Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound horrid

I thought she sounded pretty honest and compassionate. If her FIL had been responsible and planned for a rainy day she wouldn't be in this situation. She's trying to do the right thing but she's still still allowed to have private feelings. If you can't see that I'm betting you are probably someone who has no plan and does whatever you want and expects someone else to clean up your mess.

Not the OP, but why is she horrid? Sounds honest about her feelings, but she's clear about doing what's right.

I dunno. Doesn't sound horrid to me.

OP, you sound horrid

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He can apply for social security disability. There is a list of certain illnesses that can get his claim expedited, within 30 days i believe. There are many cancers that are eligible. The list of illnesses are found on the Internet. My dh had pancreatic cancer and was approved right away. Sadly he died before receiving his first check.

He can borrow against a 401k and if he has life insurance, and a short time to live, there are companies he can take his policy to, that will give him a portion of the proceeds upfront.

I'm sorry to hear about your DH.

Thank you.

Anonymous wrote:He can apply for social security disability. There is a list of certain illnesses that can get his claim expedited, within 30 days i believe. There are many cancers that are eligible. The list of illnesses are found on the Internet. My dh had pancreatic cancer and was approved right away. Sadly he died before receiving his first check.

He can borrow against a 401k and if he has life insurance, and a short time to live, there are companies he can take his policy to, that will give him a portion of the proceeds upfront.

I'm sorry to hear about your DH.

I'm pretty sure your family could get together with a good Attorney and give him a second mortgage with your pooled funds, that could be repaid to you in the future when the house is sold.

OP here. Thank you so much for all of this information, it is very helpful. We are not concerned with preserving our inheritance. We just want him to get the most money he can to be comfortable and try to enjoy the time he has left. Even if we gave him as much cash as we could, if he still has to pay the mortgage it would leave him with less than $1000 a month for everything else. That might cover daily expenses if he's careful but would not cover unexpected things like the roof leaking or needing to see a specialist across the country. And we would already be tapped out so unable to help more. We are looking into refinancing but again, I don't think it would be enough, since a large part of the mortgage is the high property taxes and high insurance b/c the property is on the water.

We are OK with paying fees for a reverse mortgage if it means not spending money out of our pockets right now. As I mentioned, we could help some, but it would be tight and it would mean putting off some of our own goals. I do have a lot of resentment about having to do this when his financial situation is completely his own fault, but I am trying to put that aside and be gracious for my DH's sake and because I do love my FIL. Despite his shortcomings he's a good man who deserves comfort and dignity in his last days. But I'm not perfect and I think spending all of our extra money every month might start to eat away at me, even if I knew we would be eventually getting it back and more. I also hate the idea that him dying sooner would benefit us financially. I guess that's the case no matter what, but I'd rather not be counting on getting any particular amount or anything at all.

We are definitely going to consult with a financial planner. We have one that we use so we will start with him. FIL is out of state so we may need to contact someone there as well. We are of course trying not to spend any more money than we absolutely have to.