Anonymous wrote:Did anyone have an unexpected pregnancy at 41? I have two kids who will be 8 and 11, and I really worry about having a baby at this age and time of life. Is the age gap too large? Will I be unable to appreciate and spend time with my older kids because of the burdens of a baby/toddler/preschooler? Will the youngest ever really know his/her older siblings? Also, I have a demanding job and am the main earner, so we'd have to have child care. I'm not able to stay at home, so time with my kids already feels stretched thin. I would love to hear perspective from women who may have gone through this about how they've handled it.

The youngest might or might not be close to her siblings but age won't be the main factor. My siblings are 17 and 12 years older than me. I am extremely close to both. My sister lives in Europe and visits twice a year; we exchange several emails every day and talk on the phone every weekend. I am not saying this will be the case with your family, but it might as well be.

I cannot answer most of your questions, but I wanted to add that my SIL had #3 at 41. Their ages are currently 13, 10 and 2. Their lives are not at all disrupted. Changes in daily routines, of course. Her oldest still excels in sports, the middle child takes her gymnastics and cheerleading classes, etc.y SIL is also taking care of my MIL and FIL (they live out of state or we would help out more). You can do this!!!

Do whatever is best for you and your family don't let the zealots influnence you. it's a personal choice. I will not willing to share my choice in similar circumstances make up your own mind

My sister and I are 12 years apart; I was the surprise baby. I loved having an older sister when I was a little girl. She would drive me to elementary school and all of my friends loved her. However, she went away to college soon after I started to school and then got married and moved away right after college, so it was almost like I was an only child for most of my life. Once I was grown and married, and especially after I had children (and she had another baby just before I did), we were finally in the same stage of life, so to speak, so that was the first time since I was young that I felt like I had a sister. Now that we are all that is left of our family (our parents have both passed), it is nice for me to have someone older to talk to, especially about things like menopause and other issues that I never had the chance to talk to my mother about.

congratulations OP.
That is from an older would have been mom who misses her son dearly.