Does it matter OP? He's raising money for Cancer right? The money isn't going directly to him but an organization right? Let him frame it however he wants. You shouldn't not contribute just based on his delivery of the message.

The American Cancer Society calls EVERYONE EVER diagnosed with cancer 'a survivor', regardless of stage and prognosis. In fact, even people who have stage IV and are technically expected to die, are called 'survivors'.

And definitely, people who have been diagnosed and did not die.

OP, I don't blame you for throwing this one out there. I agree that waht you described feels a little disingenuous, but folks can identify as they like. I don't define myself as a survivor of a disease that could have killed me in an email, but I'm not fundraising, so i don't need the flair.

Anonymous wrote:My DS is 18 mths out from chemo. He won't even be considered in remission until 2 years from the end of chemo. He will be a survivor at 5 years from the end of treatment with no reoccurrence of disease. Right now he is just considered to not have active disease.

I suppose it depends on cancer and stage. My DH is a few years out from surgery, and a year less than that from treatment. We say survivor now but we do not say cure. We also use NED (no evidence of disease) dated from the surgery date (since it was adjuvent chemo);

Melanoma is a horrible death, so if he's using his experience and channeling it into something as positive as raising money, I think you should just let it go.

Maybe, maybe he is truly grateful to those who died before him so that we understand enough about melanoma to remove moles like his.

Maybe there's a lot more to his story that you don't know because you don't have an obligation to share your cancer diagnosis with the world.

Maybe he got his mole checked out because he lost his beloved Aunt Tilly to a horrible death and Tilly might still be with us if she'd gotten her moles checked out earlier.

It's a good cause. Support it if you want, or don't. Do you have an excuse for every opportunity to give that comes your way?

As for what makes a cancer survivor: best definition I got was "you become a survivor when you don't drop dead from shock and fear upon diagnosis."

Let him have the title. From what I've seen--the worry is always there once you have (and recovered) from any cancer diagnosis. There is always the worry it will come back. I don't think you know what the diagnosis and subsequent surgery, treatment, multiple follow-up appts (with fear in between each appt that something has come back--waiting for results, etc.) like until you've been there yourself.

My DS is 18 mths out from chemo. He won't even be considered in remission until 2 years from the end of chemo. He will be a survivor at 5 years from the end of treatment with no reoccurrence of disease. Right now he is just considered to not have active disease.