Anonymous
05/24/2012 14:09
Subject: Re:Anyone worry about their average child?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think maybe you and OP need to let your kids choose their own future, even if it isn't "what you want for your kid."
No, no not what I meant at all. I am sorry that this took off on a college thread or people think I am trying to plan his future. I was just asking for BTDT about MS & HS. More like....he is going to get " c's" and is that okay. I guess I really meant that I can ask, supervise, hover, hound whatever to get the work done or should I just let him do whAt he wants, how much he wants, knowing that he will struggle and get c's. of course, I know he is young and has many years ahead. I am not a tiger mom at all. Well, I got lots of good feedback and support so thank you all. He is a beautiful soul, really, and that counts for something. He is the kind of kid when you give him a piece of toast he says " mom, that was the best toast ever." I want him to keep that spirit and also find a way to encourage him to do just a bit better with school simply because I know he can. Again, thank you all!
This made me tear up a bit. Your son sounds like mine. Also finishing 6th grade and is slowly tanking in English at his very good IB DCPS. It is very hard to just let them be "whatever". You are a great mom. Remember that, please.
Anonymous
05/24/2012 13:58
Subject: Re:Anyone worry about their average child?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My nephew was your son. Did the bare minimum -- his classic thing was completing assignments at the kitchen table under his mom's eagle eye, and then failing to turn them in.
He's in the Navy now. Enlisted at the start of his senior year of high school -- the recruiters basically ensured that he graduated. He's been promoted 3 times, seen half the world and now serves on one of their most requested boats.
There are paths that lead places other than Harvard.
quite a consolation - there's always the military.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with military service.
if that's the kid's choice fine - I'm not paying for prep classes, tutoring, trips to the museums, zoos, music lessons etc. so the kid can come home in a box.
You're a real shit. I hope - pray - Karma comes around and bites you in your pathetic self-absorbed ass.
Anonymous
05/24/2012 13:51
Subject: Anyone worry about their average child?
I was a very good student - straight A's from 6th grade until 12th, actually enjoyed school. I got a scholarship to an out-of-state college, and have had a decent career. have a house and a kid and a pretty good life.
My sister and brother were both marginal students - they are both brighter than average (120ish IQ's) but neither one of them really gave a rat's butt about studying. They both did as well as they had to do to get into college. Went to state schools, studied just hard enough to keep any scholarships they got. Both graduated and found decent jobs. They're both married and own houses and have kids and good lives. So we all turned out about the same. I wouldn't worry too much - keep pushing him because that's your job, but know that he'll turn out ok.
My sister and brother were both marginal students - they are both brighter than average (120ish IQ's) but neither one of them really gave a rat's butt about studying. They both did as well as they had to do to get into college. Went to state schools, studied just hard enough to keep any scholarships they got. Both graduated and found decent jobs. They're both married and own houses and have kids and good lives. So we all turned out about the same. I wouldn't worry too much - keep pushing him because that's your job, but know that he'll turn out ok.
Anonymous
05/24/2012 10:36
Subject: Anyone worry about their average child?
Anonymous wrote:I am a worrier. My DS is very average in school. He seems happy, has a few close friends so that is all good. Moms with older kids who have BTDT -- should I just relax and let him be himself even at the cost of being a poor student? He starts 7 th next year and there is no way he is going to be able to handle the responsibility ( he also has an issue or two with memory, attention.) He does the least amount of study, effort required. He is a sweet boy and his teachers have always said " I know he knows more than he shows me" so basically he has been getting A's and B's because they have been willing to work with him. I read these threads and he is so not honors, AP, IB, where everyone around us - all their kids are headed that way. Really, this is just a mom feeling down as I know better as a professional. Worked in counseling, worked with college kids and I know not everyone can/ should follow the same path but now that grades and college are staring us in the face I worry about him as he really has no interest or understanding of why learning is important. No sibs to ask for advice. If this was your son do you have any words of wisdom or advice?
The most worrisome thing you write is that there is no way he can handle the responsibility. A typical average kid should be able to handle the responsibilities of being in middle school with limited help from their parents. So it's a lack of understanding why things are important, or lack of experience doing things for himself. Your challenge is to give him some experience doing things for himself and suffering consequences if they aren't done, and having him internalize the importance of education. What can he do this summer that would impart these skills? Volunteer work in a field of interest to him? yard work for some elderly neighbors? reading on the requirements and skills of different occupations? interviewing people about their jobs and how they got there and what they wish they had known in middle school?
Anonymous
05/24/2012 10:35
Subject: Anyone worry about their average child?
military is a good place to look. Or maybe have him go to military school to motivate him into studying harder if he doesn't want to do military.
Anonymous
05/24/2012 10:25
Subject: Anyone worry about their average child?
The world is run by C students. Maybe not the US President or CEO's of major corporations but take a look around you. Do you EVERYONE around you was more than average in school? Look at a class of 600+ graduating seniors from a typical area HS. Do you think that most of them are NOT going to do well, that only the top 5 or 10% will succeed? And you have no idea how much that humble looking federal worker next door has socked away. You would be surprised how well many average people do.
He'll find his way. Better to teach financial literacy IMHO.
He'll find his way. Better to teach financial literacy IMHO.
Anonymous
05/23/2012 22:13
Subject: Re:Anyone worry about their average child?
That was me. Always did the bare minimum to get by, barely passed high school. But then I went to the one college that accepted me and things just clicked. Graduated first in my class, did well in grad school, doing great now. Sometimes you just have to wait for things to happen.
Anonymous
05/23/2012 14:31
Subject: Re:Anyone worry about their average child?
Anonymous wrote:I think maybe you and OP need to let your kids choose their own future, even if it isn't "what you want for your kid."
No, no not what I meant at all. I am sorry that this took off on a college thread or people think I am trying to plan his future. I was just asking for BTDT about MS & HS. More like....he is going to get " c's" and is that okay. I guess I really meant that I can ask, supervise, hover, hound whatever to get the work done or should I just let him do whAt he wants, how much he wants, knowing that he will struggle and get c's. of course, I know he is young and has many years ahead. I am not a tiger mom at all. Well, I got lots of good feedback and support so thank you all. He is a beautiful soul, really, and that counts for something. He is the kind of kid when you give him a piece of toast he says " mom, that was the best toast ever." I want him to keep that spirit and also find a way to encourage him to do just a bit better with school simply because I know he can. Again, thank you all!
Anonymous
05/23/2012 13:45
Subject: Re:Anyone worry about their average child?
Around this area, it seems like there is so much pressure for kids to perform academically and that college isn't optional. So, it's hard to let go. My oldest is like your's OP. When I finally listened to him and helped him figure out what he wanted, it was clear that he didn't want to be pushed toward college. So, I talked to him about other options, including vo tech. He found a program that interested him. And, when he found out that admission wasn't guaranteed, he started working hard in school so that he would be a viable candidate. My C student is now an A student and headed to vo tech. And, we're all happy.
Anonymous
05/23/2012 13:44
Subject: Re:Anyone worry about their average child?
Anonymous wrote:PP -- I shared my example of an average kid's success story. Yes, he chose the military. And two years later, he has over $40K in savings, excellent performance reviews, and he loves what he's doing. He spent last New Year's eve with fellow sailors in a beachfront villa in Bali, and Chinese New Year in Hong Kong Harbor. I'm pretty frickin' proud of him.
You have a better idea? Please share it, instead of rolling your eyes like a RH.
That's great. I have a kid in 9th grade who's an average student by local area standards; he's an avid reader who loves all things history and military-related. He's already made it clear he doesn't want a desk job. We have not discussed the military directly, but it will clearly be an option for him to consider.
I can't tell you the contempt I have for area residents who look down on the military at the same time as they benefit from both its presence and its efforts. This area can be such a bubble.
Anonymous
05/23/2012 13:41
Subject: Re:Anyone worry about their average child?
Anonymous wrote:I think maybe you and OP need to let your kids choose their own future, even if it isn't "what you want for your kid."
yes, you can't stop them if that is what they want to do. You can try to influence them though if you don't think it is the best course for them.
Actually, we've already discussed this. The kid definitely doesn't want to go in the military. I say then study hard or that's what'll happen to you.
Anonymous
05/23/2012 13:37
Subject: Re:Anyone worry about their average child?
I think maybe you and OP need to let your kids choose their own future, even if it isn't "what you want for your kid."
Anonymous
05/23/2012 13:31
Subject: Re:Anyone worry about their average child?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My nephew was your son. Did the bare minimum -- his classic thing was completing assignments at the kitchen table under his mom's eagle eye, and then failing to turn them in.
He's in the Navy now. Enlisted at the start of his senior year of high school -- the recruiters basically ensured that he graduated. He's been promoted 3 times, seen half the world and now serves on one of their most requested boats.
There are paths that lead places other than Harvard.
quite a consolation - there's always the military.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with military service.
if that's the kid's choice fine - I'm not paying for prep classes, tutoring, trips to the museums, zoos, music lessons etc. so the kid can come home in a box.
I chose the military about 10 years ago much to my parents' "disappointment." I was smart enough to sign a contract guaranteeing me a job that required hundred of thousands of dollars worth of training over the course of 2.5 years. I was smart enough to take advantage of it, do well, make money while I did it, and leave the military after four years with unbelievable credentials for the civilian world. I was accepted to a top 25 university (GI bill=almost completely free), and went on to become a federal civilian in my field and make just over six figures. I am happy.
I was just not motivated as a young student. I think I was a little immature. I actually have a very high IQ, but I needed to be pushed and challenged. I needed the discipline. The military did way more for me than I ever did for it, which is part of the reason why I continue to serve in the civilian world. Honestly, it was a great experience.
I'm the pp you're quoting, and belive it or not I had pretty much the same experience. No regrets at all. But I don't want it for my kid, and I don't think he's the military type anyway.
Anonymous
05/23/2012 13:28
Subject: Re:Anyone worry about their average child?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My nephew was your son. Did the bare minimum -- his classic thing was completing assignments at the kitchen table under his mom's eagle eye, and then failing to turn them in.
He's in the Navy now. Enlisted at the start of his senior year of high school -- the recruiters basically ensured that he graduated. He's been promoted 3 times, seen half the world and now serves on one of their most requested boats.
There are paths that lead places other than Harvard.
quite a consolation - there's always the military.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with military service.
if that's the kid's choice fine - I'm not paying for prep classes, tutoring, trips to the museums, zoos, music lessons etc. so the kid can come home in a box.
I chose the military about 10 years ago much to my parents' "disappointment." I was smart enough to sign a contract guaranteeing me a job that required hundred of thousands of dollars worth of training over the course of 2.5 years. I was smart enough to take advantage of it, do well, make money while I did it, and leave the military after four years with unbelievable credentials for the civilian world. I was accepted to a top 25 university (GI bill=almost completely free), and went on to become a federal civilian in my field and make just over six figures. I am happy.
I was just not motivated as a young student. I think I was a little immature. I actually have a very high IQ, but I needed to be pushed and challenged. I needed the discipline. The military did way more for me than I ever did for it, which is part of the reason why I continue to serve in the civilian world. Honestly, it was a great experience.
Anonymous
05/23/2012 13:21
Subject: Re:Anyone worry about their average child?
Really? Military service = death?
So your criteria for sending your kid to college is "he won't die."
Nice.
So your criteria for sending your kid to college is "he won't die."
Nice.