In addition to being in love with each other, DH and I genuinely like each other. That makes it easier for us to communicate well, share responsibilities, shrug off the little disappointments or irritations, laugh a lot, and fight effectively. Because we like each other, even when we strongly disagree about something, things never get ugly and out of control.

I'll also echo that a true effort on my part to have sex frequently -- I'm another "never say no" believer -- has made a huge difference in our day-to-day happiness. I could be quite content with once a week or so, but I aim for three times a week and am never sorry once things get going.

Anonymous wrote:I became happy in my marriage when I finally realized that he accepts me warts and all, so why shouldn't I accept him warts and all? Once I stopped expecting him to be perfect, our marriage became much happier.

Anonymous wrote:Love unconditionally. Communicate effectively. Flirt frequently. Oh, and have lots of sex!

I agree with both of these quotes. Some things that make my marriage happy are:

- great sex
- not expecting my wife to change the things that bother me (took me a long time to learn this lesson)
- a lifetime of memories, experiences, ups and downs together
- being in love with her

The feeling of knowing that someone always has your back. No matter what he/she is your partner, friend, lover for life and you get to share the ups with him/her and also the burdens of the downs. The feeling of security cannot be duplicated.

Love unconditionally. Communicate effectively. Flirt frequently. Oh, and have lots of sex!

I became happy in my marriage when I finally realized that he accepts me warts and all, so why shouldn't I accept him warts and all? Once I stopped expecting him to be perfect, our marriage became much happier.

Anonymous wrote:To the PP above about creating the sex environment- do you wear lingerie when you come home from work or on the weekends around the house? Or am I reading that wrong? Do you have older kids- what are you going to do when they are older?

I am just curious- I do actually try to make an effort in my "lounge clothes"- which is just as much for me, its just as easy to wear a cute cut of yoga pants (hello booty!) or leggings and a coordinating tank (DH loves men's undershirts on women, probably holdover from 80s pinups!) as it is the throw on a baggy stained tee shirt and ripped PJ bottoms. TJ maxx is your friend in this dept for sure!

No, no lingerie around the house. I meant that is what I wear to bed. Every woman is different as Is every man so you have to do what works you both of you. For example, my DH is a no panties guy, so I generally go commando when I go to bed but usually get up and put some on after he goes to sleep. If I am looking for some morning action I get to early and take them off.

Re the kids, I have two girls and walk around the house naked all the time, especially during football season.

To the PP above about creating the sex environment- do you wear lingerie when you come home from work or on the weekends around the house? Or am I reading that wrong? Do you have older kids- what are you going to do when they are older?

I am just curious- I do actually try to make an effort in my "lounge clothes"- which is just as much for me, its just as easy to wear a cute cut of yoga pants (hello booty!) or leggings and a coordinating tank (DH loves men's undershirts on women, probably holdover from 80s pinups!) as it is the throw on a baggy stained tee shirt and ripped PJ bottoms. TJ maxx is your friend in this dept for sure!

Communication and talking to one another. Being HONEST about what you feel, and what you want. And don't take every single freaking word as a personal attack on you.

We have the same sense of humor and laugh every day. I really think this is key. Through everything that life throws at us, my husband can make me laugh. And I'd like to think vice versa.

We communicate really well. We talk about stuff and we don't let it simmer and fester.

He's a great dad and is very aware of doing his share with kids and around the house.

And I think we both truly want the other person to be happy. I think if you both walk around life with that as a motivator in your actions and words, it's hard to go wrong. But it has to be both of you.

I don't know what happened to our marriage but we used to part of this happy thread. It is very sad to read knowing that we are not happy anymore and would be considered part of the unhappy marriage thread.

Anonymous wrote:No money worries. He earns more than we spend. There's not much else to fuss about.

Sex? Are you the same on the introvert/extrovert, neat/slob dimensions?

"No money worries. He earns more than we spend. There's not much else to fuss about."

You really need to get out more.

Anonymous wrote:Each of us having our "own thing" to do. He plays basketball twice a week, I meet friends or dinner/lunch/brunch every now and then. We realized early on we don't have to do EVERYTHING together.

Sharing responsibilities - he cleans, I cook. He does the laundry, I fold it, etc.

We are very good at communicating.

We have sex at least twice a week, even when I don't want to (which is 85% of the time - but I NEVER regret it afterwards)

Similar case with us, I have an unspoken rule to never say no and in addition, I make an effort to create "an evironment for sex" - no more PJs to bed, no frumpy clothes even when I am just hanging around the house, lots of lingerie (but not so much as to make it standard).

We are of very similar mindsets when it comes to how to spend (or not spend) our money, raise our children, spend our free time. We both make a real effort to do whatever needs doing (laundry, dishes, dealing with the screaming child), try to give more than we take, and give eachother the benefit of the doubt. I feel really supported by my husband. Even though I work fewer hours, when we have a sick kid, he makes sure that figuring out a childcare solution is "our" problem, not my problem. Oh, and he picks up all the poop from my pre-marriage dog.

Anonymous wrote:Awww,I love this thread. I'm from the miserable marriage thread adn as an optimist in life this thread makes me happy to read......

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