I have above average intelligence. Not sure about DH, but I think pretty high intelligence. Our DS was tested last year (at age 8) and scored genius level IQ, 143. The irony is that he has some learning disabilities which is why he was going through a battery of tests in the first place. Many kids that have extremely high IQs have learning disabilities and are often misdiagnosed with ADHD, ODD, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder how many of the "wicked smart" parents with kids "not as smart" are actually "wicked smart". This area has a lot of transplants and people who were extremely smart for their hometown, top of their class, always ahead of everyone else in Booberville, Indiana and grew up internalizing being the smartest kid in the class. Their children are all growing up in an area where everyone is smart and highly educated. A kid who seems OK but not incredibly smart here would stand out back in your original hometown but seem average here. In addition, IQ scores and testing have changed. A high score 20-30-40 years ago would be equivalent to a lower score today.

Its more probable that the children are in the same "smart" range as the parents but the perceptions have simply changed because who you compare against is different.

A PP here. I didn't grow up in Booberville, but rather in a suburb of a major city with very strong schools and lots of very intense competition. I think kids can turn out differently from their parents, either because they got a different set of genes or because of personality or some other reason. My siblings didn't all have the same ability as I did, so why would all of my kids?

I am just now reading Charles Murray's new book, Coming Apart, about the gulf between the "new upper class" (cognitively gifted/highly educated/affluent folks like many around here) and the rest of America. He makes the point bolded above. The kids who seem just "average" in elite schools in the DC area (public as well as private) are still well above average nationally in terms of cognitive ability. It's an interesting read. There is a 25 question quiz to find out how out of touch you are with mainstream America (do you buy domestic mass market beer, can you identify a NASCAR driver, do you have a close friend who is an Evangelical, etc.) We don't realize just how rarified an environment many of us and our kids live in.

Charles Murray was always a liberal boogey man to me in college because of the stuff he wrote about race and IQ in the 80's. It did have the advantage of stimulating some very interesting research on the consequences of poverty. I have not read his new book, but have heard interviews with him and I don't know what to make of it, it rings true at some level, but I am not sure how much that means I need to reexamine my thinking generally. I do know that I spent most of my youth desperate to leave Denver because I had so much better of a vocabulary than every one around me. My fellow students that were pretty academic all fled to a coast also, with one exception in at the U of Wisconsin and Santa Fe.

Sometimes I wish we lived in Falls Church or Rockville, amongst more striving immigrants who would serve as role models. DH and I are both 99.9% and so are both kids, I'd say... but they float along with A- because it's easier not to work very hard.

And they are so different - the younger one is a thinker, introverted like us. But the older one loves sports, people in groups, managing things. It's hard to guide her correctly - trying to think about preparing her for business school, which we would never have considered. Reading the new book _Quiet_ http://www.thepowerofintroverts.com/ helps give me perspective on who she is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder how many of the "wicked smart" parents with kids "not as smart" are actually "wicked smart". This area has a lot of transplants and people who were extremely smart for their hometown, top of their class, always ahead of everyone else in Booberville, Indiana and grew up internalizing being the smartest kid in the class. Their children are all growing up in an area where everyone is smart and highly educated. A kid who seems OK but not incredibly smart here would stand out back in your original hometown but seem average here. In addition, IQ scores and testing have changed. A high score 20-30-40 years ago would be equivalent to a lower score today.

Its more probable that the children are in the same "smart" range as the parents but the perceptions have simply changed because who you compare against is different.

A PP here. I didn't grow up in Booberville, but rather in a suburb of a major city with very strong schools and lots of very intense competition. I think kids can turn out differently from their parents, either because they got a different set of genes or because of personality or some other reason. My siblings didn't all have the same ability as I did, so why would all of my kids?

I am just now reading Charles Murray's new book, Coming Apart, about the gulf between the "new upper class" (cognitively gifted/highly educated/affluent folks like many around here) and the rest of America. He makes the point bolded above. The kids who seem just "average" in elite schools in the DC area (public as well as private) are still well above average nationally in terms of cognitive ability. It's an interesting read. There is a 25 question quiz to find out how out of touch you are with mainstream America (do you buy domestic mass market beer, can you identify a NASCAR driver, do you have a close friend who is an Evangelical, etc.) We don't realize just how rarified an environment many of us and our kids live in.

I think my kids are probably as smart as their parents, but what astounds me is my daughter's artistic abilities. Not that I think she's the next Picasso, but she's so creative, and she can just whip out a drawing of anything whenver she feels like it. I'm not sure where that came from, but it's pretty fascinating.

I9:28 could describe our family, though my 5 year is a lot more average than hers. My bigger issue with my kids is motivation. They just don't appear to have my work ethic and that worries me a lot. I have met some smart people that were just duds because they just lacked a work ethic.

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't surprise me that many super-smart kids in this area lack the hunger that many of us feel we have. They go to fancy private schools (or top of the line public), they get to participate in a variety of activities that suit their interests, things just come to that without much work. On the other hand, I worked my ass off to get out of Booberville, Indiana (for lack of a better place, thanks PP!). That was the source of the hunger. I looked around me and wanted more. I didn't want to settle for being a waitress or medical receptionist (although, I must say that my friends back home who work at the Dr's offices have great schedules!) and I didn't want to end up poor - like my parents. My kids are completely cool with settling because they have things that I didn't even dream existed.

I feel like I wrote this!! totally agree! Growing up in a poor family in a rural setting definately gave me a kick in the pants to excel. I'm not going to take my kid out of his good public school, but this thread has inpired me to see about getting my kid into some volunteer work-- maybe helping at a soup kitchen or a children's hospital or something so that he can see that life isn't always so rosy.

Anonymous wrote:I wonder how many of the "wicked smart" parents with kids "not as smart" are actually "wicked smart". This area has a lot of transplants and people who were extremely smart for their hometown, top of their class, always ahead of everyone else in Booberville, Indiana and grew up internalizing being the smartest kid in the class. Their children are all growing up in an area where everyone is smart and highly educated. A kid who seems OK but not incredibly smart here would stand out back in your original hometown but seem average here. In addition, IQ scores and testing have changed. A high score 20-30-40 years ago would be equivalent to a lower score today.

Its more probable that the children are in the same "smart" range as the parents but the perceptions have simply changed because who you compare against is different.

A PP here. I didn't grow up in Booberville, but rather in a suburb of a major city with very strong schools and lots of very intense competition. I think kids can turn out differently from their parents, either because they got a different set of genes or because of personality or some other reason. My siblings didn't all have the same ability as I did, so why would all of my kids?

It doesn't surprise me that many super-smart kids in this area lack the hunger that many of us feel we have. They go to fancy private schools (or top of the line public), they get to participate in a variety of activities that suit their interests, things just come to that without much work. On the other hand, I worked my ass off to get out of Booberville, Indiana (for lack of a better place, thanks PP!). That was the source of the hunger. I looked around me and wanted more. I didn't want to settle for being a waitress or medical receptionist (although, I must say that my friends back home who work at the Dr's offices have great schedules!) and I didn't want to end up poor - like my parents. My kids are completely cool with settling because they have things that I didn't even dream existed. When I went off to my great university (on scholarship), I had friends (who are like my kids) who were fascinated by my stories from home because they didn't even realize that there were places where kids strived to become bull riders and bar managers.

OK, I'm off my soap box now and didn't mean to take the thread off it's path.

To get to the OP's original question: I am pretty smart, DH is smart enough (he's a much harder worker than I am). We both were blessed with great interpersonal skills (yes, I know that sounds narcissistic, but it's an anonymous forum) and that helped us gain a lot of traction in life. Our kids are similar. Not the smartest, not the dumbest, and pretty social. I really don't think the apple falls too far from the tree in any case.

Anonymous wrote:Wow! I recognize myself in so many of these other posts! I'm merely above average, but I really work hard and have a strong competitive streak, whereas my husband is a genius and has zero competitive streak. He's perfectly happy to just float along in life.

My 3rd grader seems to be taking after his dad. He has an amazing knack for math, but doesn't care if he is considered the best even at that. He is perfectly happy to be at grade level in other subjects. When I was his age I was determined to be the very best I could be at school. Does anyone know of a book or something that will help me light a fire under this kid-- maybe give him a bit of hunger?

Take him out of his comfort zone and see what happens. Give him a workbook with more advanced problems and see how he responds to the challenge.

It didn't occur to me to be competitive in academic things, it was just very natural to do them very, very well. It's what I expected of myself but I never put this success in terms of my peers. I have no idea how well my classmates did in school. I just really enjoy learning. Maybe your son isn't demonstrating a competitive spirit, but he may be prompted to reveal a hunger toward achieving competence in this area that he enjoys so much, math?

I'm fascinated by how well my daughter can read situations. She's a wee little kid but understands complex emotions and I see her process interactions around her in a way that is impressive.

My son is clever and curious, which I think is a good combination. I think being driven (inquisitive) is the more important part.

My IQ is around 140 and my DH's is around 128 so we are both on the "smart" end of the scale. Our oldest is smart in some ways but has a huge deficit in processing speed (so it takes him forever to get to the right answer, read a book, write a sentence, etc). Our youngest on the other hand is indeed wicked smart. He's only 5 and hasn't had any formal testing but I would not be at all surprised if he was in the 99th percentile on most measures of intelligence. It's not just that he can answer questions like what is 4 x 7 (in his head) it's the way he thinks about the problem. Instead of adding up four 7's one at a time he automatically adds two together (14) and then adds two 14's to get to 28. He's scary smart.

Wow! I recognize myself in so many of these other posts! I'm merely above average, but I really work hard and have a strong competitive streak, whereas my husband is a genius and has zero competitive streak. He's perfectly happy to just float along in life.

My 3rd grader seems to be taking after his dad. He has an amazing knack for math, but doesn't care if he is considered the best even at that. He is perfectly happy to be at grade level in other subjects. When I was his age I was determined to be the very best I could be at school. Does anyone know of a book or something that will help me light a fire under this kid-- maybe give him a bit of hunger?

It's not just smarts, but personality and academic tilt. DC is smart but not as curious as I am and also not as thorough when it comes to school work amd sometimes this bothers me. However DC has an interesting mind, is a voracious reader, has a great work ethic. And DC is coachable on the curiousity and thoroughness fronts. Thank goodness it's not all nature (in the nature versus nurture scheme of things).

Anonymous wrote:wicked smart? are you from boston

She forgot the h - it's "wicked smaht"

And here's the paradox - anyone who uses the term wicked smart is not (unless you're a janitor solving complex equations while mopping the bathroom).