Anonymous wrote:Also, when you SAH, you dont have daycare or nanny costs, but you might have costs for classes, weekly activities, increased utility costs by being home all day, etc.

In addition, we spent way more money on things like little treats for the kids and me when I stayed at home - coffee at Starbucks, the ice cream man in the afternoon for the kids, eating out because you're too far from home at lunchtime, admission to places. Also, your expenses will increase as your child gets older because of increased activities, as PP mentioned, and increased grocery bill.

I should add we also go on international vacations and eat out a lot.

I make just under 90k and my husband stays home. We do have a much lower mortgage ($1500 a month) but we also save $600 a month (regular savings) and contribute to a 401k (over $1000 a month but that includes company match, can't remember off hand quite how much my portion is). We don't have any debts other than the mortgage and have plenty of savings.

Despite what everyone has said here for us it is easy. I really don't understand how everyone spends so much! Aside from the cost of your mortgage, it sounds completely doable. Remember to factor in the lower taxes when you do your calculations too.

I make about $100K as a single mom and my ex's child support pays for preschool. I have a mortgage similar to yours and other similar costs. (I also get $600/month in rent from renting a room in my house.) I did notice that there's no car payment on your list. How much longer will your current cars last? You'd want to plan for that.

Honestly, this seems tight to me. My budget includes almost no money for vacations, and that can be stressful. You'd also want to build in partial-day preschool at some point, plus classes/activities, otherwise you are entertaining the kids 24/7 by yourself.

Try working part time or a couple of telecommute days first. I am SAH now with very similar budget and I hate the "tight" financial feeling.. Depending on your child/ren, you will also need housekeeper etc b/c the house gets 100x messier when you are home all day. You will definitely need to budget babysitter etc for some sanity time.

And your child care expenses won't disappear. At least not if you ever want a date night, want to stay sane yourself or if you want to keep up or boost your freelance work. Make sure you work it into your budget.

OP, I think you are overestimating how different your food budget will be if you SAH. Sure, you may be able to cut a bit...but you're still going to be tired after taking care of kids all day. Its not like you will have hours of free time to prepare meals from scratch every night.

Well, DH and I combined don't make what your DH alone does... plus we have childcare expenses, so I think you'd be fine.

We have very similar expenses (but only one child, I assume you have two) and make $125K (down from $190K since I am also going to school now) and don't have much room to maneuver, though we do save 15% for retirement and a little for college. Based on our experience, I wouldn't make the leap until you make at least what we do now. We saved 90% of my take-home salary for 9 months before I went back to school, and it has been a good approximation of our current lifestyle.

You'll be fine. Especially if you can continue to bring in 10k. Just make your savings/retirement direct deposited and you'll manage fine.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks PPs for the great advice. Good call on reminding me about the cost of classes and such...didn't even think of that!

Here's an issue I've had with the main advice (living on one salary to test that waters), though:

How do you try out living on one salary, really, when you work? Most of the eating out and even some of the expense of groceries (buying pre-made food) comes from the fact that I just don't have time to cook (and also do all the chores and then work more at night -- yes, I have that sort of job). It's been impossible for me to truly pilot a SAH budget when the time constraints of working make things like cooking for each meal almost impossible (and yes, I've tried cooking for the week on Sunday and not had enough time to do that, even!) Other things like transportation expenses can't just disappear for the pilot period either. Am I being dense or is there some easier way to pilot living on the single salary?

Finally, I should have mentioned that about $10K of my yearly intake is from freelancing, which I will continue to do.

For meals and miscellaneous, I would use a joint account that is only replenished by your husbands salary. If your parking is paid for by your salary, then it is a wash because you won't be parking every day and you won't be getting paid. BUt for lunches, coffee, etc. use a credit/debit card that is from your DH's salary. Have him pay for all meals out or always put it on that card. Buy all gifts for family off that card. You will probably eat out less but maybe start tracking that too. I know it is hard but I think you and DH should starting trying to cook more. I am a SAHM and I did cook before staying home but doing it after being home was an adjustment anyway. It is not "hard" for me to cook now but it isn't just a breezy thing. I am tired from taking care of the kids (I still get up at 5:45 so I can shower before my DH leaves for work) and the kitchen is very "lived in" and I have to clean up to start prepping food. So, if you get the family in the habit of cooking and eating and cleaning up together now, it will be easier later. I know SAHM's who hate cooking and are too tired and order in a lot and that is something you will not be able to do on your budget. You will want to eat out occasionally.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks PPs for the great advice. Good call on reminding me about the cost of classes and such...didn't even think of that!

Here's an issue I've had with the main advice (living on one salary to test that waters), though:

How do you try out living on one salary, really, when you work? Most of the eating out and even some of the expense of groceries (buying pre-made food) comes from the fact that I just don't have time to cook (and also do all the chores and then work more at night -- yes, I have that sort of job). It's been impossible for me to truly pilot a SAH budget when the time constraints of working make things like cooking for each meal almost impossible (and yes, I've tried cooking for the week on Sunday and not had enough time to do that, even!) Other things like transportation expenses can't just disappear for the pilot period either. Am I being dense or is there some easier way to pilot living on the single salary?

Finally, I should have mentioned that about $10K of my yearly intake is from freelancing, which I will continue to do.

I don't think the differences you're describing here are enough to be make or break to your decision. Besides, don't you want some sort of cushion in your finances if you go down to one salary? We have a very similar expense breakdown, and I don't think we would be happy on $94k, but obviously, YMMV. Also, your expense breakdown doesn't include any figures for insurance or retirement savings. I could see skipping college savings while you SAH, but you definitely need insurance and IMO, continuing retirement contributions, even at reduced levels, is a necessity, especially once you factor in the reduced earning power you will have over the next 10 years if you SAH.

Can you cook on Sundays for six months? Can you do six months of super-easy dinners (things like pasta and jarred sauce, PBJs, eggs and toast for dinner)? Can you haul out your crock pot for six months?

Remember, we're talking about a limited time period here, so some of the constraints you currently have on your grocery plan/budget may not apply for this trial period.

Finally, if you really, honestly can't get your grocery budget down, then cut elsewhere.

Anonymous wrote:You need to figure in the cost of:

1) Health insurance/medical expenses
2) Home repairs/maintenance
3) Roth/IRA for you, mom
4) Do you have life insurance (if not, you should definitely have it, esp if you decide to SAH)?
5) Activities for your child--classes, sports, music, etc.

Also, when you SAH, you will also be accruing expenses--meeting friends for lunch/coffee, outings, parking fees, etc.

Before you quit, I would recommend what the PPs have stated--try to live only on DH's income (minus things like health insurance, if that is paid from your employer) for 6 months. I would also try to go part-time before quitting completely.

This...I SAH for 9 months, went back PT, mainly for sanity as well as the extra money. DH is in the 140-150K range. We have a smallish mortage and a car payment. I will say we did okay, but it was definitely a lifestyle adjustment without my income. I was at the 80K range when I left work. I found that SAH still had its costs; coffee, lunch, classes, outings etc. Plus, its really hard for me to cook EVERY night. This is personal I know, but eating out once a week was part of us feeling normal...maybe that's odd.

My goal is to go back full time early next year and hopefully we can start saving a lot more again.

OP here. Thanks PPs for the great advice. Good call on reminding me about the cost of classes and such...didn't even think of that!

Here's an issue I've had with the main advice (living on one salary to test that waters), though:

How do you try out living on one salary, really, when you work? Most of the eating out and even some of the expense of groceries (buying pre-made food) comes from the fact that I just don't have time to cook (and also do all the chores and then work more at night -- yes, I have that sort of job). It's been impossible for me to truly pilot a SAH budget when the time constraints of working make things like cooking for each meal almost impossible (and yes, I've tried cooking for the week on Sunday and not had enough time to do that, even!) Other things like transportation expenses can't just disappear for the pilot period either. Am I being dense or is there some easier way to pilot living on the single salary?

Finally, I should have mentioned that about $10K of my yearly intake is from freelancing, which I will continue to do.