think you'll marry?


We've been married over 6 years. Have 1 child.


if you were a guy you would be called every name in the book and as a women, i think you should be as well


So you are mad that the PP found someone who made her happy that was not her (then) current husband?


Jealous much?


Not PP but to assume they will live happily ever after is naive. I have many people I know in this situation andthefactisther rate of divorce is very high.

I know somebody in this situation who divorce after more than 10 years- 3 kids. Another after 6 years.

There are his, hers, theirs, step kids, exes, etc.

Itis very hard on the kids.

I hope they are happy. But reality is often much gimmer.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2012 01:53     Subject: Do you think you'll do it again...cheating...
FBO wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Did you end up with the affair partner?


Yes


Really? Interesting. Are you and affair partner still together? Do you think you'll marry?


We've been married over 6 years. Have 1 child.


I like this.


hmm, what do you like??? That the poster had an affair o fulfill some selfish personal need? Or that she ended up with her partner in crime? Frankly, I see nothing to like. She could end up doing the same thing to her current husband and he to her.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2012 01:28     Subject: Do you think you'll do it again...cheating...
Yes, I would.
FBO
Post 06/20/2012 12:11     Subject: Do you think you'll do it again...cheating...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Did you end up with the affair partner?


Yes


Really? Interesting. Are you and affair partner still together? Do you think you'll marry?


We've been married over 6 years. Have 1 child.


if you were a guy you would be called every name in the book and as a women, i think you should be as well


So you are mad that the PP found someone who made her happy that was not her (then) current husband?


Jealous much?
Anonymous
Post 06/20/2012 12:04     Subject: Do you think you'll do it again...cheating...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes. Why? Because I never got caught the first time.


how cold


Um...who's the cold one?
Anonymous
Post 06/20/2012 10:10     Subject: Do you think you'll do it again...cheating...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Did you end up with the affair partner?


Yes


Really? Interesting. Are you and affair partner still together? Do you think you'll marry?


We've been married over 6 years. Have 1 child.


if you were a guy you would be called every name in the book and as a women, i think you should be as well
Anonymous
Post 06/20/2012 08:14     Subject: Do you think you'll do it again...cheating...
No, never again.
FBO
Post 06/17/2012 13:16     Subject: Do you think you'll do it again...cheating...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Did you end up with the affair partner?


Yes


Really? Interesting. Are you and affair partner still together? Do you think you'll marry?


We've been married over 6 years. Have 1 child.


I like this.